Interview with Gricelda Flores
Introduction
Throughout the course of the semester, we have learned the various reasons as to why people immigrate to a new country, for this class specifically we talked about immigration in the United States. A way that we could apply our knowledge and really analyze the significance of immigration after learning the course content was by interviewing someone who immigrated to the US. For this project I decided to interview my mom, Gricelda Flores, who moved to the US from Mexico more than twenty years ago. I know a bit about my mom’s story here in this country, but one of my takeaways from the interview was learning how she really felt through this major transition. As I have grown up I have truly begun to realize the sacrifices my mom has made in order for my brothers and I to have a better chance at life in this country where at times, she was not always welcomed because of where she came from.
We touch on my mom’s general background information in the beginning of the interview, but I think it is important to mention as it is what has made her the person she is today. She was born and raised in a small town in Mexico where the opportunity to “succeed” was very slim and there weren’t many opportunities to advance in a specific career field. Along with being one of ten children in a family it does not make it easy to have enough food on the table for everyone. Despite these hardships my mom says that she loved her time in Mexico and really enjoyed her childhood with all her siblings and family. At some point in high school my parents met, and it was love at first sight, and after dating for a while my parents decided to get married and wanted to give the US a shot. My mom was pulled to this country for many reasons and throughout the interview I try to dig deeper as to why she decided to move here and ultimately stay and create a better life for her family.
Methodology
The interview took place over Thanksgiving break in person at our home. This isn’t the first time I interviewed my mom for a project, last semester I took HIST 313 which revolved around the history of Latinos in the US, and I interviewed my mom and dad about traditions from their hometown in Mexico. Because of that previous interview, I believe that made her feel more comfortable in this type of setting since we were having a more formal conversation instead of our normal, casual conversations. However, I do believe we were still a bit nervous in the beginning but recording in the comfort of our home definitely made us feel more relaxed as the interview went on.
Since I know a bit of her immigration story there were some questions that I asked that I may have already known the answer to. Because of this I really had to think outside the box with questions that would lead to a deeper connection to the content we learned in class. On the flip side there were areas that I did not press too much, or consider, in asking since I know they are sensitive subjects to talk about and did not want to make her feel uncomfortable. After coming up with my questions to ask her, I shared them with her so she could look them over to get an idea on what types of questions I would be asking and get a feel for where the interview was heading. I also made it clear to her that she did not have to answer a question that she did not feel comfortable answering, but she was fine with all the questions I prepared.
Analysis
For this interview I really wanted to capture the emotions my mom felt when immigrating to this country, so a majority of the questions I asked revolved around how she felt in the beginning along with how she felt as time went on. One of the major pull factors that brought her to this country is that the job opportunities and pay are much greater here and this ultimately led to having more stability for our family which was also very important to her. My mom mentioned in the interview that she worked a lot when she was in Mexico, and this is because she is part of a big family, and it takes a lot of money to feed everyone. She expresses this towards the end of the interview by saying, “Very little was paid in salary. And yes, there were times when there wasn’t, well, a lot of food sometimes at home,”. Growing up with this struggle, I think this really pushed my mom to try to provide a better life for my siblings and I here in the US. This is a common theme that many immigrants face, not having a stable foundation in their native country and turning to a country like the US where historically many people immigrate to and have been able to create a better future for generations to come.
However, my mom knew that this whole process was not going to be easy and says, “Maybe here it was not for me and that there are people who feel that one is coming to take away their job or their place,”. As we learned in class there are many jobs in the US, specifically in the labor area, that need workers and they are targeted towards immigrants because they are the main demographic that works, and willing to work, those types of jobs. Finding a job was not easy at first for my mom and it came to a point where she was telling my dad that they should just go back to Mexico because it was not working out. During the interview my mom brought up the point that “nothing is free”, especially in this country and I think it made her realize that although things were very difficult at that time it would all pay off later on in life. In a broader context I think many immigrants have this mindset that you truly have to work harder than everyone else to get what you want in this country. Eventually my parents both found a stable job that was able to provide our family a roof over our head and food to eat.
Yet something that was threatening to push them away once being here in the US was the language barrier that exists. At the time when my parents moved to the northern Virginia area where we live currently there were very few Latinos, and it was hard especially when going to grocery stores and such. In the interview my mom said, “It was difficult because at first Spanish was not widely spoken in stores or medical places. And sometimes you had to ask for what you wanted by talking with your hands,”. As time went on and once my brothers and I started going to school it became easier for her because as we were learning English, so was she. Growing up bilingual in this country I have never experienced something like this before and can’t imagine how she must have felt and it broke my heart when she confessed this in the interview, “Sometimes I almost cried because I got letters from your school and I didn’t know what they meant very well,”. Once the Latino population began to grow in the area, most if not all schools started sending Spanish versions of these types of letters to families that needed the translation, so they did not have to struggle with understanding what the document said.
Although there were some difficult setbacks when at first immigrating to this country, the pros most definitely outweighed the cons in my mom’s point of view. A major reason she decided to stay was, like how I mentioned earlier, the opportunities, specifically in education, that this country offers are much greater compared to where she is from. I am the oldest of three, so I was the guinea pig for many things in hopes that when my younger brothers had to experience them later on, my parents already knew what to expect. The most life changing however has been having the opportunity to go to college, making me a first-generation college student since my parents did not have the chance to continue school after graduating from high school. Talking about it with my mom she said, “When you went to school it made me very sad because we are very close… I also understand that I cannot “cut your wings” just because I want to have you close,”. Having the opportunity to attend college has been such a blessing but I do agree with my mom that at times it is difficult being away from family since in our culture you are very close with your family.
Somewhere along the process of me applying to schools and being accepted is where I think she realized that one of the reasons she decided to stay here in Virginia is because there is the opportunity to go to college and she did not want to keep me from fulfilling that goal I made for myself. She strengthens this argument by saying, “But over time, well, you and your other siblings were born, and we no longer wanted to return because we saw that it was a better opportunity for you to study here,”. Choosing to stay here opens the opportunity for future generations to go to college and pursue careers that they are passionate about. Although this was a major reason my mom decided to stay here, she by no means forced me to go to college, because no matter what she just wanted me to be happy with whatever I chose to do after high school.
Being far from home and in a different country did not mean my mom was going to stop doing normal routines and traditions that she would do growing up. She along with my dad have made it a priority to make sure that my brothers and I know what the culture from where they grew up was like. She said, “It is important to talk to you guys about the culture from over there [Mexico] so that you guys also grow with both of them, and we never leave aside what is from here [United States] with you all too,”. This part in the interview reminded me heavily of our discussion about the second generation and the examples that we saw in class about having to learn and be a part of two different cultures.
As I mentioned in the introduction, my mom loves where she is from and the culture that comes with it, so teaching that to my brothers and I has been very important to her. Being here in the US she has found ways to get back in touch with her roots and at the church we have been going to over the past couple of years my mom has helped out for the celebration that the community does for the Our Lady of Guadalupe or more commonly known as “La Virgen”. This is an important feast day in her hometown so finding a community that celebrates the same passion she has for La Virgen really made her feel more integrated and welcomed into the community. When talking about the celebration she said, “That makes us feel more like, as if we were at home,”. During the interview my mom and I talked a lot about religion and all the aspects that come along with it because it is a driving force for her and what truly keeps her grounded while being so far from home. Unfortunately, in the beginning it was difficult as my mom mentioned in the interview there were not many Spanish masses in the area where she lived, but that did not stop her from keeping up with her values. This also touches on how immigrants have to learn to adjust and adapt to the social norms that comes with joining a new environment.
Another major topic that my mom and I spent talking about during the interview was her initial thoughts and feelings when she originally arrived. One of the biggest things that she noticed was that Hispanic population was very, very small but having a couple of family members here already made her feel better about coming to the US. Over time more of our family members started immigrating to the US as well because they saw the benefits that it could bring to their own families. This bit of the interview reminded me of our chapter on contexts of reception and talking about how immigrants go where other immigrants go because it simply makes things easier, and it is not as difficult adjusting to somewhere new on your own. But apart from family, there has been a general increase in the Hispanic population in our hometown in VA and the language barrier has become less difficult as time has gone on, but it still is a big issue people face. This is very evident in doctor’s offices for example as my mom said, “You always have to try to help those who can’t, because at some point I had to live the same,”. When she said this it made me think of her being on the other side of this process, instead of being the new one in a community she is now someone who feels comfortable with where she is and always tries to help others even if it is something as small as translating a phrase.
She has passed this responsibility on to my brothers and I as there are now many students in our school district that struggle with English and can only speak Spanish. This has happened a lot specifically in my youngest brother’s grade and my mom said, “…at school that a little boy of a certain age arrived, eight years old or something, who has never lived here and does not know how to speak anything… And sometimes they tell me, “Mom, today they asked me to help this child because he can’t speak English,”. From personal experience I struggled with English early on and I think it affected my mom more than I thought it would, that’s why she also mentions in the interview that she wanted to make sure my brothers and I spoke both languages at home.
As we learned in class, schools are a big area for when it comes to contexts of reception in the lens of immigration. A reason my mom emphasized learning the culture of her hometown is because the culture and traditions in the US are different so when it came to going to school we would not necessarily be learning about our heritage since it does not fit the entire demographic of students in that area. However, a couple years after we arrived here, there was more of an emphasis put on learning Latino culture in schools. During the interview my mom said, “But yes in the school where you and your brothers go to they have been teaching a little more of what is the Hispanic culture and following the traditions a little,”. Something I remember learning in school was the Battle of Puebla or more commonly known as El Cinco de Mayo when the Mexican army beat Napoleon and the French army. Although sometimes schools do not always make it clear that this is not Mexico’s independence day, which is celebrated in September, the effort is still there, and my mom appreciates it. Schools incorporating this type of information in classes I think made my mom feel at peace because even though she is in a different country her children are still learning aspects of their heritage.
Another area where schools and communities are becoming more welcoming to immigrant communities is by allowing them to have the space to share their culture with others. My mom brought this up in the interview saying, “There are even Christmas parades and that, each year they give a little more participation to the Hispanic group wearing something that is traditionally from Mexico,”. Over the years this has become more common, and I believe that my mom and many other Latino families appreciate this gesture because it shows that their culture is valued even if they are far from their motherland. Schools and surrounding communities becoming more inclusive has definitely shaped my mom’s immigrant experience and given her comfort with the decision she made over 20 years ago.
