Strength and Fearlessness of the Sityar Family

Maggie Corcoran  0:01 

Okay, so I think it started recording. So if you just want to say your name where you’re from tell us a little about yourself real quick.

 

Ferdinand Sityar  0:12 

Yeah, absolutely. So I’m Ferdinand Sityar is my full name. I was born in the Philippines in 1999. Fellow graduate from JMU as well, and immigrated to the states, right around my first birthday. Been here ever since. That’s kind of like a high level just introduction for myself. But you have any more like detailed questions. Happy to get into that as well.

 

Maggie Corcoran  0:43 

 Yeah, definitely. So if you could share just like a little bit of background about like your parents and your family?

 

Ferdinand Sityar  0:52 

Yeah, absolutely. So my parents were both born in the capital province, Manila, Philippines. And they got  together around the age that I am now which is 24 years old. So I guess i didn’t mention but they met in Manila. my dad was a contractor for a lot of smaller telecommunications companies over there once he graduated college, and that’s what eventually scored him a job in the states that eventually moved our family so he ended up accepting, excuse me, accepting an offer for a company in Detroit, Michigan Doing a lot of basic a lot of hands-on communication, and telecommunications work That was just enough to pay the bills for our entire family to Eventually immigrate here. I also have two older sisters that came over with us. I’m the youngest of three. So I was the youngest making way over as well, when I was around one, like I said, and my other sisters are a year, and four years older than me respectively, So lots of big adjustments for the family. Once we eventually got to Detroit, one of the more like prevalent ones being the weather, of course, between like the climate in the Philippines and Michigan that never really those climates never really intersect. And then adjusting to that was definitely is not something I particularly remember. But just because I was so young, but something my family and others have plenty of stories to tell about just with how they kind of made these adjustments in terms of, like I said, the weather, but among that ended up being a pretty smooth transition once we did get here. And obviously eventually ended up moving to the Northern Virginia area where he secured another job at another company, all kind of working in the same space. He’s kind of been in that same telecommunication engineering space, his entire career, and kind of just built his way up across a couple of different cities between mostly around Virginia and the DC metro area. So yeah, that’s kind of what that’s kind of the main story of what brought us here is, was his work, and then eventually, trickle down to us, you know, growing up here, obviously, going to school, and now living here on our own. So

 

Maggie Corcoran  3:12 

when you were growing up, did you speak a different language? Like was that an adjustment? And like, kind of what was the conversation? I mean, I guess you were really young. So you probably don’t know as much, but kind of like the conversation around like, how you guys were gonna go through the move and like the different, like cultural things you had to get used to?

 

Ferdinand Sityar  3:41 

Yeah, absolutely. I guess one of the first things that I kind of learned is, again, since we moved since we moved here, at least for me, personally, at such a young age, I was never really indulged into speaking Tagalog, which is the native language in the Philippines. And that never really became native tongue to me. And I do think it’s unfortunate because my oldest sister Fiona had to get to go to school in the Philippines for a year, year, two years rather, actually and get kind of get to immerse them to genuine Filipino culture for a bit of her childhood. But yeah, that’s actually something I didn’t really get to experience as much. Obviously, when I started school, when I eventually got to that age, it was in the States And obviously, at those schools, we were learning English, and all those classes. So in terms of the language barrier, that was that had to be overcome, at least for me, personally, I guess I was one of five in our family that that did not are the least our family At the very least They didn’t have to necessarily fight through that as much. As for my parents, obviously, for them growing up up until their 30s In the Philippines, there’s much to much to be done from there. I think I recall, my parents doing a lot of English immersion coursework and such just to, at least in our first year hear from stories I’ve heard just to kind of, you know, pick things up, and they had relative understanding of English in the first place, I think in the Philippines, the coursework, even earlier levels, um, does involve a lot of English language, just because that is obviously a very, very just universal tongue to go by. So they weren’t completely in the dark when we got here. But obviously, it was a it was a major adjustment when they had to kind of, you know, go to their jobs or go to church even in a completely different language So, I guess the starting with that was one of the biggest cultural changes. I think I mentioned earlier, a lot about the climate. And that’s something that really kind of had to change between, you know, that’s, that’s kind of daily life is how you know, what you wear outside and how you go about, you know, spending your day, whether it’s 30 degrees or 90 degrees is is a completely different lifestyle. So that was probably something that they, I unfortunately, on to too many stories about in terms of the actual adjustment. I know, I know, it was hard, but they definitely took their time adjusting to that And I think it was definitely nice once we eventually got to Virginia, which was in 2003 So about, I think it’s about two and a half, three years in Michigan before eventually moving down to Virginia, where the climate was a bit more fair. I think that’s, that’s one of the major reasons we settled down in this area, but outside of my dad’s job, but I’d say yeah, those are probably the top two things is climate adjustment. As well as the obvious language barrier, just culturally, that they, they kind of had to build their adjustments around and kind of make a new life out of which obviously, they’ve done really successfully or my whole family has really proud to say that anyways, so

