Interview with Rehana
Introduction: For my interview, I chose my best friend’s mother, Rehana. I thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to get to know her story better, as I knew little about her journey to the United States, despite knowing her for many years. This interview gave me a more personal lens to view immigration from, the emotions attached to it, and the paths a person can take to achieve it. I interviewed Rehana in her home while I was back in my hometown.
Summary: Rehana is from Pakistan, born in the city of Karachi. She was born into a family with nine siblings! She remembers fondly the food, friends to shop with close to her home, bicycling around town, and her family. She lived in Pakistan until she was 25 years old. Rehana, at 21, married her husband in December of 1990. A few years later, she came to the United States when her husband finished his master’s degree in the U.S. and found a good job to support their family. They have 3 children, 1 born in Pakistan and 2 born in the U.S. She has lived here ever since, with visits back to her family in Pakistan.
Migration: A big dimension of reception for Rehana’s migration process is the sacrifice that married couples make together. She stated that she desired to come to the United States before her engagement and marriage, but it only came to fruition once she met her husband. A pull factor would be the higher education and job prospects in the United States. Her husband was able to acquire the necessary higher education for a steady job. Since he was in the United States already, it was easier to acquire an immigration visa for Rehana and their then 18-month-old daughter. Coming to a new country from far away (a nearly 20-hour plane ride!) lends itself to a mixture of emotions. As Rehana elaborates, “I felt so excited to come here. But after I came here, I was alone. I missed my family.” There are positive and negative emotions associated with an enormous life change such as crossing continents to start a new life. The excitement of adventure, new scenery, a whole new world you get to experience. On the other hand, there can be visceral anxiety, intense isolation from leaving your family and what is familiar to you. Luckily for Rehana and her family, faith was the foundation for so many meaningful connections. Religion and the attitudes of the sending or receiving country can either be a push or pull factor for migration. Pakistan is a majority Muslim country, so coming to the United States where the opposite is true, definitely was not a pull factor. What is a pull factor, was/is the growing Muslim community in Rehana’s hometown.
Integration: Building upon the aforementioned faith community, the connections built by attending mosque seem integral to Rehana’s integration into her life in the United States. She is a faithful Muslim. As put by her, “We find each other there (referring to mosque). And then we call each other. And then, we get together more, they come over for dinner. The first time we meet, I call them to come over please to my home for dinner, for a get together. We get to know each other and then they will invite me to their home, and for sleepovers for our kids, our kids to hang out with each other and then after a month we have a coffee party. That kind of thing. I met one person and then she knows another two people. You know, it is a chain, like a chain of friends.” I love how she described this as a chain of friends, which is why I chose to include it in the title. Like many social networks we build, it is all about who knows who, especially who knows you. The chain-building of friendships, and families knowing each other, further builds the networks that bring and sustain immigrants to a particular area. It solidifies pull factors to more immigrants who are looking to make the journey, or maybe do not have a choice. Another factor in this network building is the likeness of language. Finding friends and families who speak your first language, and who have possibly lived in the same home country, is gratifying and a great comfort to hold. Rehana regarded this as creating even more excitement when she met new friends who she could speak to in Urdu.
Conclusion: All in all, I enjoyed interviewing Rehana very much. Her pride in being a Pakistani-American and a Muslim is palpable and she is a wonderful woman, wife, and mother. Learning about her story gave me insight to not only her family, but to the choices, feelings, and factors that immigrants consider when coming to the United States in particular. Applying the themes of this course have been greatly helpful to this project, but also understanding immigration in a new light. She has always welcomed me into her home, with good hospitality and plenty of food on the table.
Rehana: …school or other things and I miss them a lot and I miss when I bicycled with my friends after we finished homework. Of course, we miss our relatives, our street, and our mosque. We used to go for the Holy Qur’an lessons twice a week. And that’s all about it. I miss a lot, a lot of street food.
Anna: Street food, okay. What was the best?
Rehana: Samosas.
Anna: Samosa, okay.
Rehana: Yeah, and chana papdi.
Anna: Okay. Have you made that before?
Rehana: Yeah. And all the sweets, Pakistani sweets.
Anna: Okay. Wonderful. Since you said you lived there for 23 years, that leads into my next question. What age were you when you came to the United States?
Rehana: I was 25 years old when I came here.