Conclusion
To conclude, this project and sociology course has been really eye-opening and has taught me to look at immigration in different ways. Everyone has different opinions on this topic in the US, and that is okay, but when you break down these individual stories and realize the importance and significance they carry, it shows how life changing it truly is. My life could have been completely different had my mom never immigrated here or decided to go back when things became too difficult. But by being surrounded by a strong community that supports you and looking forward to the future, she paved the way for her family and is very happy to be in the US. I hope one day I can be just as brave and courageous as my mom has been and I cannot thank her enough for making this sacrifice for my brothers and me.
Interview Transcription – Spanish Version
Cynthia: Okey. Hola, mi nombre es Cynthia. Aquí estoy con mi mamá Gricelda y voy a hacerle unas preguntas bueno una entrevista de su experiencia aquí en los estados unidos. ¿Entonces, la primera pregunta de dónde eres? ¿Y puedes hablar un poquito de cómo es el pueblo de dónde eres?
Gricelda: Bueno, mi nombre es María Gricelda Flores. Soy de México. De un lugar cerca del estado de Zacatecas. Es un pueblito pequeño con pocos habitantes. Es un lugar muy tranquilo. La mayoría de la gente que vive ahí nos conocemos o somos familia, mis hijos, amigos y todos la verdad, casi todos sabemos de quién es uno y otro. En mi tiempo que vivía allá fue un tiempo bonito. Era cuando estaba más joven y siempre había en que las escuelas hacían sus festivales y cosas y siempre participábamos y era un tiempo muy, muy bonito de mi juventud.
Cynthia: Sí. No son como los pueblos y ciudades aquí. Es bien, como, pequeño todo se conocen. Eso se me hace muy bonito porque yo no tengo, no tuve esa misma experiencia que tú. Se me olvidó decir, pero como eres mi mamá, hay preguntas que a lo mejor voy a preguntarte que yo ya sé, pero sí.
Gricelda: Pues está bien, no hay problema. Nos contestamos.
Cynthia: Okey, entonces, la segunda pregunta, ¿cómo era tu vida antes de venir a los estados unidos?
Gricelda: Bueno, como era un más joven, trabajaba y al mismo tiempo, este, estaba estudiando lo que era la secundaria y un poco de la prepa. Después de clases, trabajaba y teníamos los amigos o a veces participábamos en grupos de iglesia o que había para juntar a los jóvenes. Como todo joven, muy tranquilo, tratando de participar en el evento que hubiera en el pueblo. Pero siempre con la ilusión de que, queremos trabajar y ganar un poco más para poder hacer algo. Y siempre escuchábamos un poco de aquí de estados unidos que se ganaba mejor. Pero mi vida allá fue muy tranquila y bonita. Me gustó el tiempo que estuve ahí.
Cynthia: Bueno, qué bien. ¿Había como otras oportunidades como para seguir estudiando ahí en tu pueblo?
Gricelda: No es un problema para los jóvenes que no hay más. Las universidades no están tan cerca cuando terminas la prepa y que irte a tu casa lejos a buscar donde estudiar. Así es un poco más complicado para los jóvenes que quieren estudiar.
Cynthia: So hablaste un poquito de los estados unidos y que habían escuchado que aquí se puede ganar más dinero o tener como una vida, no más mejor que allá, pero más seguro como te decía. Pero antes de venir a los estados unidos, ¿qué pensabas del país?
Gricelda: Ah, pues uno allá siempre escuchaba que aquí había mejores oportunidades de trabajo de vivir mejor. Que se ganaba mejor y uno como todo joven y con ganas de hacer tu casa o uno tener su vida más que nada por los hijos que tuviera fuera uno a tener este, siempre pensábamos que el vivir aquí o venir acá y trabajar era una buena oportunidad. Siempre escuchábamos que en este país había muchas oportunidades que quizás nosotros no teníamos allá en el mi pueblo de dónde somos.
Cynthia: ¿Cuándo estabas allá no habías escuchado del “American Dream”? ¿O eso era una cosa que ya cuando estabas aquí?
Gricelda: No. Cuando estábamos allá, ya escuchábamos gente que hablaba un poco de eso. Y quizá eso también impulso uno a venirse porque escuchaba uno un poco de eso.
Cynthia: Mm, eso para ti, ¿qué es un sueño americano?
Gricelda: ¿Creo que es como la gente lo dice a veces, “Tienes un sueño americano?” dice bueno, “Eso qué es cuando estás de joven?”, pero siempre es venir y trabajar. Y creo que tener algo estable, salir adelante con diferentes oportunidades. Nada es gratis. No es que, porque vengas a este país, lo vas a conseguir solo por venir. Pero siempre, pues nos ha gustado trabajar y para mí, a lo que como me siento ahorita, me gusta como vivo aquí y siento que he tenido la oportunidad de salir adelante, trabajando y de darles a mis hijos una mejor vida.
Cynthia: Entonces, hablando de tu llegada aquí, ¿cómo fue tu experiencia como llegando a este país?
Gricelda: Mm como todos. Sí, fue un poco difícil para uno dejar sus tierras allá es, es triste, pero siempre vienes con la ilusión de que quieres trabajar. Y al principio pensábamos, “Oh, vamos a trabajar y hacer un poco de dinero y hacer una casita allá y regresarnos,” pero con el tiempo, pues naciste tú y tus otros hermanos y ya no quisimos regresarnos porque veíamos que era mejor oportunidad de estudiar aquí para ustedes. Pero sí, al principio este fue difícil. Sí, hubo un momento cuando no encontrábamos de pronto trabajo que le decía yo a mi esposo, “Eh, mejor vámonos”, porque sí, como todo, pues hay que llegar y buscar dónde vivir y dónde trabajar. Y más que nada, el idioma al principio es una barrera.
Cynthia: Sí. ¿Vinieron en carro entonces se te hizo duro esos días en el carro?
Gricelda: Sí, porque en el pueblo, pues nunca salíamos tan lejos y no tenía, pues no salíamos tanto manejando y eso. Y sí, se me hizo como, “Y que lejos me fui de mi casa,” pero sí, fue un poco pesado, pero sí descansábamos este por las noches. Veníamos con un primo y su familia so no nos sentíamos con extraños.
Cynthia: Sí, he leído mucho en esta clase, también cosas en el internet, que a veces la gente, se vienen solos.
Gricelda: Sí.
Cynthia: No hay comunidad y se siente triste, pero gracias a Dios vinieron con ellos. Y sí, tenemos mucha familia aquí.
Gricelda: Sí. Cuando nos venimos con ellos, tenía yo una hermana aquí que ya tenía tiempo y estaba estable so ella nos recibió y nos ayudó acomodarnos.
Cynthia: ¿Hablaste un poquito del inglés, pero vivimos en un lugar aquí en el pueblo en Virginia, donde a primero no había muchos hispanos entonces en los últimos años, creo que ha aumentado mucho, pero batallaste al principio con inglés?
Gricelda: Sí, como dije anterior, el inglés fue una barrera al principio porque pues sí, no nosotros allá lo único que nos daban era una clase en el “high school” por semana y era como una hora so era muy poquito. ¿Y siempre teníamos la mentalidad de para que quiero estudiar no? ¿Dónde voy a ir a hablar inglés? Nunca pensamos que quizá en un momento lo necesitábamos. Pero creo que eso se nos quedó un poquito. Una que otra palabra, y eso nos fue ayudando tanto a tu papá como a mí. Y sí, fue difícil porque al principio no se hablaba mucho español en las tiendas o lugares médicos. Y a veces a señas pedías o, decías lo que querías, pero. Eh, fue poco a poco que fuimos aprendiendo un poco. Nos gustaba leer. Había amigos o familia que nos proporcionaban libros de inglés. Y ahí íbamos haciendo las frases para decir, “Oh, esto se dice así,” y poco a poco lo fuimos. Agregando nuestra vida diaria. Y no siento que he aprendido totalmente, pero me gusta seguir aprendiendo.
Cynthia: Siento que has hecho un buen trabajo porque sí, el inglés es bien difícil. Y como hay muchas como palabras “slang” que ahora se usan y pues uno no entiende, pero creo que has hecho un buen trabajo.
Gricelda: Gracias. Trato.
Cynthia: Sí. ¿Aprendiste como usando casi los libros, no era como tomar clases?
Gricelda: No. Bueno, tu papá tomó una clase con una, pues no era realmente clase. Era una señora que les daba un poquito lo básico, preguntas y cosas así para que no se les hiciera difícil. Yo, porque te tenía a ti, chiquita, no podía asistir, era por la noche, pero él me pasaba a mi este más o menos lo que miraban. También en un trabajo, la señora hablaba un poco español y era muy paciente. Y siempre este trataba de enseñarme cómo se decían las cosas. Y más que nada, yo creo que con la práctica y perdiendo el miedo, tratar de hablar un poquito, aunque lo dijera mal hecho. Pero sí, el tratar de hablarlo es lo que lo ayuda uno.
Cynthia: Sí, siempre hacemos la burla que mis tíos en California, que tienen más años aquí, no pueden hablar en inglés como tú y mi papá, porque hablan mejor de que ellos. Y ellos tienen más tiempo aquí. Hay muchos hispanos allá en California. Entonces es diferente las cosas.
Gricelda: Sí, ellos tienen este muchos años aquí y no como ellos dicen, acá casi no se ocupa, porque en California, pues se habla mucho el español en todos lados y en realidad creemos como que no lo practican, no les ha pegado mucho. Pero si es bueno saber y me gustaría aprender algún otro idioma.
Cynthia: ¡Como yo con el italiano!
Gricelda: ¡Sí!
Cynthia: Bueno, no me preguntas algo.
Gricelda: Jaja no se si te preguntaba algo
Cynthia: Una que otra palabra.
Gricelda: Está bien, es bonito.
Cynthia: ¿Cuándo los chiquillos y yo fuimos a escuela, crees que eso te ayudo con el inglés?
