Interview with Janet Smith, History 150 Spring 2020, Conducted by Ashlyn Campbell, Conducted March 16, 2020.

Biography:

I interviewed my grandmother, Janet Smith. Janet Smith was born in 1951 in Texas, and in the late 70’s she and my grandfather adopted my mother and my uncle, who is mixed. They later had two children of their own. My grandfather was in the military, so they moved around quite a bit before moving back to Texas and she worked in a few places as her children got older.

Research:

Family structure has evolved dramatically over the years.  In the 1950s family dynamics took a sharp turn to new domesticity. The “Nuclear Family” consisting of a breadwinning husband, his wife who cared for the children and two children became the “ideal” and “epitomized the economically stable family unit. This was short-lived and starting in the 1960’s more women were working part- or full-time jobs. In the 1970s women continued to work more and the average number of children a woman would have was 3. The 1970s was also a time that there was a large number of adoptions.

In 1970 there was an increase in adoptions, with 175,000 children being adopted. Prior to 1970, matching children to homes that looked like the children in terms of race/ethnicity was extremely common. Prior to the mid-1960s, transracial adoptions were outliers and even after civil rights laws, some states continued to ban interracial adoptions into the 1970s. Mixed children were often seen as harder to place in homes as a result. The federal courts struck down the last state bans on transracial adoption by 1972.

Also in 1972, the  National Association of Black Social Workers issued a statement against the placement of black children in white homes and called transracial adoption “unnatural”.

Citations:

Angier, Natalie. “The Changing American Family.” The New York Times, 26 Nov. 2013, www.nytimes.com/2013/11/26/health/families.html.

Coleman, Marilyn, and Lawrence H Ganong. The Social History of the American Family : An Encyclopedia. Volume 1 A – E. Los Angeles ; London ; New Delhi ; Singapore ; Washington Dc Sage Reference, 2014.

Herman, Ellen. “Adoption History.” Uoregon.Edu, 24 Feb. 2012, pages.uoregon.edu/adoption.

 Kinship by Design : A History of Adoption in the Modern United States. Chicago, University Of Chicago Press, 2008.

“The Evolution of American Family Structure.” Concordia University, St. Paul Online, 23 June 2015, online.csp.edu/blog/family-science/the-evolution-of-american-family-structure.

Transcript of Interview:

Ashlyn Campbell: Alright, um, I don’t know if you want to like, say your name, introduce yourself

Janet Smith:  A little bio or something? Okay. Are you ready for me to start? My name is Janet Travis Smith. And I was born July 15, 1951, in Wichita Falls, Texas, at Sheppard Air Force Base. And since I was a military brat, I moved all over all my life. Spent a lot of time in different places overseas.

AC: Okay, so why did you decide to adopt and then how old were you and grandpa when you decided to adopt?

Janet Smith: Well, we- I got married June 15, 1968, at the age of 16. And after about three years, we wanted a baby right away. You know, and within about a year, but anyway, it didn’t happen. So, I went through the all the infertility workup, which isn’t fun. And then at 19, they told me I could never have children. So, by the time I was 22, we decided that when he was 25 that we wanted to adopt, it felt like that’s what God put in our paths. And so, we didn’t have any naturally. So, we started trying to adopt then. We were in Germany at the time. And we had a landlord, who had worked for the agency and had adopted in these adoptions over there that we were working on was an open adoption where we would meet the parents. And she found a girl that was married a German girl, and she wasn’t sure if her baby was going to be white like her husband or part black, like her boyfriend she was gonna give him up for adoption. And we talked with her she decided she wanted to give us her baby to raise. And we went through all the paperwork and all the emotional getting attached and seeing, you know her stomach grow all of that. And when she had him it was a little boy and we went to the hospital and was supposed to pick him up. And he turned out to be black, which didn’t make any difference to us.

AC: Yeah.

Janet Smith: But we did not know that one of these friends that we bowled with had found out about her too, and they beat us up to the hospital. And her husband was a black soldier and she was white German, and they changed her mind. So, when we baby we were crushed. And we had a few more experiences like that. So, we held off to we come back to the States. And then I was 25. And he was 28. And we’ve been married almost nine years, we decided that it was now or never. So, we went through the Catholic Children’s Home Society of Washington where we were at. And those adoptions you didn’t meet, the parents didn’t know anything, you know, just the medical and that was it. So, we did all that.

AC: Can you describe what the adoption process was like for here and like the differences between Germany and then for here in the United States?

Janet Smith: Well, since we really didn’t go that much through the companies that were there, it was completely different being in plus being open adoption and close through the counseling. They didn’t want you to meet the parents [in the US]. But you went through a big process you know, you went through all the interviews and the background checks of all your background, financials, and they interviewed all your references. And you gave a big fee up front and was not guaranteed any child, which stopped lot of people but at the home study and then they want to know what you will accept. And for us, we wanted what we call the hard- they call it hard to place child. They had a lot of mixed-race children up there, and that most people did not want them. And for some that didn’t get, you know, adopted what right away for some reason, it might be a little bit older. And we think we would take up to like two years old, you know, but I was hoping for a baby but… and then of course we were surprised when they called in and said “You can come pick up your baby tomorrow we have a little girl for you”.

