Interview with Sylvia Anderson
Introduction:
For my interview project, I chose to interview Sylvia Anderson. Sylvia is my childhood best friend’s mom. She, her daughter and my best friend Natalie, and the entire family lived across the street from us for several years. I was at their house almost every single day. I always knew that Mrs. Anderson had grown up in Poland. I could tell from her thick accent and the types of food she would make Natalie and me for a snack, but I never really gave any thought to what that meant her life looked like before she settled in the United States with her family. That is until I thought of her for this interview. Because Natalie and I now go to schools in separate states, thousands of miles away from
each other, we haven’t been able to see each other as much as we used to. This interview took place in the Anderson’s home, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I was a little nervous before the interview started. I was scared it would be awkward because I hadn’t seen them in so long. However, from the moment I walked in the door, it felt so comfortable and familiar, after catching each other up on our lives, we began the conversation for the interview. I do not know what I was expecting to come from our conversation, but what I got was a story of determination to succeed in a new country, despite the obstacles in Sylvia’s way, and a firm belief that with hard work, anything is possible in the “land of opportunity” (Sylvia 00:21:00).
Interview Summary:
Life in Poland~
Sylvia grew up in Poland, in a city in the northwestern corner of the country called Szczecin, close to the Baltic Sea. While she remembers having a good childhood, now as an adult, she said she can see how hard her mother worked and struggled to provide for Sylvia and her brother. Sylvia explained that “as much as my mother was a doctor, um, she was struggling just as much as, a janitor that was cleaning the hospital” ( Sylvia, 00:03:00). This is because Poland was under Russian occupation during the time she grew up. Poland was under a communist regime so it was extremely difficult for adults to buy food and clothing for their families. Even though her mother was a highly respected doctor and her father was a marine engineer, they still struggled to provide for her. This sets the stage for her firm belief that hard work is the key to success much later in life once she moves to America.
During her childhood, she remembers Russia’s strong influence over Poland, describing that Russian soldiers were walking down the streets of her neighborhood, and Russian being taught in schools. She described the consequences of living under a communist regime as making “everything a little bit grayer” (Sylvia 00:02:00). She also said that because of this communist regime, the western influence and culture were very monitored, but growing up in high school, she knew that there was something more, and something better outside of Poland.
Sylvia’s first couple of years in the United States~
One thing that surprised me about Sylvia’s story was her decision to come to the United States. Many sociologists studying immigration have noticed that usually, the family all immigrates together, or the younger children go first, sending money back to their parents in their home country, and then bringing their parents and sponsoring them through their immigration journey. For Sylvia and her family, it was actually the opposite. Her mother was the first in her family to come to the United States to care for her godmother who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. At 16 years old, Sylvia was living very independently in Poland, finishing school, with her brother and father checking in on her every now and then. When she turned 18 and graduated high school, her mother invited her to come and stay with her in West Chester, New York for the summer. This is something that many immigrants experience when they first come to the United States. Many immigrants, like Sylvia, do not anticipate staying in the new country permanently. Many immigrants will come to the United States on a temporary work visa or a tourist visa and then decide to stay permanently once they arrive. Sylvia was not planning on staying in the United States permanently until her mother offered to sponsor her if she stayed, just a few days before she was supposed to fly back to Poland. “A couple of days before the plane ticket, um, was supposed to expire, my mother and my brother approached me and said, well, what do you think about staying here, you know, mom can sponsor you, you can apply for a green card” (Sylvia 00:10:00). 
When Sylvia first arrived in the United States, from the moment she stepped off the plane, not knowing a word of English, the culture shock began to set in. The heat and humidity were something that she had never experienced before, and as she sat in a taxi on her way to her mother’s house in West Chester, she did not have the best first impression of the United States. “the shocking thing to me, which I, we didn’t have in Poland at that time was, um, a lot of trash, a lot of graffiti. I remember on the way back from JFK, we were driving through Manhattan”. (Sylvia 00:12:00). Stepping beyond the Iron Curtain also meant an explosion of personal choice and freedom. Sylvia recalled the first time she was in an American grocery store and the amount of choice she had when choosing her groceries. “Here you’re buying things based on the brand that you like. In Poland, you had one, everything was government owned. So you had one type of milk, one type of yogurt, one type of bread, and that’s about it. So, I mean, the choices here were just shocking to me” (Sylvia 00:14:00).
Once she decided that she was going to stay in the United States more permanently, she said it took her about two years to feel comfortable in the United States. It took her about two years to feel very comfortable with the language as well as two years to get her green card and start school at Binghampton University. 