Gricelda: Sí. Aunque al principio, a veces casi este lloraba porque me llegaban notas de la escuela y no sabía que quería decir muy bien. Pero sí, creo que ala ustedes aprender, también fui aprendiendo yo. También me ayudó mucho que trabajaba cuidando los niños y ellos hablaban todo el tiempo inglés y al tiempo que ellos iban creciendo, aprendiendo yo también, porque yo miraba, “Oh, dice esto. ¿Quiere esto?” Y creo que eso me ayudó ahorita. Siento que para mí es más fácil leerlo porque hay palabras que no las pronuncian muy bien, pero sí lo leo lo comprendo bien.
Cynthia: Sí. Práctica, práctica, práctica. Okey, cambiando temas. ¿Tenemos toda mi vida aquí viviendo en Virginia, pero te puedes imaginar viviendo en otro estado?
Gricelda: No, simplemente el pensar a veces de moverte de casa, digo, “Oh, no es un cambio,” aunque sea aquí mismo en el estado, pero no como que siempre me ha gustado aquí. Se parece mucho aquí a como es mi pueblo allá en México. So quizás eso nos ayudó a acostumbrarnos más aquí. Y creo que irme a un lugar donde fuera como ciudad, no me adaptaría igual que aquí. Por qué me gusta mucho la naturaleza.
Cynthia: Porque somos de rancho.
Gricelda: Si, nos gusta mucho.
Cynthia: Sí, porque mi tía bueno, yo tengo una tía y mi mamá tiene una hermana que vive en Arizona. Entonces, la vida es diferente allá y especialmente porque hace dos años vino mi primo.
Gricelda: Sí.
Cynthia: Y pues se lo hizo todo bien como diferente, bonito, un poquito raro también, porque todo aquí es verde. Entonces, escuchar que eso a ti te ayudó, a qué parece mucho allá.
Gricelda: Sí, eso fue mejor porque sí, es más o menos como el lugar donde vivíamos nosotros, no se me hizo un gran cambio. Sí, las temperaturas porque aquí es más frío o caliente, pero en similitud es más o menos lo mismo, eso nos ayudó a adaptarnos.
Cynthia: Mmh, como pensando antes de venir aquí, ¿imaginabas un lugar como Virginia? ¿O que te imaginabas que iba ser?
Gricelda: Ah pues no. Yo, cuando me decían que Virginia, yo pensaba que era como una ciudad, no, nunca preguntaba cómo era o que había, pero siempre escuchaba que la mayoría de gente se venía aquí o California, Arizona, pero muchos decían ya después con tiempo, si una vez escuchamos que era parecido allá y quizás también eso nos impulsó a venirnos acá en vez de con la familia en California.
Cynthia: Querían ir al norte. Me recuerdo que me decían eso cuando estaba como en first grade y pues, en escuela nosotros nos enseñan que Virginia es el sur, porque en eso de la guerra civil, entonces yo siempre decía a Pops, “Que no, no estamos en el norte.” Pero él decía que sí.
Gricelda: Sí, porque uno allá siempre joven te decía, “No, yo, cuando esté grande, me voy a ir al norte.” Era aún en vez de decir a estados unidos, me voy a ir al norte y este ya después cuando estaban aquí, si tú Pa a veces tenía la burla de aquí, “Querías norte.” Pero en buen plan de que, bueno, vienes a trabajar y hacer algo.
Cynthia: So sí, crees que nos fuéramos a otro estado, ¿serían las cosas como diferentes? ¿Como nuestras vidas o caminos? ¿O sea, si nos fuéramos a Kentucky?
Gricelda: Pues sí, tendría que ser un poco diferente, pero yo creo que las costumbres que tiene uno las lleva con uno donde uno vaya y bueno, sí, es diferente el ambiente, pues hay que adaptarse. Y creo que con ganas y esfuerzo siempre puede uno salir adelante en cualquier estado. Pero me quiero quedar aquí en Virginia.
Cynthia: So true, yo también. ¿So cómo eran las personas cuando llegaste aquí primero? Eran como amables o no tanto.
Gricelda: Ay de todo. Siempre cuando de repente, si te encontrabas una persona que tú sabes que te estaba entendiendo como tú le dijeras, aunque batallar a uno con el inglés y de mirabas, como que sí te comprendía, pero por no ser tan amable, no nos contestaba. No decía lo que uno preguntaba. Y sí, fue un momento que a veces es difícil. Porque a veces haces una pregunta, esperas una respuesta y miras que la gente no te está respondiendo simplemente por el hecho que no es tan amable. Pero como toda la vida, de repente te encuentras una persona, buena gente. Y gracias a Dios, nosotros hemos tenido buenas oportunidades. Y este nos hemos encontrado gente amable a nuestro camino que nos ha ayudado y siempre tratar de aprovechar lo que se puede. Pero sí hay en sus momentos que hay gente más diferente, digamos.
Cynthia: Un tema más como, duro. ¿Has experimentado como racismo o algo así?
Gricelda: Sí, en algunas ocasiones. Bueno, yo en mi parte, he tratado como que eso no me afecte, sé que yo estoy emigrando de un lugar que, quizás aquí no era para mí que hay gente que se sienta que viene uno a quitarle su trabajo o su lugar, pero he tratado de que eso no me afecte. Y aunque sí te has encontrado un momento que alguien dices tú, “Bueno, eso lo hizo más por racismo que por no querer ayudarte o lo algo,”. Pero este ya últimamente, no, quizás porque siento que no batalló con el inglés. Y cuando necesito algo, lo pregunto y me comprenden. Pero hubo sus momentos que sí, hay personas que tratan con racismo
Cynthia: Algo muy feo que ya no debe existir
Gricelda: Y aún pasa a veces, es verdad.
Cynthia: Bueno hablaste un poquito de esto antes, pero cuando estaban tratando de buscar un trabajo, había momentos que, ¿querías tirar la toalla y regresarte?
Gricelda: Sí, creo que fue más al principio cuando llegamos que si nos fue más difícil esté encontrar casa, un trabajo y pues con ustedes, contigo, creciendo y después tus hermanos así hay momentos que dices mejor vámonos. Aunque allá gano uno poquito, igual vamos a trabajar, pero siempre por el impulso de querer darles una mejor vida. Me refiero en estudios y este porque a veces allá cerca de donde vive uno se escucha uno violencia siempre dice lo mejor aquí nos quedamos para ofrecerles a ustedes una mejor vida. Pero si hay rato que dices no más.
Cynthia: Sí, tenemos casi toda mi vida viviendo en esta casa. Pero el otro día, cuando fui a Winchester, pasé la otra casa donde nos quedamos y está bien-
Gricelda: ¿Deteriorada?
Cynthia: Sí.
Gricelda: Sí, en realidad, en estos 21 año que tenemos aquí, que hemos vivido solo dos casas, no tres solo por un mes en otra, un poquito cuando llegamos. Pero para mí he vivido más años aquí. Mi vida ha vivido más aquí que allá. Tenía 19 años cuando nos vinimos de allá. Y pues sí, fue más tiempo viviendo aquí y he estado prácticamente en la misma casa so sí, sería difícil hasta movernos de casa.
Cynthia: Sí. Y eso no es algo que todos pueden decir, porque a veces la gente no puede quedarse en la misma casa, se ocupan mover, pero nosotros, gracias a Dios, siempre estábamos aquí.
Gricelda: Sí, ya. Y por eso nos sentimos como muy de aquí de Virginia, creo, porque no nos hemos movido varias veces. Solo esa vez. Y aquí han crecido todos ustedes y para ustedes aquí es su lugar.
Cynthia: Sí, otra pregunta. ¿Cómo has encontrado comunidad aquí estando muy lejos de México?
Gricelda: Comunidad aquí en este panel área, siempre ha habido como personas, pues, como mucha gente que habla español, poco a poco ha ido llegando más y mucha del lugar donde yo soy de México, so nos hemos integrado a la comunidad de la iglesia, o que, si vas a la escuela una reunión, siempre te encuentras a alguien que es de ella mismo. Y, siempre nos hemos ido juntando así, haciendo eventos. Incluso hay en los desfiles de navidad y eso, este cada vez le dan un poco más participación al grupo hispano llevando algo que sea de tradición de uno de México. So sí, me siento un poco integrado un poco más.
Cynthia: Sí. Y hay muchos del pueblo. Y eso lo que creo que, ayudado mucho, ¿no?
Gricelda: Sí, este porque hay muchos de allá y como cada vez más uno se va tratando de ayudar a la gente de allá. Te traes alguien más. Y si he sentido que ha crecido mucho más de cuando recién llegamos antes, no encontrabas tanta gente que fuera de allá y ahorita, sí, hay mucha gente, que sabes que es del pueblo y que se saluda uno donde quiera que te encuentres por lo mismo que sabemos que somos de allá. Tratamos de hacer algo de eventos a veces que es de la cultura de uno de allá con los que nos encontramos aquí. No siempre se puede, pero se trata siempre de seguir con algo de eso. Como te digo, incluso las escuelas están metiendo un poquito más, algo de lo que es la cultura de hispana.
Cynthia: Sí. Pues ya casi no lo hacemos, pero una tradición allá en el pueblo que es el Día del Hijo Ausente y aquí se celebraba también para los que se quedaron aquí en Virginia, pero eso también creo que fue como un evento, algo para que ustedes se puedan mirar. Porque-
Gricelda: Sí, allá hay un evento que se hace, el Día del Hijo Ausente. Es como por decir los que de aquí pueden ir a visitar, eso es como en agosto. Muchos de aquí van y se les hace una fiesta. Una bienvenida. Hacen, tradiciones de ahí del pueblo que son este rodeo, charreadas o algo así. Este con, eventos familiar en el pueblo y aquí, por no dejar que se les olvidaran esas tradiciones un tiempo si estuvo tratando de hacer lo mismo. Y este incluso venían de otros estados, la gente que sabía que íbamos a tratar de celebrar esas cosas para poder seguir un poco con la cultura de allá. Y ahorita a últimamente, no sé si lo estén celebrando por aquí por lo mismo que a veces no se encuentra un buen lugar para juntar a mucha gente. Pero si aún la gente sigue tratando de no olvidar esos eventos que celebra uno allá. Y así como uno les recuerda a ustedes lo que es de la cultura de uno de allá, para que también ustedes no se les olvide, aunque son de aquí, pero es bonito. Al seguir tradiciones de dos culturas como lo que es allá y lo que es aquí también, lo que hay culturas de aquí, estados unidos, cosas también las celebra uno. Porque pues estamos viviendo aquí. Eso nos gusta también.