Anna: Of course, you married your husband, Raheem! When did you marry him?
Rehana: I married him in 1990. December 21st.
Anna: Oh, wow. Yeah. It’s coming up, your anniversary! And how old were you?
Rehana: I was 21 years old. I got married and then after two years, I came here. Two or three years, yeah, twenty-five, yeah, almost.
Anna: What was it like for you coming here? How and why kind of was that decision made? Was it both of you, was it kind of the circumstances you were in?
Rehana: No, he came before because he got his master’s degree in Maryland University. And after that he proposed to me, then I got married to him. He applied me for an immigration visa, and then I came here after.
Anna: Okay. So, he was here first?
Rehana: He came before. And he got his master’s in the United States.
Anna: Okay, wonderful. And how did you feel about that? Were you just kind of like, this is what we must do? Or were you kind of like, ahhh?
Rehana: Yeah. Because he was living here. I felt so excited to come here. But after I came here, I was alone. I missed my family and my older one (referring to oldest daughter born in Pakistan). She was 18 months old, Aysha. My first baby. She was 18 months old at that time. She was with me. So, it was kind of fun.
Anna: That’s good. Yes. My goodness. Did you know anyone besides your husband in the United States prior to immigrating?
Rehana: Is there anyone I knew of that lived here? Yes, my husband’s two siblings live here before me, and of course some Pakistani friends which I didn’t know before, but we went to the mosque and we met there.
Anna: And did you live in Maryland first?
Rehana: No. My flight came into Washington, D. C. first, and then we drove here to (hometown) because my husband works in General Electric Company, so we drove here. I never lived in Maryland.
Anna: That checks off my next question. Was Roanoke chosen for you all to live in and start your family more. Was it just because of his job?
Rehana: Because he has a job. He worked here. Worked for General Electric.
Anna: In terms of how you felt about coming to the United States, did you feel positively or negatively about it? And did that change or stay the same, you know, throughout the entire time that you’ve been here?
Rehana: Before I was nervous because I came alone without my family, my mom and dad behind me. But when I came here and had my husband with me, then I felt much better. Especially with my first baby born, she was born in Pakistan. So, it was easier for me to settle down because I have a baby already. I’m busy with her all the time. Before I came here, I was nervous.
Anna: And so, I’m assuming, are you a naturalized citizen?
Rehana: Yes, naturalized.
Anna: Okay. When did that path start?
Rehana: For naturalization? About four years I got my green card and then I took the green card from Pakistan to come here first and then I applied for naturalization after three years after I came here. And then I applied for naturalization. So I got my American passport after five years.
Anna: After five years, okay. That’s not too bad.
Rehana: This was 1995.
Anna: Because for some people it takes like 20 years or something.
Rehana: Now it takes too long because so many people are applying. That time it did not take too long.
Anna: In terms of becoming a naturalized citizen, did you kind of feel American before or after that process, or?
Rehana: Hmm, I think I had before. It doesn’t matter. Passport or green card. It’s matter you like this. I like the people here who are so nice and friendly. My neighbors are so friendly. They accept me. I mean because I look different. I wear different dresses. So, they accept me. I feel very nice and comfortable here.
Anna: Wonderful. In terms of speaking English, did you know any English before coming?
Rehana: Yes. In Pakistan, the second language is English. I understand, but I don’t speak it there. But I understand fluently, I don’t speak English there. But we will understand pretty much everything.
Anna: Okay. And did you learn? Do they teach English in schools?
Rehana: Yes. One of our subjects is English. It’s up to you. Especially private schools always teach English. The public schools, some courses are English, some are our language. But it’s up to you. I know how to read in English and understand. Because our language is Urdu, that’s why frequently we speak our language.
Anna: Of course. Did you feel that the people that you came across and encountered here, were welcoming?
Rehana: Oh yeah. No, no, no. They are very welcoming.
Anna: Okay, good. Yes, and I feel like, I feel like you’re always talking about your neighbors, and I feel like, you know, you have good relationships with them.
Rehana: No, no, our family, yes, yes. Which is very good. It’s very good.
Anna: Yes, in terms of the community, all the families that you know and like you have parties with and get-togethers like I know a family, one of your friends was just over the other night that I briefly saw. How long did it take to find all those families and friends and build that?