Another thing that surprised me about Sylvia’s immigration journey that differs from some other immigrant’s stories was when Sylvia and her brother decided to not live in the popular Polish enclave in Brooklyn, but rather live in an English-speaking neighborhood in Yonkers. This is not surprising for Sylvia. She expressed a couple of times in the interview how she was a competitive person. She acknowledged that life would have been much easier for her and her brother if they chose to live in the Polish neighborhood in Brooklyn, because then they would not have to learn English. However, Sylvia believed that if she was going to stay in the United States, she was going assimilate into American life. “So as much as there’s a huge Polish community in Brooklyn, in Greenpoint, um, that my brother and I could have easily moved to and just be very comfortable and live in a Polish community using the Polish language mostly. Um, I have a little bit of a competitive streak, and I wanted, if I’m going to live in this country, I’m going to learn the language” (Sylvia 00:16:00). These ethnic enclaves are just one of many parts of a network that help many immigrants get to the United States through familial connections or friendships. It is not uncommon to see families and friends who once lived across the street from each other in their home country also live across the street in the United States. Because the enclaves have a much higher density of one culture, supporting institutions begin to appear such as restaurants and churches that many people from that culture would attend. This is why Sylvia said that her immigration process would have been much easier if she chose to live in the Polish neighborhood in Brooklyn, everyone would have spoken the same language, and the foods would have been familiar. However, Sylvia wanted to fully assimilate into American culture.
Becoming comfortable in the United States~
Around this time is also when Sylvia began to realize the value of hard work in America. This is a common belief held by many immigrants in what many people refer to as the “American Dream”; that in America, if you set your mind to something, and you are determined enough and willing to put in the work, success will follow”. Sylvia certainly took this to heart as she was adjusting to life in America, saying, “I moved to this country and I, I’m a fairly impatient person and took a lot of patience to learn the language and things like that, but I, I always had some type of a plan ahead. I wasn’t just sitting stagnant feeling sorry for myself, oh, I’m in this new country and I’m so miserable, and all my friends are in Poland, and it’s so depressing, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I figured out what I wanted to do next and what was after that. And so my goal was to kind of be like other young people in this country, well, what do they do? Okay, they go to college, well, I wanna go to college…So that was my plan, and that was the goal that I was working towards…What’s after the four years? Well, I gotta get a job. Yeah. I wanna get a job at a, a really good firm or, or, you know, so I got a, a job at a benefits consulting firm. You know, I always had some type of a life plan and some goals ahead of myself, and I think it just kept me focused and not just sitting there feeling sorry for myself because life was not easy. It was hard. But, um, but my goals and my plans kept me going” ( Sylvia, 00:37:00).
This great mentality didn’t mean that Sylvia didn’t encounter challenges because she was an immigrant, even after she became comfortable living in and navigating the United States. One of the biggest examples of this we talked about was balancing her Polish culture and heritage and the American culture while she was raising her children. However, with Sylvia’s mentality, this was a challenge she was able to overcome with the help of her mother, helping to keep the Polish culture alive, as well as her American-born husband helping to immerse their children in the American culture.
Becoming a United States citizen~
Like many other immigrants, immigration and becoming a citizen is a family decision. Sylvia admitted that she was content with her green card and didn’t see the need to become a citizen of the United States. However, in 2012 her husband Eric pushed her to finalize her citizenship mainly for their children. As her children were getting older and getting closer to voting age, she began to have political discussions, she wanted to show her kids the importance of having your voice heard, and this was done through gaining her citizenship, which she described as a very easy process. Because she had lived in the United States for so long. Nevertheless, she explained how excited she was to participate in her first election after she became a citizen in 2012.
Conclusion:
I think Sylvia’s life story gives her an interesting perspective and outlook on life. Because she grew up in a communist regime where people would struggle to provide for their families no matter how hard they worked, you can tell she really values and has faith in the idea that if you work hard enough, you can do anything you set your mind to. Something that she felt the new generation has lost touch with. Coming from this newer generation, I can see this mentality all around me. Many people my age don’t have much faith in the idea that one’s hard work can turn into a great success. I think a lot of people in my generation are critical of this ideology and would rather see a more socialist system in its place. However, Sylvia’s experiences are a great example of how that system might backfire and result in a communist regime, that is worse than the capitalist economy we live in today.
I also think many parts of her personality can be attributed to her journey as an immigrant. For example, Sylvia is an extremely outgoing, friendly, and talkative person. For as long as I have known her, she has been able to strike up a conversation with complete strangers. I have always thought that this was just a part of her personality, but as she mentioned in the interview, she had to be outgoing and extroverted when she first came to the United States to make connections and ask for help when she was still learning English and adjusting to the culture. She is also incredibly active on social media and on sites like Facebook. Again, I thought that this was just another part of her personality because she was a social person, however, this also stems from her story as an immigrant. She still has family and friends in Poland and is extremely grateful that social media has given her the opportunity to stay in touch with them and stay updated on their lives.
Learning more about Sylvia’s life as an immigrant has shown me just how much of an impact international migration can have on someone’s life. In both big things like learning a new language, applying for citizenship, and learning how to balance cultures while raising kids, and in small things like being self-conscious of an accent, staying active on social media, and having a preference for math in school. Sylvia’s journey of immigration also gave her her faith in the idea of hard work. She has clearly never been afraid of working hard for what she wants and to reach her goals. This outlook on life can be seen through her children, who all have worked extremely hard in their academic careers to help them succeed in their own lives. Immigration is all around us and we can see how much it affects our society, even if we ourselves are not immigrants through stories like Sylvia’s.