AC: Yeah.

Janet Smith: And when we went to get her, we were really surprised because we couldn’t understand why she was placed on the hard to adopt list. She was a little tiny, perfectly white Baby, you know, kind of hairy. But she was three months old. And there had been, I guess a mix-up with her paperwork or something that slowed it down. So, she was adopted straight from the hospital was why. So, we got her, and it was just really exciting. And so, we signed right back up to get another one while we were there, hoping to have two children at least to raise because we wanted them to have siblings. And then we were called a year later to pick up our son and he was a mixed race. Little fat little Buddha jolly and we got him, and we thought, okay, our family’s complete now.

AC: Can you describe what it was like to adopt and raise a child, a mixed child at the time that it was not super usual to adopt children of different races?

Janet Smith: Well, we found most places we were at it wasn’t a big problem because we were around the military. When you get out of- away from the military. It’s a little harder.

AC: Oh okay, right.

Janet Smith: And you know, people, they do stop and look, but with me, I didn’t always realize, he was just so cute. I thought, oh, they’re coming over to see him, he’s just so cute and smiling. But I think a lot of times they weren’t sure. You know, and they wanted to be nosy and all but it just didn’t dawn on me because we forgot he was black. He was just a family, you know, and He was just our beautiful son. And I think our whole family was like that.

AC: Yeah

Janet Smith: I know when he was little, someone told his sister Nicole that you have a black brother. She was probably three or four.

AC: Yeah?

Janet Smith: She looked at him and she says, No, he’s not. He’s Brown. When you make white and black, you get brown, what’s wrong with them? You know? Things like that. And, of course, I had people ask me why we adopted, a mixed child. And there would be people that would look at us as a family. And I’ve had them say, “Oh, is that your husband?” And I got to a point sometimes, depending on the people, where I would jokingly say, “Oh, he’s mine from a previous marriage.” [laughing] Just coming up and got him up and they walked off. But I don’t think he really had problems, Shawn didn’t until we move back to Texas. And I didn’t realize how prejudiced Texas was at that time course that’s been a lot of years ago. And there were issues. Unfortunately, but he grew into such a good boy and a man that I think, and a lot of people didn’t realize that he was part black either, you know, with his he was light skinned and then with all of our family, they just got just got to know him. You know, but I did have people at church even that are supposed to be real good Christians. You know, ask me, “why did you adopt him?” You know? And I said, “God gave them to us.”

AC: Yeah. Can you- do you have any examples of when you got back to Texas where, like people were prejudiced against Shawn, that you can think of?

Janet Smith: I think- I know one time somebody called him a name. And Douglas got in a fight with them. But then another time when we lived in Henrietta, I think the same thing happened. And a friend of his gotten a fight. You know, he had good friends that stuck up for him.

AC: Yeah, that’s good.

Janet Smith: I know he had some issues and quit football. I’m not sure you know, exactly. But he didn’t want to go foot out on the out of trip football anymore. And I know the coaches were prejudiced at that time. But aside from that, I don’t think there were any real issues and as a family there certainly weren’t. Oh, yeah, it was But.

AC: So, speaking of Doug, how long or how long after adopting my mom and Shawn, did you have uncle Doug and Uncle Tim?

Janet Smith: Well, you know, they [Shawn and Nicole] were 13 months apart. And then three and a half years later, I had Tim, and then three years later had Doug. So, there’s a little bit of a span there. Yeah, and of course. They all ganged up on Doug being the baby.

AC: Can you describe a time we’re having both adopted children and biological children impacted the family dynamic?

Janet Smith: Well, there’s always medical issues that come up. And one thing when they were younger, your mom and Shawn would tease Tim and Doug. And then Tim and Doug would come back to them and they’d say, well “We’re the real kid, Y’all aren’t real, you were adopted?” Well, they would come back with “No, we’re the chosen kids. You’re the ones they got stuck with and couldn’t get back”, you know, but I think with me, um the main thing with me was, oh, oh, just loving them and trying to you know, you’d love your kids all differently depending on not whether they’re adopted or biological. Anyway, that’s how I am just because they’re different. And so, you’re going to love them differently and they’re going to need different time.

AC: Right, as a mother, do you feel like you experienced any challenges when adopting and raising adopted children?

Janet Smith: Well, I didn’t like it when you were real inquiring about their background. That was the challenge for me. It didn’t- it was none of their business and it didn’t matter how old their parents were, they didn’t need the, you know, the specifics. And then I guess the main thing with me was [pause] I always wondered how much of them was biological and hope that both of them turned out so great. And such loving, you know, mature, responsible adults. That I always wondered and hope that I had some influence over them. And something that I had done with my love and my raising them had helped turn them into the people they were, you know.