Rehana: We just contact each other. We are going same mosque. The religious place, same masjid. We call masjid, in English it is called a mosque. So, we find each other there. And then we call each other. And then, we get together more, they come over for dinner. The first time we met, I called them to come over please to my home for dinner, for a get together. We get to know each other and then they will invite me to their home, and for sleepovers for our kids, our kids to hang out with each other and then after a month we have a coffee party. That kind of thing. I met one person and then she knows another two people. You know, it is a chain, like a chain of friends. So that’s the thing. Especially speaking the same language and coming from the same country, you get more excited to know them because they know you lived there, I lived there, and we sometimes went to the same college there, same school. There’s more excitement.
Anna: Yes, of course. With all the friends and the families that you know and that you’ve met, how many of them are from Pakistan?
Rehana: Yeah, all over in Roanoke, basically, is a Muslim population. I think like a thousand or two thousand people live here. Different countries, but Muslim. I’m saying Muslim because they come all in the mosque. That’s why. Otherwise, in Pakistan we know like 50 or 60 families.
Anna: Wow. Oh my goodness. That’s a lot. How many of the people that you know are good friends to you?
Rehana: Very closely. Yeah, like 12 or 15 families. We are very close to each other.
Anna: And are they all Pakistani? And do they all speak Urdu?
Rehana: Yes for both, they speak Urdu.
Anna: Did anyone you knew in Pakistan, like any of your friends or your family? Did any of them come over after you did?
Rehana: Yeah, my two close friends came over to me, yeah, after I came here. And she’s so excited I was here and we met them after maybe eight years. Yeah.
Anna: Okay. And how long was that?
Rehana: After? After I had come here, I think five years. After five or six years. Six, if I’m not wrong.
Anna: Okay. And what was the hardest part about. If you would like to answer that.
Rehana: I came here in like ‘94 and my father was sick. He had a stroke because he knew I am going (to the USA). And after two months he had another stroke because I was living there.
Anna: Oh no.
Rehana: He was very depressed about me and after six months, my mom called me to come over and I was so worried, I knew my dad had a stroke before, now a second time, he couldn’t survive. But I went there in front of him, I prayed for him. But he was so happy to see me. And after that he’s gone.
Anna: Well that’s, that’s good that you had that moment, and were able to pray for him.
Rehana: Yeah, I was there, yeah.
Anna: In terms of, this is like a big jump of a question. But I remember Farah (her youngest daughter) talking about how there was two mosques. Is there two mosques?
Rehana: Yeah, there’s two mosques here.
Anna: Do you just attend one now? Is one better than the other? Just newer?
Rehana: No, I used to go to the other one, [Redacted for privacy], and now they have a new mosque. Because most Pakistani people go, it’s a new mosque. They built a new mosque. It’s, nothing is different. Both are same religious wise. But because my friends go there, that’s why I go there. Otherwise, nothing is different. Mosque is mosque. I mean, religious places are the same everywhere. So that’s the thing. That’s why I, we went to the new Mosque because my closest friends go there.
Anna: Yes, and that’s so important too. Is there a difference, do you remember a difference between the mosque here and in Pakistan, if any?
Rehana: No, basically religion is the same here and there also. People are also the same here and there. Same prayers, same time. Like, we pray five times a day. Here and there are the same. Here is five times a day. You see less people. People are in the mosque because everyone is working. Over there, two times they give you the break for the prayer time.
Anna: Before you were married to your husband, and he came over here, got his master’s, and then got a job. Before that, did you ever consider coming to the United States?
Rehana: He proposed to me before that.
Anna: Proposed marriage?
Rehana: Yeah. Then I accepted because I wanted to come to the USA.
Anna: Okay, so, yes, even before you had met him, even before you knew him…
Rehana: I talked to him before, yeah. I talked to him. I saw his picture. I said, oh, he’s a nice guy, nice looking guy. Because I knew his family.
Anna: Yes, that’s very important. Did most of the people that you knew, your friends and family in Pakistan, did most of them want to come to the United States?
Rehana: I think 50/50.Basically, people come here to study, or their spouse, or jobs. Those kinds of things. They want to come here.
Anna: And in terms of like, you know, I guess the United States is so much larger, than Pakistan
Rehana: Exactly. It is a more established country.
Anna: What were some of the jobs that people had in Pakistan? What did your father do?