Cynthia: Sí, como los 15.
Gricelda: Sí. Oh, esa es una gran tradición que hacen allá.
Cynthia: Yo nunca tuve una, pero mi hermano era un chambelán en muchos de las quinceañeras este verano pasado.
Gricelda: Si tú este, tomaste la opción de no hacerla. Creo que, en algún momento, preguntaba si querías y tú dijiste que no. Incluso me acuerdo de que uno de mis hermanos dijo, “Ay, es la única mujer,” dijo, “tiene muchos tíos entre todos se le hacemos.” Es una fiesta grande con bailes y vestidos iguales. Y todo es muy bonito para las muchachas. Pero tu tomaste la decisión que no querías hacer ese gasto que te gustaría eso para estudiar o tu carro o algo. Y nosotros respetamos tu decisión.
Cynthia: Mucho centro de atención. Y eso a mí, no.
Gricelda: Es que eres más tranquila y te gusta más enfocarte en tus estudios.
Cynthia: ¿Hablaste de la iglesia, y crees que eso como fue algo muy importante como para ayudarte con encontrar comunidad?
Gricelda: Sí, creo que desde que llegamos aquí. Bueno, pues yo soy católica, pero nunca nosotros nunca dejamos de asistir. Aunque estábamos batallando al principio que llegamos, incluso mi hermana donde llegamos, ella no iba que, porque batallaba con sus niños, que no sé qué. Y este, tu papá y yo nunca dejamos de asistir cada ocho días. Creo que hasta la fecha siempre lo hemos hecho en aquel entonces, pues que llegamos aquí, no había, hace 21 años, no había tantas misas en español sólo en ciertos lugares. Había en Manassas, un poco después en un lugar que se llama Middleburg, pero siempre buscamos donde hubiera o incluso en Winchester, que nos tomaba casi una hora para ir. Pero siempre tratamos de seguir con eso porque como éramos jóvenes, pero también tenemos eso que nuestros padres nos habían inculcado y nosotros queremos seguir con eso y no dejar atrás lo que era nuestra religión. Hasta el momento, pues ustedes también nos acompañan los sábados, cada ocho días que puede uno esté a misa e incluso participar en eventos que la iglesia.
Cynthia: Sí. Y siento que, pues antes íbamos a otras iglesias, pero ya que como los últimos nueve, 10 años tenemos yendo a una y pues se siente como, bien la comunidad, a veces falta o vez como gente diferente, pero las tradiciones como la que hacemos para La Virgen, creo que eso sí te ayuda a conocer más gente.
Gricelda: Ah, sí, como empezó a ver ésta la oportunidad que hay misa cerca, aquí nos quedan 10, 15 minutos, siempre tratamos de ir ahí mismo y a tratar de formar una comunidad en cierto lugar después de andar en un lugar y en otro. Pero sí, y ahí incluso ayudamos con la preparación de una celebración grande a La Virgen de Guadalupe. Ustedes, como mis hijos siempre nos ayudan también tratamos de aportar este un poco de ayuda ahí. Y sí, siempre miras la misma gente, es como yo siento que es como que la gente se va adaptando a un lugar y dices, “Ahí es mi comunidad, y ahí voy.” Pero de vez en cuando, empieces a mirar gente diferente, extraña, y se van uniendo a la comunidad. Eso nos hace sentir más como, como si uno como en casa. Pues para uno a México es lugar de uno.
Cynthia: Mmh. Siguiente pregunta. La familia es súper importante para mí. Yo sé que es igual de importante para ti. Y gracias a Dios. Como dije, tenemos mucha familia. Yo tengo muchos tíos y primos aquí cerquitas, pero si ellos no estuvieran aquí, si sólo era nosotros, ¿Cómo crees que te sintieras?
Gricelda: Ahm sí, somos mucha familia por los dos lados. Tengo muchos hermanas y hermanos que, con el tiempo, han estado viniendo, también con el lado de tu papi, pero creo que, si no estuvieran tal vez quizás sí, si hubiera uno ido o no sabría decirte, porque si sería más sentirse uno más solo acá tan lejos que dicen no tengo mucha gente, pero como por lo mismo que poco a poco fueron viniéndose un poco más. Se vinieron a seguirme-
Cynthia: Es que no pueden vivir sin ti.
Gricelda: Si vinieron a seguirme. Así fue un poco más. Y sí, creo que eso le ha ayudado a uno más tener más de tu familia de tu sangre aquí y poco a poco más amigos, compadres y de todo.
Cynthia: ¿Pues mi siguiente pregunta, si ellos no estaban mejor se regresarían? ¿Tú crees que sí, a lo mejor no estaban o no sabes?
Gricelda: No sabría decir, quizá ya me gustó aquí. Sí, me gustó. O sea, estoy ya muy gusta aquí también. Eso es una oportunidad grande que se nos ha dado y la hemos podido aprovechar. No sé, quizá tal vez si nos hubiéramos regresado, pero por él mismo, de que mira uno que ustedes viven mejor también quiso habernos tomado la decisión de que se quedaron aquí.
Cynthia: ¿Qué ha sido algo que te ha ayudado con sentir conectado tu cultura? ¿Yo sé que hablamos un poquito de la iglesia y religión, pero hay otra cosa?
Gricelda: No básicamente, pues más lo de la iglesia y como eso también en las escuelas, que también ya lo había comentado un poco. Pero si en la escuela donde participan ustedes han estado metiendo un poco más de lo que es la cultura hispana y siguiendo un poco las tradiciones. Por ejemplo, los días que se hace que allá festejen algo también aquí los celebran como el 5 de mayo, dándole la oportunidad a los niños, saber qué es lo que celebran allá. Y yo creo que eso y seguir las tradiciones en la iglesia de cómo lo hacía uno allá lo mantiene a uno como conectaba un poco la cultura de allá, dejando que no se nos olvide, y uno enseñándoles a ustedes.
Cynthia: ¿Cuándo apenas llegaron e ibas a la tienda, mirabas muchas cosas como comida hispana o cosas así? ¿O cómo hacías para comer?
Gricelda: No esté al principio en las tiendas que ahora miras una sección de hispano, de comida productos hispano no lo había tanto. Porque más para acá, pues no había tantos hispanos so había tiendas pequeñas que sólo tenían cosas de hispanos y había veces que nos tocaba ir más lejos a buscar. Pero siempre, pues, cuando no lo había cerca, tratábamos de usar los productos que hubiera cerquitas. Para que para poder cocinar y seguir con lo que uno comía allá. Pero ahora, poco a poco en cada tienda, he visto secciones más grandes de productos que uno utiliza e igual como seguimos utilizando los productos de allá, también hacemos todo lo de aquí. Creo que tenemos una mezcla de cultura, mezcla de comida también.
Cynthia: Sí, anoche comimos que, carne asada con pasta Alfredo.
Gricelda: Sí, todo revuelto
Cynthia: Me gustó. ¡Era muy delicioso! ¡Gracias! Enseñar la cultura es muy importante para ti a nosotros.
Gricelda: Ah, para mí, para nosotros sí. Para tu papá y para mí siempre nos ha gustado hablarles de cómo vivimos allá, que era bonito sí, pero también este era más difícil. Se pagaba muy poco por salario. Y sí, había veces de que no había, pues, mucha comida a veces en casa o algo, y siempre nos ha gustado platicarles de cómo vivíamos allá. Qué diferencia hay allá lo que ahora vive uno aquí. Gracias a Dios aquí les podemos proporcionar todo. Pero sí. Siento que, no sé, es importante platicarles la cultura de allá para que ustedes también crezcan con las dos y tampoco, nunca dejamos de lado lo que es de aquí también con ustedes. Participamos con lo que es la cultura de aquí de estados unidos, lo que hay tradiciones a lo que hay que festejar, porque sentimos que estamos porque vivimos aquí y es una oportunidad que nos dio aquí al país y hay que celebrarlo también.
Cynthia: Algo que yo me acuerdo mucho de mi “childhood” fue cuando, en el primer grado fuimos a lonche y luego cuando regresamos, estábamos mirando en la clase en vez de la cafetería fuimos a la clase para comer y estábamos viendo la inauguración de Obama y eso como en el momento yo sentí como mucho orgullo y una sensación como de paz. No sé porque, viendo alguien de color siendo presidente, pues fue algo histórico. ¿Cuándo tú escuchaste de eso, te acuerdas cómo te sentiste?
Gricelda: Ah, sí, así como dices tú, creo que también nos dio así. Nos dio mucho gusto, no porque claro que para nada no porque no quiera uno a la gente blanca, sino porque siempre tuvimos como que, “Oh, que es su presidente que quizá nos pueda dar mayor oportunidad a nosotros hispanos”, porque en su momento era algo así. Lo comentaba que nos iba a apoyar so sí, fue una esperanza de que, “Oh, nos va a ayudar más”, esto y más orgullo de que estuviera él. Sí, me sentí como tú, que si nos puede ayudar creo. Pues a todos, a tu papa él también nos dio gustó.
Cynthia: Sí. Y cuando fue elegido, otra vez, duró ocho años. Entonces eso fue sí, como una sensación como de orgullo, como sentirse seguro.
Gricelda: Es verdad. Creíamos como que nos iba a apoyar un poco más y decíamos bueno, tal vez haya mejores oportunidades. Y sí, nos hizo sentir mejor.
Cynthia: ¿Qué opinas de cómo daca y TPS?
Gricelda: Si a mí me gusta la oportunidad, aunque es para diferentes, pues para los jóvenes o para de otros lugares de allá. Si me da gusto por la gente que tenga esas oportunidades, creo que yo siento que a mí, me gusta que, cuando te ofrecen una oportunidad de algo, no me gusta desaprovecharla. Quizás no estoy adecuada para, por decir, para ese puesto, lo que sea, pero me gusta luchar por eso hasta que, si puedo hacerlo, lo hago lo mejor que puedo. Entonces, para mí, el que les den a ellos esa oportunidad de tener eso, pero que tienes que hacer esto y esto y esto es luchar hasta que lo consigas, porque siempre hay una oportunidad en tu camino y no hay que dejarla ir.