 

Maggie Corcoran  7:14 

for you personally, like growing up in the States, mostly were there things that you notice, like in school, your interactions with people or anything that was kind of like different or that stood out that like affected you.

 

Ferdinand Sityar  7:34 

Um, I don’t think anything kind of like major culturally really kind of like in terms of like a cultural like that really did like affect the way I was able to in terms of school, the way I was able to learn interact with people. I again, just want to, like, can’t overstate how fortunate I was to kind of have a full, a full childhood and one, one kind of cultural dimension versus what my parents and my older sister saw, just because obviously, as a child, you’re kind of, you know, drinking from a water hose at those ages trying to learn everything between you know, words and phrases, and how to kind of act like a just a normal human being, I guess that you know at a developmental age, and yeah, I think when I was growing up it, it came a lot more naturally than I would say that, and I would say, towards a lot, a lot of other immigrants that might have came a couple of years later, or later in their lives just because I was able to kind of start from square one And that really was all I knew. Again, want to still mention that, like, at the end of the day, I think it’s worth being worth having said that I do wish I kind of did Or in some phases, I do kind of wish I was able to experience that kind of bicultural childhood where I could, you know, be able to touch on both sides of it But for me, at least on a personal level, it never really came to fruition I think the most the most that really intersected was what was was on on, you know, the, I mean, I’m sorry like the vacations were on the Philippines is what I meant to say, I think is the most I kind of got immersed into that culture And that was obviously you know, a very temporary thing and we’re only really spending time with family and kind of trying to get to know them rather than actually, you know, taking in or learning any anything and get terms of like the language and stuff like that So yeah, very very one dimensional for me, even though I’ve not been born here but really to just get to experience it from from square one like I said so.

 

Maggie Corcoran  9:57 

do you have any You like, inside kind of knowledge about more of like the logistics side of it? Like in terms of like getting visas and like things like that, like, I don’t know, since again, you weren’t really like you. And this was all going down. So I don’t know, like how limited your knowledge is. But do you have anything, even like your parents Do you remember them doing anything or having to jump through like multiple hoops or anything like that when it comes to like the logistics of it?

 

Ferdinand Sityar  10:36 

Yeah, I think my dad was, to the best of my knowledge. It was my dad, who was like I mentioned earlier here for work and was originally on a work visa for the contracts that that took him on. And eventually in, I believe, is 2012. Is when my parents eventually received their US citizenship, which then naturalized the rest of my family, obviously, as dependents who are all of US citizens by then. But up until that age, so I guess that was 12 or 13 years old for me We were still Filipino citizens In the States, but obviously, I think it was, I think, I do believe it was a couple year process that likely began around 2009-2010, where they started beginning to try and gain citizenship to the US. And I think that was a different number of factors on things that I’ve mentioned, like, you know, making that eventual adjustment where they felt comfortable enough to know that they were going to, that they were going to settle down in the US and that, you know, the family was in a good spot to, um, continue that and eventually, up until adulthood, which we’ve done. So, I think, yeah, up until that point, somewhere I was granted citizenship up into. Yeah, I was 13 or 14. And since then, Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, I was just summarizing since then getting her US citizenship, and went from there. But I don’t remember anything super difficult about getting over obviously, there might have been when I was younger, before I was born, and the initial planning states or planning phases of it. But in terms of me actually growing up, I can’t recall a time or more citizenship or transfer that ever-had major issues, at least that I can, I can recall.