SOCI 318 INTERVIEW
Catherine: [00:00:00] Okay, so that’s recording. So we will
Sylvia: Hello.
Catherine: Get started. So this is my interview with Sylvia Anderson about her life, and how it intersects with, immigration. So we can get started. My first question is just asking you a little bit about your life. Um, you grew up in, you were born and grew up in Poland.
Sylvia: Yes.
Catherine: Um, so if you could just tell me a little bit about that.
Sylvia: Sure. Um, I was born in Poland, March 23rd, 1970. Now you can figure out how old I am. . Uh, my maiden name is actually Zalevska um, I was, Born in a city about two and a half hours from Berlin called Szczecin, also known Stetsien as it used to belong to Germany before the Second World War.
So it was right on the border where Germany and also, uh, fairly close to the Baltic Sea.
Catherine: Okay.
Sylvia: Uh, it, it’s in, um, on the, on the kind of a, um, southern, southern part of Gulf of Szczecin . Uh, my father was a marine engineer. [00:01:00] My mother was a doctor. Uh, my parents divorced when I was three years old, but that’s a whole other story.
The life in Poland when I was a child. Um, Was, uh, not easy from the parent’s perspective, but I do say that I had a fairly good childhood. You just don’t know any better. Um, so although from what I know from my mother, it was not easy to provide for the family, especially as a single parent. Um, it was, I grew up, um, during the, the communist regime.
There was a very strong Russian influence over Poland. Uh, it was not easy for adults to, you know, buy food, buy clothing. Um, the, you know, as a child, I was as, there was food on the table and I was provided for her. So that’s all that matter to me, but, [00:02:00] Hearing stories that my mother tell you kind of now as a parent, I get that different perspective of how difficult it was.
Um, you know, when I was growing up. Uh, the, the Western influence, the marketing was nonexistent in Poland, so, um, everybody was kind of dressed alike. Uh, factories were government owned, so, you know, kind of a uniform clothing was being produced. And, um, it’s, it kind of makes everything a little bit grayer, but then there is not as much of uh, I guess, um, financial competition either, right? Because everybody’s kind of in the same boat. So as, as much as my mother was a doctor, um, she was struggling just as much as a, a janitor that was cleaning the hospital . You know what I mean?
Catherine: Yeah, absolutely.
Sylvia: Um, so it, it’s, I always bring it [00:03:00] up with the kids that the sad thing about the communism, was that it doesn’t matter how much effort you put into the hard work and education , you were kind of in the same boat as everybody else. Whether they put the same effort or not. . You know? ,
Catherine: yeah, you mentioned post World War II in Poland. Tell me, tell me a little bit more about that.
Sylvia: So funny that you ask cause I, the, the World War II. That, that history, even though it was 1970s, I was born in 1970, the history was very present when I was growing up. Um, the, the movies, the TV show, there was a huge influence and that memory of the history from prior 30 years was very much alive, um, there were signs, post-war signs. There were still 30 years after the second World War ended. There were still present in the city that [00:04:00] I grew up in, uh, you know, down the street from, uh, the townhouse that my parents had, um, there was literally a bunker as part of a park, um, that, you know, I remember as a child passing by and seeing like the doors to the bunker. you know.
Catherine: Wow.
Sylvia: So it’s, it’s crazy. Uh, but it, that history was so present, I remember watching a show, uh, you know, in this black and white TV growing up that was very much of like, uh, historically World War II themed, um, I, I wish I, I could translate it into English, but it was basically about four soldiers and a dog.
It was a story of their adventures, you know, during the German occupation. Yeah. So it’s amazing to realize that 30 years after the war, that was still very much alive.
Catherine: Mm-hmm.
Sylvia: In Poland. Yeah. And in that section of. Um, you know, I, [00:05:00] I’m sure you know a lot about history and, and what was going on in Poland at that time, but, um, after the second World War, Poland was essentially under the Russian occupation.
So there was a lot of Russian soldiers, especially on the western border of Poland. And because I grew up two and a half hours from Berlin, you know, right on the border with Germany, I mean, we literally about half an hour from the border. Um, we, there were a lot of Russian soldiers stationed in that area.
So you could walk around the city and run into Russian soldiers walking around the city. And um, when I was growing up, people in the city view that negatively.
Catherine: Okay.
Sylvia: They did not like having that Russian military presence on the border of Poland. We, they, they wanted Russian soldiers to go back to Russia.
Cause we Polish people felt like they were still being occupied even though war was over for so many years. I [00:06:00] remember being a teenager and having that memory of watching Russian soldiers walking around the city. My city.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: You know, I could hear Russian language. Russian language was, um, being taught in school and I don’t mind languages.
I’ve always loved languages, so I actually learned that pretty well, but from fifth grade through the end of high school, that was, that was your second language that was being taught. So you had the Polish literature and you had the Russian language.
Catherine: Wow.