Cynthia: ¿Cómo ha cambiado tu opinión hoy en día de este país? Ahora ya teniendo más de 20 años aquí.
Gricelda: Pues yo creo que todo es como lo escuchaba allá, que hay que venir y trabajar para poder tener algo y de que aquí, si hay mejores oportunidades que de donde uno vivía, no siento que haya cambiado, tanto porque igual como vives aquí, lo mismo que ganas, lo tienes que gastar y lo mismo, hay que pagar gastos, “bills” y todo. Pero si, no siento que sea, aunque digas, “Oh, no, yo lo miraba diferente” porque sé que si tiene, si quieres tener algo, pues hay que trabajar para él so hay que seguir adelante o qué a veces dices, “no, este trabajo no me gusta” lo otro, pero siempre hay que luchar porque pues estamos en este país, y creo que yo he entendido que nada es gratis si no trabajas por él, so para mí el trabajar por algo que tú quieres y a hacer un proyecto o tu trabajo, lo que sea, al final, cuando lo tienes, es una satisfacción de que tú pusiste tu mejor esfuerzo por él. Entonces, no siento que el país haya cambiado tanto. Sí, en algunos aspectos de que ahora hay mejores oportunidades de cómo te digo de lenguaje.
Cynthia: Sí, me acuerdo de que cuando fui a Orlando para un “field trip” cuando llegué ahí al aeropuerto, todo estaba en español. Y dije pues, ¿dónde estoy?
Gricelda: Sí es de eso es creo que eso ha sido uno de los cambios que ya en lugares donde antes no encontrabas cosas hispanas, por decirlo así. Este ya miras muchos letreros que igual como están en inglés, está en español o están en otro idioma. Y creo que eso, eso es alguno de los cambios que han cambiado, que ha habido más, más cultura más lenguaje. So también en lugares de médicos también. Este hay muchas más oportunidades que si no se tiene una persona ahí trabajando que hable tu idioma, te buscan a alguien un traductor por teléfono. A mí varias veces me ha tocado que estoy en un lugar, centro médico, o algo y llega alguien que no sabe hablar el inglés, y si yo lo puedo ayudar con gusto, muchas veces lo he hecho. Porque pues siempre hay que tratar de ayudar al que no, no puede, porque en algún momento me tocó vivir lo mismo.
Cynthia: Sí. Yo tengo una amiga en la escuela que está estudiando eso, de ser un “translator” para estar con los médicos. Y también conozco a muchas personas que quieren ser maestras. Así que también están tratando de aprender español porque que hay muchos niños que no sabían, cómo yo, muy bien el inglés.
Gricelda: Sí, ahora este, hablando de eso de traducir, me ha tocado ocasiones que ustedes, a tus hermanos a los dos les ha tocado en la escuela que llega un niñito de una cierta edad, ocho años o algo, que nunca ha vivido aquí y no sabe hablar nada. Y a veces me dicen, “Mamá, hoy me pusieron a ayudarle a este niño porque no sabe hablar.” Y me decían para dónde lo llevara y a qué clase tenía que ir. Y yo siempre les he dicho, creo que también te tocó en algunas ocasiones, siempre que ayudar. La maestra siempre le decía, “Oh, me ayudas tú porque saben que comprendes el inglés y el español,” en nosotros siempre hemos tratado de que aquí en casa se hable los dos. Aunque tu hermano, el más chiquito, no habla mucho, pero lo comprende bien. Sólo se le hace un poco más difícil. Pero sí, hay que ayudar siempre y ustedes también siempre lo han hecho. Gracias.
Cynthia: Gracias por enseñarnos.
Gricelda: Gracias por escucharnos de nuestra cultura.
Cynthia: Me encanta escuchar de eso. Creo que hablé un poquito de esto en un “discussion board”, entonces no te dije a ti, pero era como, hablando de, no sé qué, pero me acordé de Mrs. Miller y cuando yo apenas estaba empezando Kindergarten.
Gricelda: Sí.
Cynthia: Y yo no podía hablar muy bien el inglés, I mean, sí, por el trabajo, como cuando fui con ustedes ellos me ayudaban, cuando ya teníamos tele, podía hablar más o menos, pero igual la vida, como que había cosas que no podía decir. Entonces ella batalló mucho, pero era una persona muy amable y siento que ha ayudado a muchas familias.
Gricelda: Sí, incluso yo aún la sigo mirando en una de las escuelas donde va tu hermano y nunca te ha olvidado. Sí, siempre se acuerda de Cynthia, es una muy buena maestra ella y siempre ha tenido muchos alumnos hispanos y creo que todos la quieren mucho. Entonces, a veces por tu manera de hacerte, ganó las personas y ella, aunque miraba que ustedes tenían problema a veces para para la pronunciación o algo era muy paciente. Entonces, sí, siempre encuentras buena gente.
Cynthia: Y ella fue como una de las primeras personas, yo creo que yo sentía que me apoyaba mucho a mí en la escuela.
Gricelda: Sí.
Cynthia: Sí, pero muy buena persona. Nos ha tocado a otras personas como así. Pero ella es como para mí favorita. Y yo sé que para ti también.
Gricelda: Sí, sí, sí. Este le hemos seguido mirando. También tuve la oportunidad de conocerla promedio de un trabajo que ella era amiga de mis patrones so fue como más tu maestra e incluso que la conocía a uno y hasta el momento ella sigue acordándote todavía mucho de ti y de ustedes.
Cynthia: Sí. ¿Sabías que esto se iba a convertir en tu casa, como los estados unidos?
Gricelda: Creo que cuando veníamos, era la mentalidad de que íbamos a trabajar un poco y este tratar de hacer una casita allá para poder vivir y trabajar, vivir de lo que trabajar a uno. Pero después, con el tiempo, éste vimos por mejores oportunidades para ustedes. Y yo creo que la verdad yo, al principio no creía que esto fuera hacer como, “Me voy a quedar aquí,” porque incluso fue una de las promesas que se le hizo pues a mis papás, que vamos a regresar. Solo vamos por poco tiempo. Y este, no terminamos quedándonos aquí, pero me gusta aquí. Me siento muy a gusto. Creo que, si ahora me pusiera a pensar, no, no lo hubiera cambiado que digas, me hubiera ido luego, luego porque sé que está uno mejor aquí. Claro, trabajando todos los días. Y a veces sí, hay días que dices es pesado. Pero pues, como te digo nada, sé gana solo estirando la mano, todo hay que, trabajar para ello. Y ahora sí, la considero aquí mi casa, porque he vivido más años aquí que allá.
Cynthia: Sí, sí. Algo que Pops dijo el otro día, así fue como, él antes, no sé si antes pensaba así, pero dijo que trabajar, no dijo, vivir para trabajar, pero ahora trabajar para vivir. ¿Qué opinas de eso?
Gricelda: Es que hay mucha gente que te dedicas, tu vida trabajar. Entonces estás viviendo más para trabajar. Voy a trabajar, trabajar, trabajar. Y hay gente que dice, “No en yo voy a vivir de mi trabajo de lo que gano ahí.” Creo que él y yo pensamos lo mismo. No hay que estar viviendo para el trabajo. Hay que vivir del trabajo y no estar siempre enfocados en puro, trabajar, trabajar, trabajar, porque hay cosas en la vida que se le van a uno. Está pasando el tiempo. Creo que no le hemos hecho tan mal con ustedes. Nos gusta siempre hasta el momento que estamos en casa de compartirlo con ustedes. Gracias a Dios tuve la oportunidad de, aunque estuviéramos trabajando, traerlos conmigo so no les tocó andar con nana. Bueno nana de su mamá, pero sí, no hay que vivir sólo para ello. Tiene uno que tratar de vivir, sí de lo que ganas, pero no estar siempre enfocado en que trabajo el trabajo porque no lo es todo. Siempre que tener un espacio en la vida para lo demás, porque el trabajo sigue, tú te acabas y te haces viejito. Pero el trabajo sigue, ese no te lo acabas.
Cynthia: Sí, me acuerdo también de que antes decían que bueno no decían, pero, teníamos como la idea que ocupas tener como mucho dinero, pero no dinero no es todo. Yo sé que en este país nada es gratis, como dijiste y ocupas trabajar, pero tener como en cuenta, eres una persona y que no todo se trata de tener un montón de dinero. Y a veces la gente que tienen, que son ricos no son felices.
Gricelda: Es verdad, sí, yo creo que he llegado un tiempo que todos pensamos hay que, trabajar, trabajar para tener mucho dinero o tener esto, tenerlo otro. Y ahorita, bueno, yo lo que pienso es, sentirte bien, no sentirte que estás o quieres ser rico y que eres pobre. Yo me siento muy feliz con lo que tengo. Todo ha sido fuerza de trabajo. Pero es verdad que el dinero no es importante. Sí, es importante la manera para cubrir tus gastos y lo que necesita uno, pero no es que tengas que vivir para él. Hay que uno, este ir, sí a ser tú tu manera de que voy a pagar esto y lo otro, pero no estar siempre enfocado en eso, porque no lo es todo. Hay familias, como incluso dices que sí, tienen la verdad, dices, “Oh, se ve muy bien, tienes esto, tiene otro,” pero siempre lo miras enojado, amargado, y no es feliz. Yo a mi ver el dinero, no, no lo es todo. Siempre que tener balance en eso y tener en cuenta que no, porque seas rico, vas a ser feliz. Y yo este con lo que tengo. Bueno, no soy rica, pero me siento bien. Me siento muy feliz. Creo que tengo salud, hijos, mi casa y para mí es importante.
Cynthia: ¡Y tu perro también!
Gricelda: Y mi perro también, que me quiere mucho. Sí, es muy bonito. Siempre me gustaría que ustedes sean con eso, de que la familia es lo más importante.
Cynthia: Sí, y para mí lo es, no me gusta estar lejos de ustedes.