 

Maggie Corcoran  12:33 

you stated earlier, like, you’re older you have two older sisters. Do you notice any differences between how you kind of started at square one, versus they had like a little bit more of like, you know, they were in the Philippines a little bit longer than you had been? Have you ever noticed, like any differences and like experiences that you’ve shared? Like between them or like even your parents or anything like that? Yeah,

 

Ferdinand Sityar  13:10 

I think for sure, between my oldest sister Fiona, who’s, like I mentioned before, four years apart from me. So since she attended school in the Philippines, and kind of was already immersed in, like the education system before the States, I think her experience differed a lot from mine, just because I think some of the classes that she had to take in terms of English immersion, and I think there was some like, kind of like speech class, I believe that focused on like, specifically for people that had English as a second English as a second language, and focused on just your pronunciation, onyx of the language it all down to the very basics for that, and that’s, I’m, obviously I can remember that that’s something I’ve never had to take in my school years. So it all again, that being because I had never really immersed into that language at all. So that’s definitely one major difference that we had growing up. I think there’s also I think it’s also important to be said that she made that adjustment really well. She went through those classes and ended up obviously becoming a fluent English speaker. And almost been more successful with that since then, really just similar to my parents immersed into the culture and everything that was, you know, surrounding her super well, especially herself, not really being in control of any of the circumstances at her age around seven or eight years old. I think yeah, that’s definitely a testament so you know how much she’s grown the fact that you know, she’s still in the state and successful and thriving, so definitely a tougher time. For her, your childhood years, but that was probably the one major cultural difference. And that kind of I biggest kind of tile out my middle sister also went through similar programs not at the same level since she was just a year apart from me. But I think it kind of just Yeah, scales down lower and lower in terms of what kind of English version that you had until it gets down to me where I basically had been, since I was learning to speak for the first time under the English language. So yeah, I kind of just kind of all kind of revolves around, I guess, that language barrier, which I would assume to be the answer for most mom, especially at such a young age, it’s not really much, much else to adjust to was a person at that age, because, obviously, besides you know, school, family and others, you know, child things, you’re not really not really doing too much. In terms of like, your differences, like your parents who are, like us that are going to work every day and doing all these things in a completely different setting. And China? No, we adjust to that. Yeah.

 

Maggie Corcoran  16:13 

Um, how has your perspective on home and identity? How has it been changed since, you know, having this as like a background? You know, having your parents lived in a different country, and then kind of started a new life here? Like, how has that impacted your sense of home and identity?

 

Ferdinand Sityar  16:39 

Yeah, so I think I’ve definitely gotten the most impact from that from what I mentioned earlier. And that’s those occasional trips that we’ve had back to the Philippines. Over the years, I was fortunate enough to have a mother who worked for an airline, so she was able to have his travel back there, whenever possible, obviously, for them being aided today, they wanted to go as often as they could. So I think that we were able to go five or six times before I turned 18, which was really fortunate because I guess one thing I never mentioned earlier is that outside of the our family of five, between my mom, my dad, my sisters, and me, the rest of the city, our family, all still resides in the Philippines. So whenever we get a chance to visit, it’s essentially just a huge family reunion, being able to see everybody that we have another usually a couple of years. But I yeah, I think on those trips, when I was able to kind of, you know, visit their homes, sit down, eat dinner with them, you know, kind of just experience daily life, even if it’s even if it is just a glimpse of it, whether that’s you know, a week or two, I think that’s probably where I gained the most kind of perspective of the different cultures and between everything like the like just getting used to daily life and generally doing a lot of a lot more like walking or not having as much access to basic needs, like   you know, I don’t know, convenience, convenience stores down the street or, or, you know, whether it’s things that come to mind, like super easily here, like a lot of like fast food places even that we would never seen before don’t have access to that we have here or like gyms and such it was a very different lifestyle and all these things were available these like daily needs that I kind of have as a part of my lifestyle, but the way that they access them, there were just so different to me in terms of, you know, whether it was something you only ever did a couple times a year in terms of you know, going out to restaurants and such, um, just because of the income barrier as well. And that could be, you know, a whole topic of itself in terms of income, because it’s obvious that my dad came here largely because of the income increase that he would have seen for himself and obviously the support our family. And the way that kind of hinges on your lifestyle in the Philippines is is obvious when you compare to what we have in the States because like I said before, things don’t didn’t necessarily come as easily to the rest of us, the families they’re in such an experience and I just feel a little bit was, for lack of a better word, just like it’s a humbling experience and kind of helped me draw back to my roots and really understand you know, where it is I came from, and how it really got started and Um, you know, again, I’ll probably say much more times, but how fortunate I am to have been raised here. So,