Sylvia: You know, and then you could pick up another language, you know, if you wanted to. So my brother was studying German and I could pick up English, even though it wasn’t, it wasn’t really well taught, but yeah. There was definitely a strong Russian influence post Second World War in Poland.
Catherine: Wow. And like 25, 30 years after for it to be so fresh in your mind is remarkable.
Sylvia: It’s incredibly, incredibly fresh in my mind.
Like I remember it like it was yesterday. Just because, you know, as a child you watch adults and you look up to them and you [00:07:00] watch, their views on certain things and, and you listen to what they’re talking about. And I remember adults in my life were very unhappy with having that Russian presence in Poland, and I think, you know, that’s one of the reasons why eventually the the, the communism in Poland just completely collapsed and the, the socialism and communism was replaced with, uh, with a democratic system and, and a bit more of a, capitalistic influence, which, um, , was definitely welcome. That happened after I left. So I left in 1988. And I believe um, the change in Poland occurred in 89 or 1990, right around that time.
So it was shortly after I moved to, to the States.
Catherine: Okay. So you mentioned 88, so you were 18 when you left.
Sylvia: I was 18. I was just old enough to realize what was going on and have [00:08:00] strong and vivid memories of my childhood, but young enough to still be able to, um, I guess, establish, uh, an adult life here in the States.
Catherine: Yeah. So tell me a little bit more, um, when you immigrated and
Sylvia: Yeah.
Catherine: Why, why you chose to, to immigrate.
Sylvia: So, um, my story, um, is, is kind of interesting. So as, as I mentioned to you, my parents divorced, which, which is actually a very unusual occurrence in Poland, but my mother is a, a very strong lady, um, and so she was unhappy in the relationship when I was little, she just grabbed the kids, two suitcases and ended up moving out. Um, Years later, um, even though she was a doctor in Poland, very, very well respected when I was in high school, she was really not happy with her life. So, um, and her godmother lived here in the States, um, ended up being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
They [00:09:00] really wanted to have someone and, and she didn’t have any children. So my mother was the closest to a daughter that she’s ever had being, being the goddaughter. And so my mother ended up coming, um, and, and assisting her godmother with the care and the medical, um, help and, uh, with the multiple, I mean, that’s, that disease is, is debilitating.
Um, so she ended up coming here and they ended up sponsoring her stay and she ended up getting her permanent residency that way. So she left, and you know, I ended up being a very independent young teenager at 16. Uh, pretty much living on my own in Poland. My brother was there and my father was there checking in on me, but I pretty much lived by myself.
So, uh, fortunately I was a very good girl, so I didn’t do, I didn’t do anything that I shouldn’t be doing. I still went to high school and went to school and graduated. And I also [00:10:00] had a very, very good group of friends, um, high school and, and we can talk a little bit more about the educational system, but I’m a huge fan of how the educational system was designed in Poland, um, and how focused it was on, on really young maturity and growth. But, um, so when I was turning eighteen and graduating from high school, my mother said, well, why don’t you just come for the summer? Take a look around. Maybe you’ll like it here. Well, we really didn’t talk about, like me liking there.
I was supposed to come for the summer and then go back to Poland. And um, literally couple of days before the plane ticket, um, was supposed to expire, my mother and my brother approached me and said, well, what do you think about staying here, you know, mom can sponsor you, you can apply for a green card.
You’re 18 years old, so it’s going to be a little easier, you know, bridging the families and stuff like that. So I remember it was a grueling [00:11:00] process, a lot of paperwork, a lot of visits to the immigration office, a lot of document tracking, um, and I, I ended up staying, um, you know, my mother was my closest family member. My brother also decided to stay, and, and she was also sponsoring him. So, um, she did get married, um, right before we, we arrived. So, I mean, there was a lot of family changes at that time. Long story short, you know, we, uh, we, both my brother and I both ended up staying, um, it took about two years for me to get a green card,
Catherine: okay.
Sylvia: Um, and learn the language enough that I was comfortable thinking about perhaps, you know, taking that next step and going to get my college degree. Um, so yeah, that, that’s basically a story of my arrival.
Catherine: Yeah. , I would love to hear [00:12:00] more about like those first couple years where you were kind of picking up the language and Yeah.
Sylvia: So, so I’ll I will tell you a little bit about my first moment of touching down at JFK, July 15th, 1988. So it was an extremely hot day and I was wearing a jeans and a t-shirt . And I have never experienced a heat like this anywhere. Poland, because May, perhaps because, um, we lived close enough to the Baltic coast was never as hot, and even the heat was fairly dry.
Um, so yeah, I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and I thought I was going to die when I got out of JFK. Um, the, the shocking thing to me, which I, we didn’t have in Poland at that time was, um, a lot of trash, a lot of graffiti. I remember on the way back from jfk, we were driving through Manhattan. I don’t know why we took that route up to Westchester, where my mother lived [00:13:00] and I remember passing by for the second street and watching, uh, the, uh, the, the, the ladies very, uh, scandidly dressed ladies walking around the midday right. It was for an 18 year old coming from, um, you know, behind the Iron Curtain. Yeah, it was, it was a bit shocking.