Gricelda: Sí, creo que eso fue algo difícil. Cuando tú te fuiste a la escuela. Se me hizo muy triste porque somos más unidos. Sí, eres mi única mujer. Pero este, también entiendo que no puedo cortarte las alas solo porque yo quiero tenerte cerquitas. Por eso siempre estoy dando lata. Ven a visitarme. A veces duro un poquito que no te estoy molestando en hablarte, pero es para darte tu espacio. Y también para que crezcas un poco lejos de uno y que piensas que me hace falta mi familia. Sí, pero ya sabes que con nosotros siempre vas a tener tu casa.
Cynthia: Sí. ¿Bueno, creo que eso son todas las preguntas quieres decir algo más?
Gricelda: Sí, que muchas gracias por darme la oportunidad de hablar un poco de cómo me sentí al llegar y la cultura de lo que tiene uno allá en México y también lo de aquí. Y gracias a ti por siempre tomarnos en cuenta como tu familia y claro que siempre estamos a apoyar en lo que pueda uno.
Cynthia: Gracias a ti por todo.
Gricelda: Gracias, te quiero mucho
Cynthia: No puedo imaginar otra mamá.
Gricelda: Gracias mija.
Interview Transcription – English Version
Cynthia: Okay. Hello, my name is Cynthia. I am here with my mother Gricelda, and I am going to ask her some questions, well, an interview about her experience here in the United States. So, the first question where are you from? And can you talk a little about the town where you are from?
Gricelda: Well, hello, my name is María Gricelda Flores. I’m from Mexico. From a place near the state of Zacatecas. It is a small town with few inhabitants. It is a very quiet place. Most of the people who live there know each other or we are family, my children, friends and, almost all of us know who one is and the other. In my time that I lived there it was a beautiful time. It was when I was younger and the schools were always doing their festivals and things and we always participated and it was a very, very nice time in my youth.
Cynthia: Yes. It is not like the towns and cities here. It is a very small town where everyone knows each other. That seems very nice to me because I did not have the same experience as you. I forgot to say, but since you’re my mom, there are questions that maybe I’m going to ask you that I already know.
Gricelda: Well, that’s fine, no problem. I’ll still answer them.
Cynthia: Okay, so the second question, what was your life like before you came to the United States?
Gricelda: Well, since I was younger, I worked and at the same time, I was studying secondary school and a little bit of high school. After school, I worked, and hung out with friends or sometimes participated in church groups or whatever there was to get young people together. Like all young people, very calm, trying to participate in whatever event happened in the town. But always with the dream that we want to work and earn a little more to be able to do something. And I always heard a bit from here in the United States that you could earn better. But my life there was very calm and beautiful, I liked the time I was there.
Cynthia: Well, good. Were there like other opportunities to continue studying there in your town?
Gricelda: It is a problem for young people because there are no more opportunities to keep studying. The universities are not so close and when you finish high school, and you have to go far away from home to find a place to study. This is a bit more complicated for young people who want to study.
Cynthia: So, you spoke a little about the United States and that you had heard that here you can earn more money or have a life, not better than there, but safer I guess. But before coming to the United States, what did you think of the country?
Gricelda: Ah, well, one always heard that there were better job opportunities and a better life. That it was better to earn and one, like everyone, young and wanting to build your home or have your life, more than anything for the children you had, we always thought that living here or coming here and working was a good opportunity. We always heard that in this country there were many opportunities that perhaps we did not have back in my town where we are from.
Cynthia: When you were there, had you not heard of the “American Dream”? Or was that something you already did know of when you were here?
Gricelda: No. When we were there, we already heard people talking a little about it. And perhaps that also prompted one to come because one heard a little of that.
Cynthia: Hmm, that to you, what is an American dream?
Gricelda: I think it’s like people ask sometimes, “Do you have an American dream?” And they also say, “What is that when you’re young?”, but it’s always coming and working. And I think having something stable, getting ahead with different opportunities. Nothing is free. It’s not that, because you come to this country, you’re going to get it just by coming. But always, well, we have liked working and for me, as I feel right now, I like how I live here and I feel that I have had the opportunity to get ahead, working and giving my children a better life.
Cynthia: So, speaking of your arrival here, how was your experience coming to this country?
Gricelda: Mm like everyone. Yes, it was a bit difficult for one to leave their land there, it’s sad, but you always come with the illusion that you want to work. And at first we thought, “Oh, we are going to work and make a little money and build a little house there and return,” but over time, well, you and your other siblings were born, and we no longer wanted to return because we saw that it was a better opportunity to study here for you. But yeah, at first it was hard. Yes, there was a time when we suddenly couldn’t find a job and I said to my husband, “Hey, let’s go,” because yes, like everything else, you have to arrive and find where to live and where to work. And more than anything, the language at the beginning is a barrier.
Cynthia: Yes. Y’all came by car, so were those days in the car hard for you?
Gricelda: Yes, because in my hometown, well we never went out that far and it didn’t have, well we didn’t go out as much driving and stuff. And yes, I was like, “Ah I am so far from my home,” but yes, it was a bit heavy, but we did rest at night. We came with a cousin and his family, so we didn’t feel like strangers.
Cynthia: Yes, I have read a lot in this class, also things on the internet, that sometimes people come by themselves.
Gricelda: Yes.
Cynthia: There is no community, and it feels sad, but thank God they came with you. And well, we have a lot of family here.
Gricelda: Yes. When we came with them, I had a sister here who had been here for a long time and was stable, so she received us and helped us get settled.
Cynthia: You spoke a little bit of English earlier, but we live in a place here in the town in Virginia, where at first there weren’t many Hispanics so in recent years, I think it has increased a lot, but you struggled with English at first?
Gricelda: Yes, as I said earlier, English was a barrier at first because, well, the only thing they gave us back home was one class in the high school, once a week and it was like an hour, but it was very little. And we always had the mentality of why do I want to study English, right? Where am I going to speak English? We never thought that maybe at one point we would need it. But I think that stuck with us a bit. One word or another, and that helped both your dad and me. And yes, it was difficult because at first Spanish was not widely spoken in stores or medical places. And sometimes you asked for signs or, you said what you wanted with your hands but, it was little by little that we learned a little. We liked to read. There were friends or family who provided us with English books. And there we were making the phrases to say and realized things like, “Oh, this is said like that,” and little by little we were learning in our daily life. And I don’t feel like I’ve fully learned, but I like to keep learning.
Cynthia: I feel that you have done a good job because yes, English is very difficult. And since there are many “slang” words that are now used and well, one doesn’t understand all of them, but I think you’ve done a good job.
Gricelda: Thank you. I try.
Cynthia: Yes. Did you learn mostly by using books, or was it like taking classes?
Gricelda: No. Well, your dad took a class with one, well, it wasn’t really a class. It was a lady who gave them a little bit of the basics, questions, and things like that so that it wouldn’t be difficult for them. Because I had you, and you were a baby at the time, I couldn’t attend, it was at night, but he gave me his notes so I could understand more or less what it was like. Also at a job, the lady spoke a little Spanish and was very patient. And she always tried to teach me how to say things. And more than anything, I think that with practice and losing fear, I tried to speak a little, even if I said it wrong. But yes, trying to talk and practice is what helps you.
Cynthia: Yes, we always make fun of the fact that my uncles in California, who have been here for more years, can’t speak English like you and my dad, because y’all speak better than they do. And they have more time here. There are many Hispanics there in California, so things are a bit different.
Gricelda: Yes, they have been here for many years and as they say, here they hardly care about it, because in California, Spanish is widely spoken everywhere and in reality we believe that they don’t practice it, it hasn’t hit them very well . But it is good to know, and I would like to learn some other language.
Cynthia: Like me with Italian!
Gricelda: Yes!
Cynthia: Well, don’t ask me something.
Gricelda: Haha I wouldn’t know what to ask.
Cynthia: I know a word or two.
Gricelda: It’s okay, it’s still good to know.
Cynthia: When my brothers and I went to school, do you think that helped you with English?
Gricelda: Yes. Although at first, sometimes I almost cried because I received notes from school, and I didn’t know what they meant very well. But yes, I think that when you were learning, I also learned. It also helped me a lot that I worked taking care of children and they spoke English all the time and as they grew up, I learned too, because I would look, “Oh, he says this. Do you want this?” And I think that has helped me a lot for right now. I feel that it is easier for me to read it because there are words that I do not pronounce very well, but if I read it I understand it well.
Cynthia: Yeah. Practice, practice, practice. Ok, changing topics. We have lived my whole life here in Virginia, but can you imagine living in another state?
Gricelda: No, just sometimes thinking about moving houses, I’m like, “Oh, no it’s a change,” even though it’s right here in the state, but I’ve always liked it here. It looks a lot like my town here in Mexico. So maybe that helped us get used to this area more. And I think that going to a place where it is like a city, I would not adapt the same as here. I really like nature that we are surrounded by.
Cynthia: Because we are from the ranch.
Gricelda: Yes, we like it a lot.
Cynthia: Yes, because my aunt, well, I have an aunt and my mom has a sister who lives in Arizona. So, life is different there and especially because two years ago my cousin came.
Gricelda: Yes.
Cynthia: And well, he saw that everything well, is different, beautiful, a little strange too, because everything here is green. So, hearing that this helped you, and seems a lot like your hometown is cool.
Gricelda: Yes, that was better because yes, it’s more or less like the place where we lived, it wasn’t a big change. Yes, the temperatures are different because here it is colder or hotter, but in similarity it is more or less the same environment, that helped us to adapt.
Cynthia: Mmh, like thinking before you came here, did you envision a place like Virginia? Or what did you imagine it would be?
Gricelda: Oh well no. When they told me Virginia, I thought it was like a city, so no, I never asked what it was like or what was there, but I always heard that most people came here or California, Arizona, but many would stay after a while, and once we heard that it was similar there and perhaps that also prompted us to come here instead of with the family we have in California.
Cynthia: You wanted to go north. I remember that you guys told me that when I was in first grade and well, in school we are taught that Virginia is the south, because in that of the civil war, so I always said to Pops, “No, we are not in the north.” But he said we were.
Gricelda: Yes, because young people back home would always say, “No, when I grow up, I’m going to go north.” It was a way instead of saying the United States you would say I’m going to go north and east later when they were here. But yes your dad sometimes had the joke here, “You wanted north.” But in a good plan that, well, you come to work and do something.