 

Maggie Corcoran  20:06 

yeah, that’s awesome. I mean, definitely interesting, like how you share the differences that you see when you go back there? How you see them and can compare them to how you were raised and see the differences is really awesome. Um, what like, what would be do you have any advice for someone that would be in your shoes or like, someone you know, or like a family that would be considering moving somewhere different, like, what would be kind of like your biggest takeaway from your family’s history?

 

Ferdinand Sityar  20:55 

As simple as it sounds, I guess. I mean, I used before I say, I’ve been speaking on a lot of adjustments that other people have to make. And in terms of, you know, my older sister and my parents, I’ve been speaking a lot more on that than anything. So that’s kind of where this would come from, I guess, because I never once, once again, I never really had to do it. But kind of just be as tough at it. As tough as it is to say on like, on the surface level, and from me to you. But just to kind of, you know, be a specialist in how you approach some kind of new experience like this and almost treat it like a normal gesture that you’d make, to to things in your daily life, and whether that’s starting a new job or moving on from a relationship even. There’s so many like emotional, physical and mental thing, but mental barriers that you jump through for any kind of change. And I think something like immigrating to new country is just another one of those. So you may have more barriers, hoops to jump through and such like that one, when you’re talking about things like this, but at the same time, there’s a reason why it’s been done so many times, especially to our country, or especially from the Philippines to the US. And it’s because it’s possible. It’s  feasible for families, it’s provided for, for most of us, at least obviously can say that for everybody, but

 

has provided much more success than they would have had staying staying in thing in the Philippines or in their home country.

 

But yeah, I guess just harping back to really answer your questions is kind of just really go for it and, and be fearless with whatever you do. When you’re when you’re kind of moving to a new place. And I think my parents, that is about as well as anybody in terms of their willingness to learn new language, start a new job. You know, make new friends I think, is one thing I really haven’t mentioned too much. Obviously, they’re leaving behind, like I said, our entire family plus a whole network of friends and co workers and people that they all, you know, made the connection, but over the last 30 or 30, some years. So that that social barrier, I think is huge. And then if you’re able to kind of overcome that, and whether that was through learning the language as best as possible, or asking questions to everybody you meet that you can. And just, you know, making connections wherever you wherever possible, whether it be through work on your daily walks, or, you know, at restaurants, whatever it is being able to kind of be an open book. And I think I said this analogy earlier, but kind of drink from a water hose in terms of what your openness is to absorbing all the new, all the new things you’re about to see and see and understand. So like I said, my parents did a brilliant job with that I wouldn’t be anywhere without it. So yeah, I think that’s that’s pretty much what I got for that is a certain amount of fearlessness. You need to have to really, truly get after it, which wish I experienced would be I wish this was my family. So

 

Maggie Corcoran  24:19 

I really, really appreciate you taking the time out of your day and your work schedule to accommodate meeting with me. I definitely was able to gain a lot more insight and it was really cool to learn about your story and your family’s history. And I’m excited that the Jame you community gets to not only hear another story, but one from our own alum. So that’s really exciting. But yeah, I really appreciate you sharing your story. It was really awesome and interesting and definitely cool. put into perspective a lot of things that we’ve talked about in this class and yeah