Catherine: Absolutely.
Sylvia: So my first impression of the United States was not the greatest.
Um, but I, I understood that, um, you know, the, the country definitely grew on me as I got to know. I mean, my first, my first experience going to the grocery store was absolutely shocking.
Catherine: Mm-hmm.
Sylvia: I have never seen so many different varieties of cheeses or milks. Like, what do you mean you have more than one brand of milk?
Mm-hmm.
there’s milk and that’s it. no, you have 20 different milks to choose from. It was mindboggling to me. You know, in Poland you had one [00:14:00] type of bread and one type of milk and one type of cheese, and you know, if you wanted yogurt, it, it was one type of yogurt, perhaps different flavors, but you didn’t have the varieties of brands that are being offered here in the states. Here you’re buying things based on the brand that you like. In Poland, you had one, everything was government owned. So you had one type of milk , one type of yogurt, one type of bread, and that’s about it. So, I mean, the, the choices here were just shocking to me.
Um, so those are kind of the first memories that I’ve had. Um, but the, um, you know, it, it took, it, it took a while to, um, get accustomed to the way of life here. You know, it, it definitely took a while. So I, I remember my mother signing me up for an English as a second language class in, in White Plains, and I met some other [00:15:00] immigrants and I, I started learning the language a little by little, but I think I learned it mostly like a, um, a, a child would learn the language, lot of listening. Lot of watching tv. I mean, I watched a lot of TV shows that initially didn’t make sense to me , but then eventually through the repetition and absorption and like seeing what was happening on the screen, you kind of connect the dots.
So that was extremely helpful. And then eventually, I started gaining a little bit more courage and, and perhaps starting the conversation and understanding a little bit. I made a, a connection with some friends from Poland, um, that were here. Actually one friend from my high school that immigrated right around the same time that lived in Brooklyn.
Um, and there was another family that was extremely helpful with, yeah, just helping me navigate the college application process. Yeah. Everything was done on paper , it wasn’t just pushing the buttons on the computer. [00:16:00] Um, but it was, a lot of it was just networking, um, getting to know people. It was very important to kind of come out of your shell and make an effort. Um, so as much as there’s a huge Polish community in Brooklyn, in Greenpoint, um, that my brother and I could have easily moved to and just be very comfortable and live in a Polish community using Polish language mostly. Um, I have a little bit of a competitive streak, and I wanted, if I’m going to live in this country, I’m going to learn the language.
Catherine: Mm-hmm.
Sylvia: if I’m going to live in this country, I’m going to do what I can to try to be successful in this country. And I. I think a lot of immigrants that are coming here for the right reasons have that mentality. Um, but then there are some that just want to live in the immigrant, in the, like the Polish community or, or Spanish community, and they just want to assimilate in that, but that wasn’t me. Um, so we didn’t live in the Polish community. [00:17:00] We lived in, in Westchester. And um, remember my brother and I were renting, uh, a little place actually in Yonkers, New York. Not the best area, I would not want my kids to live there, but that’s all that we could afford. Um, and, uh, you know, it, it worked out well, so it took, took about two years for me to be really comfortable, comfortable enough with English. And again, as I mentioned, you know, my mother couldn’t help me with college applications , but through friends that I had, there was a family that was going through college application process and, um, the Scarbinski family, and they helped guide me through it.
So I applied to only one school and fortunately I had decent grades in high school. I had to get everything translated. I applied to Binghamton University. I had a TOEFL exam instead of submitted instead of English SATs. Uh, the TOEFL is for the, the foreigners. [00:18:00] English as the second language. So that replaced my English score because my English score was still not the greatest. My math score was great though, was like I had like 770 or something with my math score. So, um, I’ve always been a bit of a math geek. And I think that helped because math is an international language. So it’s the same in every language . So I think you, you’re um, you definitely can succeed a little bit more if you, you know, have that, um, to focus on.
So anyway, um, yeah, I ended up going to Binghamton for four years, got my college degree there.
Catherine: Yeah. Um, I know you mentioned at the beginning that, um, You, there wasn’t a lot of like Western influence as a child.
Sylvia: Mm-hmm. .
Catherine: So when you came to the United States, did you have any like, preconceived notions of the US and did those like kind of match up or did they,
Sylvia: so, so, uh, when I was growing up in Poland, um, [00:19:00] the, the, I mean obviously at certain point you realize what’s outside of your country, what’s out there. Um, you know, my father was a marine engineer, so he actually traveled abroad a lot. Um, and every now and then I would get a gift or my brother, my, my father ended up taking my brother along one of his trips cause he was a, an officer on the, on the ship. So he took my brother along. It was very, very difficult to leave Poland, the borders were shut down and you could not really get out , the government controlled everything. Um, it must have been extremely frustrating for adults living there. But so my brother, I remember my brother went out on a trip with my father and brought me this like funky sweatshirt and some white boots and oh my gosh, I was styling. I was definitely standing out in the crowd. I think I still have a photo from my high school where I’m like front and center wearing [00:20:00] that sweatshirt that says, Cool Cat on it. It was the coolest thing ever. So I mean, you, you realize very quickly what’s out there, even though government censored everything.