Cynthia: So, do you think if we went to another state, would things be any different? Like our lives or paths? Like if we went to Kentucky.
Gricelda: Well, yes, it would have to be a little different, but I think that the customs that one has are carried with one wherever one goes and well, yes, the environment is different, because you have to adapt. And I believe that with desire and effort one can always get ahead in any state. But I want to stay here in Virginia.
Cynthia: So true, me too. So, what were the people like when you first got here? Were they kind and nice or not so much.
Gricelda: Oh well a little bit of everything. Sometimes you would run into a person that you know was understanding you as you spoke and knowing that you struggled with English and you would look at them, as if they did understand you, but because they weren’t so kind, they didn’t answer you. And yes, it was a moment that was sometimes difficult. Because sometimes you ask a question, you wait for an answer, and you see that people are not answering you simply because they are not so nice. But like all things in life, suddenly you meet a person, good people. And thank God, we have had good opportunities. And because of this we have met kind people on our way who have helped us and we always try to take advantage of what we can. But there are at times when there are more different people, let’s say.
Cynthia: More of a like hard topic, have you experienced racism or something along those lines?
Gricelda: Yes, on some occasions. Well, for my part, I have tried not to let that affect me, I know that I am emigrating from a place that, perhaps here was not for me because there are people who feel that one is coming to take away their job or their place, but I have tried not to let that affect me. And although you have moments when someone says to you, “Well, they did that more out of racism than because they didn’t want to help you or anything,”. But lately, no, maybe because I feel like I don’t struggle with English as much. And when I need something, I ask, and people usually understand me. But there were their moments that yes, people deal with racism.
Cynthia: Something very ugly that should no longer exist.
Gricelda: And it still happens sometimes, it’s true.
Cynthia: Well, you talked about this a little bit earlier, but when you were trying to look for a job, were there times when you wanted to throw in the towel and go back?
Gricelda: Yes, I think it was more at the beginning when we arrived that it was more difficult for us to find a house, a job and well with you, with you, growing up and then your brothers, there are times when you want to say let’s go. Although I earn a little there [Mexico], we still go to work, but always because of the impulse to want to give you guys a better life. I mean in studies and also because sometimes near where we live you can hear violence, so always thinking that it’s best we stay here to offer you a better life. But there were time that you say, “no more”.
Cynthia: Yes, we have almost all my life living in this house. But the other day when I went to Winchester, I passed the other house where we stayed and it’s well-
Gricelda: Damaged?
Cynthia: Yes, very.
Gricelda: Yes, actually, in these 21 years that we have been here, we have only lived in two houses, or three, just for a month in another, a little bit when we arrived. But for me I have lived more years here. I have lived my life more here than there. I was 19 years old when we came from there. And yes, it has been a longer time living here and I have been practically in the same house so yes, it would be difficult if we even moved houses.
Cynthia: Yes. And that’s not something that everyone can say, because sometimes people can’t stay in the same house, they have to move, but we, thank God, have always been here.
Gricelda: Yes, yes. And that’s why we feel very much from here in Virginia, I think, because we haven’t moved several times. Just that one time. And you guys have all grown up here, so this is your place.
Cynthia: Yes, another question. How have you found community here being so far from Mexico?
Gricelda: Community here in this area, there have always been like people, well, like many people who speak Spanish, little by little more have been arriving and many from the place where I am from Mexico, so we have integrated into the community of the church, or that, if you go to school for a meeting, you always find someone who is from there as well. And, we have always been getting together like this, doing events. There are even in Christmas parades and that, each year they give a little more participation to the Hispanic group wearing something that is traditionally from Mexico. So yes, I feel a little integrated a little more.
Cynthia: Yes. And there are many from the town. And I think that has helped a lot right?
Gricelda: Yes, this is because there are many people from there here and as more and more people arrive you try to help them. You bring someone else. And yes I have felt that it has grown much more than when we first arrived, before you did not find so many people who were from there and right now, yes, there are many people, who you know are from the town and who greet each other wherever you are so same as we know we are from there. We try to do community events sometimes that is from the culture of one from there so we can all meet together here. You can’t always get everyone together, but it’s always about sticking with some of the traditions and culture. As I told you, even the schools are putting a little more in, something of what the Hispanic culture is.
Cynthia: Yes. Well, we almost don’t do it anymore, but there’s a tradition in town that is the “El Día del Hijo Ausente” and it was also celebrated for those who stayed here in Virginia, but I also think that was like an event where you could all see each other.
Gricelda: Yes, there is an event that takes place there, “El Día del Hijo Ausente”. It is as if to say that those from here can go visit and takes place like in August. Many from here go and have a party for them. A welcome. They do traditions from there in the town like rodeos, charreadas or something like that. This with, family events in town and here, for not letting them forget those traditions for a while if you were trying to do the same. And people even came from other states, the people who knew that we were going to try to celebrate those things to be able to continue a little with the culture there. And now lately, I don’t know if they’re celebrating it around here for the same reason that sometimes you can’t find a good place to get a lot of people together. But people still keep trying not to forget those events that one celebrates there. And just as one reminds you of what is from the culture of one from there, so that you also do not forget, even though you are from here, but it is beautiful. By following traditions of two cultures such as what is there and what is also here, what there are cultures from here, the United States, things are also celebrated by one. Because we are living here. We like that too.
Cynthia: Yeah, like quinceañeras.
Gricelda: Yes. Oh, that’s a great tradition they do there.
Cynthia: I never had one, but my brother was a “chambelan” at many of the quinceañeras this past summer.
Gricelda: Yes, you took the option of not doing it. I think at some point, we asked if you wanted to and you said no. I even remember that one of my brothers said, “Oh, she’s the only woman,” he said, “she has many uncles among all of us we can pay for it.” It is a big party with dances and pretty dresses. And everything is very nice for the girls. But you made the decision that you did not want to make that expense that you would like to use that money to study or for your car or something. And we respect your decision.
Cynthia: All the attention is on you and that to me is a no.
Gricelda: Yes you’re an easygoing person and you like to focus more on your studies.
Cynthia: You talked about the church earlier so do you think that was something very important to help you find community?
Gricelda: Yes, I think since we got here. Well, I’m Catholic, but we never stopped going. Although we were struggling at first when we arrived, even when my sister arrived, she didn’t go, because she struggled with her children, and I don’t know what. And your dad and I never stopped going every week. I think that up to now we have always gone because when we arrived here, there weren’t, 21 years ago, there weren’t so many masses in Spanish, only in certain places. There was in Manassas, a little later in a place called Middleburg, but we always looked for where there was or even in Winchester, which took us almost an hour to go. But we always try to continue with that because we were young, but we also have what our parents had instilled in us, and we want to continue with that and not leave behind what was our religion. Until now, well, you guys also join us on Saturdays, every week that one can be at mass and even participate in events that the church has.
Cynthia: Yes. And I feel that, well, before we went to other churches, but since like the last nine, 10 years we have been going to one and well, it feels like, well, a good community, sometimes regular people are missing or you see different people, but the traditions like the one we do for La Virgen, I think that does help you meet more people.
Gricelda: Ah, yes, we began to see the opportunity that there is mass nearby, about 10, 15 minutes from where we live, we always try to go right there and try to form a community after going from one place to another. But yes, and there we even helped with the preparation of a large celebration for La Virgen de Guadalupe. You, like my children, always help us, we also try to provide a little help there. And yes, you always see the same people, it’s how I feel that it’s like people adapt to a place and you say, “That’s my community, and that’s where I go.” But from time to time, you start seeing different, strange people, and they join the community. That makes us feel more like, as if we were at home. Well, for one, Mexico is one’s place.
Cynthia: Mmm. Next question. Family is super important to me. I know it’s just as important to you. And thank God, like I said, we have a lot of family. I have many uncles and cousins close by, but if they weren’t here, if it was just us, how do you think you would feel?
Gricelda: Ahm yes, we are a lot of family on both sides. I have many sisters and brothers who, over time, have been coming, also with your dad’s side, but I think that if they weren’t there, maybe one would have gone back or not I would not know how to tell you, because it would be more like feeling one more lonely here so far away that you say I don’t have many people, but for the same reason that little by little they started coming a little more. They came to follow me-
Cynthia: It’s just that they can’t live without you.
Gricelda: They did come to follow me. So, it was a little more. And yes, I think that it has helped one more to have more of your family of your blood here and little by little more friends, compadres, and everything.
Cynthia: Well, my next question if they weren’t here, would you have gone back? Do you think so or you don’t know?
Gricelda: I couldn’t say, maybe I already liked it here. I mean, I already really like it here too. That is a great opportunity that has been given to us and we have been able to take advantage of it. I don’t know, maybe if we had returned, but for me, it looks like you live better here, so maybe that also wanted us to make the decision to stay here.
Cynthia: What has been something that has helped you with feeling connected to your culture? I know we talked a little about the church and religion, but is there something else?
Gricelda: No basically, well, more about the church and like that also in the schools, which I had already commented on a bit. But in the school where you participate they have been putting a little more of what is the Hispanic culture and following the traditions a little. For example, the days that they celebrate something there are also celebrated here like Cinco de Mayo, giving the children the opportunity to find out what they celebrate there. And I believe that this and following the traditions in the church of how one did it there keeps one connecting a bit with the culture there, letting us not forget it, and one teaching you.
Cynthia: When you first arrived and you went to the store, did you look see a lot of things like Hispanic food or things like that? Or how did you eat?
Gricelda: At first, in the stores that you now see, there was not a Hispanic section, there was not so much Hispanic food products. Especially here in VA, because there weren’t so many Hispanics or there were small stores that only had Hispanic things and there were times when we had to go further to look. But always, well, when there wasn’t one nearby, we tried to use the products that were nearby. So that to be able to cook and continue with what one ate there. But now, little by little in each store, I have seen bigger sections of products that one uses and just as we continue to use the products from there, we also do everything from here. I think we have a mix of culture, mix of food as well.
Cynthia: Yes, last night we had what, carne asada with Alfredo pasta?