Rehana: Most of them over there are engineers. When we grow up my parents told us, the girl is doctor and boys is engineer. So, the parents always ask you, are you going to be engineer? To the boys, basically. Oh, my daughter, she goes, she wants to be a doctor. She wants to be a doctor. Do things more important there. The parents ask you. So most of the girls are going to be doctors there. And most of the boys are going to be engineers. Of course, there are other kinds of jobs, like banker or teacher, different kinds of nurses. Pakistanis do so much hand work, like crafted things, and there are a lot of carpet makers. Very good carpets. Pakistani carpet is nice handmade carpet. It’s a big established line of work there.
Anna: Okay. Like some of these carpets? (Referencing carpets in her home)
Rehana: Yeah, some of these carpets.
Anna: Okay. Wow. And so, do they sell those in, like would they sell them on the street or in stores?
Rehana: In the stores. They import and export also. It’s a good quality silk carpet. Yeah, it’s a very big business in Pakistan. Also cotton imports and export. Very good cotton. Even you can see sometimes, Polo made in Pakistan tags, and Old Navy has made in Pakistan tags too. Especially sheets and comforters. Lots of GAP’s clothing are from Pakistan.
Anna: Oh my goodness. Yeah. Wow. Did people go into making clothes there?
Rehana: Yeah, textiles. We have a big textile industry there. In the capital, one area is called Faisalabad. They have all the fabric factories there.
Anna: And so going back to the options of engineer and doctor. Did you ever think that you wanted to be a doctor?
Rehana: No. No. I don’t want to be a doctor.
Anna: Me either. Oh my goodness. Are there a lot of doctors that are women?
Rehana: Yes. My sister-in-law is a doctor, and my cousin is a doctor. My one nephew’s a doctor.
Anna: Oh my goodness. Yeah. That’s a lot of doctors.
Rehana: In our family there are so many doctors and engineers also.
Anna: Okay, let’s quick circle back to the first two questions I asked you because I realized early into the interview it was not recording, so we’re just going to go back, but we got everything else. I am sorry for re-asking these questions.
Rehana: No, that’s okay. That’s okay. You can go ahead.
Anna: So the first one was when and where were you born?
Rehana: I was born in Pakistan, Karachi, province Karachi, 1968.
Anna: And this is Rehana, my best friend’s mom. What do you remember about Pakistan?
Rehana: I remember my hometown, my friends, my school, my college. Of course, the good food there. I miss that a lot. The street food. I remember my apartment. My friends lived in the downstairs apartment, and we talked to each other at nighttime. Everything is close to each other.
Anna: How did you travel around; do you walk or bike or?
Rehana: I biked a lot. And I also walked with my mom at nighttime.
Anna: Were cars used a lot?
Rehana: Yes, the same, like cars here. We park in the street. We have garages also. Yeah, we have villas style home there.
Anna: But you could bike much easier because like, it would take you forever to bike around here!
Rehana: We did not drive there much because we could not afford it. We have nine siblings. My parents could not afford nine insurances for all the kids or nine cars. So, we used to have two cars. My older brother and my dad had the cars. So, two cars were enough for us.
Anna: Yeah, exactly. You make it work.
Rehana: And we had a school bus that came and picked up us. So, we didn’t need cars much there because, you know, it’s a very close area, all the streets, the street food were very close to our home. It was not like here, like you have a residential area that is a different side from the commercial area. Like Kroger is in a different area than the residential. We could just walk down and buy things in the street! We shopped downstairs.
Anna: Oh, that sounds so lovely.
Rehana: So we don’t need a car. Just like in New York, like Manhattan, you don’t need a car. We live just like how they live in New York.
Anna: Really?
Rehana: Yeah, you just get around and do everything.
Anna: Exactly. I like that.
Rehana: And it’s hard to drive there, and we could not afford it. So, we only had two cars. For nine siblings. Ten, eleven. Yeah. It’s total.
Anna: Oh my goodness. Alright. Well, thank you so much.
Rehana: Oh, you’re welcome. Thank you for choosing me for your interview.
Anna: Yes, absolutely.
Rehana: I hope you like it.
Anna: Yes. Lovely to learn more about you and where you came from.
Rehana: Thank you.
Anna: Okay, I’m ending the recording now.
Recent Comments