So the, the Western influence was very monitored. People are very creative and people are very smart and they’ll very quickly figure. We’re being deprived, especially those that. You know, are working hard, are very ambitious, and are hoping for a better life, they are going to very quickly figure out, you know, there’s something wrong in here.
What’s out there? What’s going on out there? So eventually as an older teenager, I would know exactly what was going on and what was out there. And people were talking about, you know, having families in England and having families in the states, the US was definitely like the promised land. It was [00:21:00] the land of opportunity.
And I mean, I just, I still looking back at my life and looking where I am now, um, I can understand why. You know what I mean? I can certainly understand why it was not easy, um, to get here, but it was, it was definitely worth it.
Catherine: Wow. So when you, when you came to the United States, did you know that you were kind of gonna be here permanently? Did you anticipate going back to Poland?
Sylvia: No, I was, I was a little nervous. Um, I anticipated they’re going to go, that, I’m going to go back to Poland. One of the things that, um, as, as every teenager I miss the most is my friends. Um, you know, keep in mind that social media was nonexistent at that time. So my friends were my pack were my family, especially since my mother was already in the States and my father was, you know, checking in on me every two weeks or so. My brother was living his own life. [00:22:00] You know, he was a student at Polytechnic University in, in Szczecin. So, um, my friends were my, my family. Um, leaving them behind was extremely hard.
Um, so I remember initially we would write letters and, um, And, and that lasted for a bit, but then I, I felt like we did lose touch for a while. It, it was, that was probably the hardest part. But, you know, Natalie, every now and then will joke that, um, I’m, I’m very outgoing and I’m very talkative, but a lot of it is kind of a, a forced, um, kind of a tool that I developed, um, because I, I needed to kind of create my family here, create my network of people, find my people here in this, in this country, because I left all my closest people back there.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: Um, now it’s, it’s, and I don’t get to travel to Poland [00:23:00] very often, you know, it’s an expensive proposition and, uh, you know, I, I have a full time job, so it’s hard to get away. Uh, I wish I could go there more often, especially now. Poland has changed so much since I’ve left. , I mean, obviously it’s, it’s no longer the same country that I left behind.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: Now it, it is very much like a land of opportunity as well. Even though I heard, I hear that taxes are ridiculous, but, um, but at least I get to keep, um, in touch with everyone over social media. I just found out that this past weekend, one of my best friends from high school, his son got married, you know, so he posted on Facebook and I was, I was able to congratulate them and it’s kind of, it’s kind of nice to be able to do that. So I still keep in touch with some friends from high school.
You know, Derek was one of the closest ones, so I keep in touch with him. Uh, social media, definitely bridged that gap for me. You know, I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m so active on it.
Catherine: [00:24:00] Mm-hmm.
Sylvia: Just because I, I have, you know, still family in Poland and friends in Poland . That I really would like to feel like I’m connected to.
Catherine: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Um, bit of a shift. Um, yeah. At what point did you, I you kind of mentioned two years, um, did you begin to feel comfortable, like as a resident in the United states?
Sylvia: Um, So it took two years for me to get a green card, and once I got a green card, I felt fairly comfortable.
Catherine: Mm-hmm.
Sylvia: Um, you know, again, it, it took two years to learn the language. It took two years to, for me to get a green card. And I know I was fortunate cuz I, I got here when I was 18 , so based on the laws at the time, um, that age, you know, I was able, I guess the laws were a little bit more lenient at that time for 18 year old. Coming in, um, to join the parent. Um, so yeah, I, I, I, it took, you [00:25:00] know, when you’re young, when you’re that age you adapt a little easier, you know, I was able to get my driver’s license and, you know, my, my brother, thank goodness figured out some kind of a car for me to drive. You know, once you get that independence , um, I think it life becomes a little bit easier, even though I still missed Poland terribly.
I know before I went off to to Binghamton, uh, for my freshman year, my parents, uh, sent me back to Poland for the summer just to kind of reconnect with my friends and I had such a great summer and my best friend was at my side and we, you know, we traveled a little bit and we had a little bit of fun. Um, but yeah, it was about two years, you know?
Catherine: Yeah. Um, so kind of fast forward a little bit.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Catherine: What was your experience like raising kids who were born and raised in the United States? Was there ever like a cultural kind of [00:26:00] divide that you kind of had to walk.
Sylvia: Um, well, yeah, cuz my mother is still very much involved . Um, so, uh, you know, I, I, um, when I was in college I babysat a little bit, so I started learning a little bit about how things are done here in the states and you know, I, I really didn’t have much experience being the youngest really in the family. I didn’t have much experience with babies back in Poland, so I really learned everything that I kind of wanted to follow here in the States. And I think that was helpful. One of the regrets I have is that my children don’t speak Polish.