Gricelda: Yes, all mixed up
Cynthia: I liked it. It was very delicious! Thank you! Teaching culture is very important to you and dad.
Gricelda: Ah, for me, for us yes. For your father and for me we have always liked to talk about how we lived there, that it was beautiful, yes, but it was also more difficult. Very little was paid in salary. And yes, there were times when there was not, well, a lot of food sometimes at home or something, and we have always liked to talk to you about how we lived there. What a difference there is with how one lives here now. Thank God we can provide everything here. But yes. I feel that I don’t know, it’s important to talk to you about the culture there so that you also grow up with both of them, and we never leave aside what is from here with you too. We participate with what the culture here in the United States is, what the traditions are and what we must celebrate, because we feel that we are from here because we live here, and it is an opportunity that the country gave us here and we must celebrate it too.
Cynthia: Something that I remember a lot from my “childhood” was when, in the first grade we went to lunch and then when we came back, we were eating in the class instead of the cafeteria we went to the class to eat, and we were watching the inauguration of Obama and that at the time I felt a lot of pride and a sense of peace. I don’t know why, seeing someone of color being president, it was something historic. When you heard about it, do you remember how you felt?
Gricelda: Ah, yes, as you say, I think it also hit us that way. We were very pleased, not because of course not at all, not because you don’t like white people, but because we always had the feeling that, “Oh, this president could maybe give us Hispanics a better opportunity,” because in that moment it was something like that. He said that he was going to support us so yes, it was a hope that, “Oh, he is going to help us more”, this and more pride that he was there. Yes, I felt like you, that if he can help us I think. Well, everyone, your dad liked it too.
Cynthia: Yes. And when he was elected, again, he lasted eight years. So that was yes, like a feeling of pride, like feeling safe.
Gricelda: It’s true. We kind of thought that he was going to support us a little more and we said well, maybe there are better opportunities. And yes, it made us feel better.
Cynthia: What do you think about how DACA and TPS?
Gricelda: Yes, I like the opportunity, although it is for different people, well, for young people or for people from other places there. I like that people have those opportunities, I think I feel that I like that when they offer you an opportunity for something, I don’t like to waste it. Maybe I’m not right for, say, for that position, whatever, but I like to fight for it until, if I can, I do it to the best of my ability. So, for me, to give them that opportunity to have that, but that you have to do this and this and this is to fight until you make it, because there is always an opportunity in your path, and you don’t have to let it go.
Cynthia: How has your opinion of this country changed today? Now having more than 20 years here.
Gricelda: Well, I think that everything is as I heard, that you have to come and work to be able to have something and that here, if there are better opportunities than where you lived, I don’t feel that it has changed, both because the way you live here , the same thing you earn, you have to spend it and the same time, you have to pay expenses, bills and everything. But yes, I don’t feel like it has, even if you say, “Oh, no, I looked at it differently” because I know that if it has, if you want to have something, then you have to work for it if you don’t have to keep going or what sometimes you say, “ no, I don’t like this job” the other, but you always have to fight [for what you want] because well we are in this country, and I think I have understood that nothing is free if you don’t work for it, so for me working for something that you want and do a project or your work, whatever, in the end, when you have it, it is a satisfaction that you put your best effort for it. So, I don’t feel like the country has changed that much. Yes, in some aspects it has and now there are better opportunities with like how I told you about language.
Cynthia: Yes, I remember when I went to Orlando for a field trip when I got there at the airport, everything was in Spanish. And I said well, where am I?
Gricelda: Yes, that’s what I think that has been one of the changes in places where you couldn’t find Hispanic things before, so to speak. You already see many signs that, just as they are in English, are in Spanish or are in another language. And I think that, that is some of the changes that have changed, that there has been more, more culture, more language. Also, in places like doctors’ offices. There are now many more opportunities that if you don’t have a person working there who speaks your language, they find someone a translator over the phone. Several times I have been in a place, a medical center, or something and someone arrives who does not know how to speak English, and if I can help them with pleasure, many times I have. Because you always have to try to help someone who can’t, because at some point I had to live the same thing.
Cynthia: Yes. I have a friend at school who is studying that, to be a medical translator and being with the doctors. And I also know many people who want to be teachers. So, they are also trying to learn Spanish because there are many children who did not know English very well, like me.
Gricelda: Yes, now, speaking of translating, I have had occasions that you, both of your brothers, have had a chance at school that a little boy of a certain age arrives, eight years old or something, who has never lived here and can’t speak anything. And sometimes they tell me, “Mom, today they asked me to help this child because he can’t speak.” And they told me where to take him and what class he had to go to. And I have always told them, I think it also happened to you on some occasions, help whenever you can. The teacher always told them, “Oh, you help me because I know you understand English and Spanish,” in our case we have always tried to make it possible for both languages to be spoken here at home. Although your brother, the youngest, doesn’t speak much, but he understands it well. It’s just a little more difficult for him. But yes, you always have to help, and you have always done it too. Thank you.
Cynthia: Thanks for teaching us.
Gricelda: Thank you for listening to us about our culture.
Cynthia: I love hearing about it. I think I talked about this a little on a discussion board, so I didn’t tell you, but it was like, speaking of, I don’t know what, but I remembered Mrs. Miller and when I was just starting Kindergarten.
Gricelda: Yes.
Cynthia: And I couldn’t speak English very well, I mean, yes, because of work, like when I went with you the kids helped me, and then we got a TV, and I could speak more or less, but still, like there were things that I couldn’t say. So, she struggled a lot, but she was a very kind person and I feel that she has helped many families.
Gricelda: Yes, even I still see her in one of the schools where your brother goes, and she has never forgotten you. Yes, she always remembers Cynthia, she is a very good teacher, and she has always had many Hispanic students and I think they all love her very much. So, sometimes because of the way you act, you win people over and she, although she saw that you sometimes had problems with pronunciation or something, she was very patient. So, yes, you always find good people.
Cynthia: And she was like one of the first people, I think, that I felt very supported by in school.
Gricelda: Yes.
Cynthia: Yes, but a very good person. We have come across other people like this. But she is like my favorite and the first that comes to mind. And I know that it’s probably the same for you.
Gricelda: Yes, yes, yes. We still see her every now and then. I also had the opportunity to meet her through a job because she was a friend of my employers, so she was more like your teacher and we knew each other away from the school environment and up to now she still remembers you.
Cynthia: Yes. Did you know that this was going to become your home, like the United States?
Gricelda: I think that when we came, it was the mentality that we were going to work a little and try to build a little house there [Mexico] to be able to live and work, live from what one works for. But later, over time, we saw better opportunities for you. And I think that the truth is, at first I didn’t think that this was like, “I’m going to stay here,” because it was even one of the promises that was made to my parents, that we’re going to return. We are only going for a short time. And we ended up staying here, but I like it here. I feel very comfortable. I think that, if I were to think now, no, I wouldn’t have changed the way things happened, I wouldn’t have left later on because I know you live better here. Sure, working every day. And sometimes yes, there are days when you say it’s heavy. But well, as I tell you, you cannot win something just by stretching out your hand, you have to work for it. And now yes, I consider it my home here, because I have lived more years here than there.
Cynthia: Yes, yes. Something that Pops said the other day, that’s how he used to, I don’t know if he thought like that before, but he said, living to work, but now working to live. What do you think of that?
Gricelda: There are many people who dedicate their life to work. So, you are living more to work. I’m going to work, work, work. And there are people who say, “No, I’m going to live from my work from what I earn there.” I think he and I thought the same. You don’t have to be living for work. You have to live from work and not always be focused on pure, work, work, work, because there are things in life that go away from you. Time is passing. I think we have not done so badly with you guys. We always share things at home with you guys. Thank God I had the opportunity, even though we were working, to bring you guys with us so y’all didn’t have to go with a nanny. Well, I guess I was kind of like y’all’s nanny, but yes, you don’t have to live just for it. One has to try to live, yes from what you earn, but not always be focused on work because it is not everything. You have to make a space in life for rest, because the work continues, and you get old. But the work continues, you can’t stop that one.
Cynthia: Yes, I also remember that before you guys said, well I don’t think you said this but something along the idea that you need to have a lot of money, but money is not everything. I know that in this country nothing is free, as you said and you need to work, but I think you have to keep in mind, you are a person and not everything is about having a lot of money. And sometimes the people who have a lot of money and who are rich are not happy.
Gricelda: It’s true, yes, I think a time has come when we all think we have to work, work to have a lot of money or have this, have that. And right now, well, what I think what is most important is feeling good, not feeling that you are or want to be rich and that you are poor. I feel very happy with what I have. Everything has been labor force. But it is true that money is not that important. Yes, the way to cover your expenses and what one needs is important, but it is not that you have to live for it. You have to have the mindset that yes I am going to pay for this and that but not always be focused on it because it is not everything. There are families, like you even say yes, they have a lot of money, and you say, “Oh, it looks great, they have this and that,” but sometimes you see them looking angry, bitter, and they’re not happy. I see money as it’s not everything. As long as you have balance in that and keep in mind that not, because you are rich, you will be happy. And I am happy with what I have. Well, I’m not rich, but I feel good. I feel very happy. I believe that I have good health, children, my house and for me that is important.
Cynthia: And your dog too!
Gricelda: And my dog too, who loves me very much! Yes, it’s very nice. I would always like you guys to be with that, that family is the most important thing.
Cynthia: Yes, and for me it is, I don’t like being away from you.
Gricelda: Yes, I think that was difficult. When you went to school. It made me very sad because we are closer. Yes, you are my only daughter. But I also understand that I can’t clip your wings just because I want to have you close. That’s why I’m always bothering you, come visit me. Sometimes I try not to bother you that much, but it’s to give you your space. And also, so that you grow a little bit on your own away from your family, so you realize that you do need your family. But yes, you already know that with us you will always have your home.
Cynthia: Yes. Well, I think that’s all the questions, do you want to say anything else?
Gricelda: Yes, thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to talk a little about how I felt when I arrived and the culture of what one has there in Mexico and also here. And thanks to you for always taking us into account as your family and of course we are always here to support you in whatever way you can.
Cynthia: Thank you for everything.
Gricelda: Thank you, I love you very much
Cynthia: I can’t imagine another mom.
Gricelda: Thank you mija.
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