Um, I think we, we should have paid a little bit more attention to. Uh, but, um, Samantha, our oldest, um, was fairly shy introvert, and being the, the first grandchild on both sides of the family, she was very much catered to. So, you know, she pointed [00:27:00] and she, she got what she wanted. She really didn’t have to talk early. So we were all worried that the two languages are going to confuse her. And, um, you know, Eric doesn’t speak Polish and he’s a, um, actively participating hands on dad , you know, he coached every sport on the planet, whether he was good at it or not. I mean, he was, he was always extremely involved with the kids.
Yeah. So I think, um, that kind of brought more of a, a US or American child rearing as opposed to polish, but we still kept some Polish traditions. you know, Christmas Eve, um, is extremely important, um, in, in our family and that’s very much of a, a Polish holiday. Uh, You know, we opened presents most of the presents on Christmas Day, but there’s some presents for Christmas Eve.
You know, Baba would make a big polish feast with pierogis and everything had to be [00:28:00] vegetarian cause you don’t eat meat on Christmas Eve. Yes. Um, you know, and then there’s the, uh, Poland, um, it’s extremely Catholic. And I, that’s, that’s what I, that’s the religion I grew up with, and, and that brings those Catholic traditions, uh, into the life.
So, you know, St. Elizabeth Seton is right down the street , and that’s the church we attended. So there’s there’s a lot of that. Uh, and you know, there’s Bartlet Street Super ette the Polish deli in Manchester that I, that I visit, um, frequently, at least before every holiday. So whether you know, Easter or Christmas we pop into Bartlet Street Superette to restock on some Polish goodies. So it’s definitely good to have.
Catherine: Yeah. Love. Yeah. Um, what was it like, um, kind of navigating your relationship with. Mr. Anderson, when you guys first started dating?
Sylvia: Um, well, because I already had, you know, four years of college, I, I considered myself a little [00:29:00] bit more Americanized. Um, one of the things I have to tell you, and I completely, honestly, is, um, there were several years where I felt very insecure about my, my English, and yes, I know people would politely say, oh, you have an accent. Oh, where you from? Why, you have an accent. And I was, I would feel at times when if I said something, if I pronounce something incorrectly, I sounded like an idiot. And that was kind of made you feel a little bit self-conscious at times. Now, right now, living here for so many years, I don’t feel that self-conscious anymore, and I do a lot of talking for a living, you know, being in a position that I’m in, at the company that I’m at I lead a lot of conference calls and I lead a lot of meetings and, um, you know, and I, and I record some training sessions for people, so I’ve heard my voice enough to know that I sound well educated, and [00:30:00] I can actually have a conversation with an executive and I’m totally fine. But initially, given the fact that I didn’t speak English when I moved to this country, I felt there were times when I felt very self-conscious.
Catherine: Mm-hmm.
Sylvia: And you know, every now and then, Natalie, Scott or Samantha will correct my pronunciation and at this point it doesn’t bother me as much, but there were times when it. When it, it kind of made me feel like, oh gosh, what did I just say? What did I just say? How did I say it? How did that sound? You know, kind of in the back of your mind, you, you check yourself now with Eric. I mean, he’s, he is a wonderful husband, a wonderful father, and, and a phenomenal guy and you know, he. He was an American and, um, extremely good looking . And so, I mean, and, and it, we just hit it off so quickly. I don’t think me being an immigrant was ever a factor.
Catherine: Mm. I love that. Yeah. [00:31:00] Um, so very much flash forward. Um, you recently became a citizen a few years ago you started the naturalization.
Sylvia: It’s been like about 10 years.
Catherine: No way.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Catherine: I could have sworn that was like four or five years ago.
Sylvia: Yeah. Now you guys were in middle, like middle school. Yeah.
Catherine: Oh my goodness.
Sylvia: Yeah. I remember the whole family, the whole family went to the courthouse in Concord.
Catherine: Wow. Yeah. Okay. So not a few years ago. Several years ago, yes. Um, so what led you to to that decision to, to become a citizen?
Sylvia: Um, I actually never felt pressure or a need. Um, It was, I, I think it was more Mr. Anderson driving the process. To be honest with you, Eric was very much of a, you know, if you are living in this country, you should have a voice in this country.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: You know, we have a son, God forbid, [00:32:00] political situation will be shifting. You should have a voice, you should be able to vote and make your vote count. Um, so, and I, I totally get it. I, I, I never really felt the need, um, being here as a permanent resident was sufficient for me, minus the right to vote.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: So, um, but I, I do understand that, um, you know, as our children were getting older and they were being affected by the political situation and they were having political views and we were getting into discussions. I couldn’t really voice my opinion as much if I wouldn’t be the one saying, okay, well my vote counts . Uh, I think it became important enough that I, I said, you know what? This, this makes sense. Let me study for that exam. Yeah. And take the test and see. But I remember we were sitting on Hawk drive actually, and Eric was quizzing me. Yeah. So, yeah.
Catherine: What was that, what was that process like? Was it?
Sylvia: Oh gosh. So easy [00:33:00] because I’ve lived in this country long enough , um, and I spoke English well enough. That by the time I actually went in for the interview and had to take the. The, the, the person who was interviewing me was just, you know, I guess pleasantly surprised, saying, oh, okay, well two questions done. Yeah. You passed. Here’s your, here’s your citizenship. It was, it was, it was a lot easier.
Catherine: Wow.
Sylvia: Than I anticipated. The one thing that got me a little , little frustrated, and I was joking about it, I think I posted something about it on social media, is, you know that there’s this beautiful immigration facility in Bedford, right? I think it’s, it’s right near where Walmart used to be in, in Bedford.
Catherine: Okay.
Sylvia: Yes. Beautiful. You know, brick building, you know, lots of flat screen TVs and stuff. I was the only person in this huge waiting room. I was the only person. I’m thinking to myself, taxpayer dollars at work, [00:34:00] there’s nobody here.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: There were just couple of security guards that had nothing to do, because I was the only one there and the entire time I was there, I was the only person there, and I’m thinking myself, it’s little wasteful. This facility could be used for something a little more important.
Catherine: Yeah, for Bedford, New Hampshire, which does not, get a lot of immigrants through here.
Sylvia: No, I mean, build something in Manchester for that.
Catherine: Absolutely.
Sylvia: I bet that facility would be a lot better utilized there.
Catherine: Yeah.
Sylvia: But there, there was nobody there. So I remember taking a picture of the waiting room that I was sitting in this huge waiting room that was completely empty. I think I posted it on social media with the hashtag taxpayer dollars at work. That’s just, yeah. I mean, it was, it was just a little ridiculous. Yeah. But, but that was just my little comment, my, my memory. From me applying or going through the, the test and the interview for citizenship . [00:35:00]
Catherine: Um, so if there was any part of your experience of, you know, coming to a new country, um, that you would change or maybe any piece of advice that you would give to your younger self before you started this whole journey, what would it be?
Sylvia: Um, well, you know, I look at my life right now as having, a fairly, you know, I mean, it’s not that my life is ending, but I, I, I love where I am now. You know, happy, happily married, three awesome kids, living in a really nice house in Bedford, New Hampshire, you know, with a dog . Um, as, as a kid coming in here, I just, um, I was tough enough, fortunately, to be able to kind of go with the flow and roll with the punches, cause life isn’t easy and sometimes you have to just buckle down and go after what you want. [00:36:00] Um, and it took a lot of hard work and it took a lot of hardship and I was fortunate enough that I never just sat there and felt sorry for myself.
Um, so, and, and so I don’t have any regrets per se? You know, it’s, I don’t know what my life would’ve been like had I stayed in Poland. Um, but, and it’s, it’s perhaps my generation, and don’t take it as a criticism, but, um, I, you know, I hear a lot about kids, um, not liking their lives and just not being happy and, and, you know, and, and the way, when I look back at my life, I think to myself, happiness is what you put into. You get the happiness that you, that you work for. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. , you put the work in and you get out of life what you put into it. So if you’re unhappy about something, [00:37:00] change it. You know, work for it and change it because nobody’s going to do it for you.
Yeah. Um, so I really didn’t take, I didn’t sit around, I had those, the, the plan, you know? Yeah. I moved to this country and I, I’m a fairly impatient person and took a lot of patience to learn the language and things like that, but I, I always had some type of a plan ahead. I wasn’t just sitting stagnant feeling sorry for myself, oh, I’m in this new country and I’m so miserable, and all my friends are in Poland, and it’s so depressing, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I figured out what I wanted do next and what’s after that. And so my goal was to kind of be like other young people in this country, well, what do they do? Okay, they go to college. , well, I wanna go to college. You know what I mean? So that was my plan, and that was the goal that I was working towards.
And then when I got to college, I was a 21 year old freshman. I was, I guess, mature enough to [00:38:00] appreciate where I am and that those two years, that’s why I’m a big fan of, of a gap here, even though my kids wouldn’t take one, but I think I was mature enough to know, okay, oh my gosh, I got, I got there. I’m so thrilled. I accomplished that goal. Now I have to get through the next four years and do it really well. Okay. What’s after the four years? Well, I gotta get a job. Yeah. I wanna get a job at a, a really good firm or, or, you know, so I got a, a job at a benefits consulting firm. You know, I always had some type of a life plan and some goals ahead of myself, and I think it just kept me focused and not just sitting there feeling sorry for myself because life was not easy. It was hard. But, um, but my goals and my plans kept me going so, Um, yeah, it’s my best advice to young people right now is just like, look, look ahead , don’t look back. You [00:39:00] know, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Just, just keep applying forward.
Have some type of goals. Have something to look forward to. And that will keep you going to that next level. And then once you meet that goal, figure out another one. You know what I mean? Whether it’s a trip you wanna take, just plan something out, have something to look forward to. And that’s when kind of your life focus shifts from, eh, you know, it’s snowing. I’m not happy right now. I’m not feeling good about myself. You know what, do something about it. You know?
Catherine: Wow. That’s great advice.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Catherine: Um, I think those are all the questions I have.
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