AC: I’m gonna go back to Uncle Doug and Uncle Tim, because you guys were told that you couldn’t have children. And then you ended up having children. So how, how did you figure that out? And how did that like process go? I guess.

Janet Smith: Well, I was 30 years old when Tim was born. And we’d been together a lot of years. 14, you know, and at that time you don’t think. But that happens to a lot of couples that adopt. Yeah. And it was just one of those miracles, but I wasn’t surprised, really. I always thought I would have a child, deep down. But then when I went and had the testing, I said, there’s something wrong with me and they said, Oh, you’re pregnant. And there’s a line of people- and I said no! “Now I can’t have kids. I’m not pregnant. You’re wrong.” And so that was kind of scary [laughing]. But I did find out that if I had- there’s no difference in adopting and having your child after you have that first one. I mean, nine months, there is something to feeling one grow and, but it goes so fast and it’s so much easier to adopt [laughing].

AC: [laughing] Yeah.

Janet Smith: Both of mine were c sections. So the bonding with them, I didn’t bond right away with your mother. I- they, they had told us the mother had six months to change her mind.

AC: Oh?

Janet Smith: So, I was in a panic over that and I didn’t want to lose her. And so, I really took me a while with her just because I was afraid to with Shawn I bonded immediately. It was like just- and with Tim it took me a while too because I went through such a hard labor with pain. So, it’s kind of funny, it was like, I don’t know if I even want to hold you you know [laughing]. And then of course I got to feeling better and woke up. It was different but it did take me a while he was so hard delivery and everything about him and he had jaundice and he had blood into the scalp, and I thought, oh, now I’m going to have a retarded child. Not that it mattered, you know, because asking hard to place we also had said we would take handicapped children. And but then Douglas, he was my last, so I knew that, you know, but that’s the main thing as far as between them, you know?

AC:  Yeah. All right. Um… [pause] sorry. Have you noticed a change in family structure or dynamics from when you were a child to having children to now?

Janet Smith: Let’s see, tell ya what before I answer that. Let me tell you one other thing that was kind of- you’d asked about. When we did adopt, Shawn. We moved right after he was born about two weeks, and that did kind of help me feel easier about him. But we moved to Tennessee at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. And we had to go through the process again. And we had to wait a year before we could finalize because their process. And they had come the social worker, [who] had thought that we did not need him that he didn’t need to be on our home because he was part black.

AC: Mm?

Janet Smith: And we couldn’t give him the culture that he needed. And that there was something I found really disturbing, because we’ve had nearly two years by the time we finalized and that’s kind of, nowadays, that’s different. You know, yeah, I look as much at race but as far as the structure changes, and it just you mean in general.

AC: Yeah. From like, anything that you noticed from like when you were a kid, to like when you were like having children and then even now.

Janet Smith: Well as a kid, most people Mothers, their kids were their top priority. They didn’t you know, work outside the home like they do now there were family units. And I think it was probably easier as far as motherhood went, but and started having more divorces. But even in my generation of motherhood, there was still so many stay at home moms

AC: Right.

Janet Smith: And you enjoyed things like more raising your children, and we did it in different ways. But I think nowadays, it’s just so different and I really have a fear for the generation coming up that’s been raised the younger one, because divorce is so prevalent in today’s society. The mixed families, children stepmothers don’t seem to fill that gap and love their child. You know, they love their children differently. And the kids are kind of left out. There’s fathers raising kids. And I think it’s just a different society and a lot of mothers just don’t even want kids nowadays. And abortion is so easily had. And that, to me definitely showed the lack of love and putting a child first. Because there’s always families that will adopt them. But that’s- that’s about the differences I see in the generations [with] motherhood.

AC: Yeah, that’s really interesting. Um, so my mom told me that you worked a couple different places as when she was a kid. So where were some of the places that you worked over the years and then can you describe how being a working mother influenced the family dynamic?

Janet Smith: Well, I mostly when they were little stayed home. I had home daycares. So they did have other children to contend with.

AC: Yeah.

Janet Smith: But I think that was my best option. And I was very fortunate to be able to do that because it gave me time to spend with them. And then, I guess she was probably in probably almost Junior High before I went to work. And I went to work as an office manager at Smith X Ray. And I can remember she didn’t like it at first. She told me, “Well, I don’t come home to the smell of homemade cookies. You’re not here for me to tell you everything.” [laughing]. I think she was spoiled to that my all of them were and she missed coming home alone and not being able to have me there to talk to. And I don’t know, maybe children don’t miss that, that don’t have it. But they don’t know what they’re missing either. You know. So I think working mothers have to really spend a lot of extra time and effort. You know, for the time that they do miss. But I’ve worked through the years at different places and those daycares at home were nice but then when the kids got older, I felt like I needed to get out and socialize more too.

AC: Yeah!

Janet Smith: But even when I worked in banks for years, and I am the operations which I really did enjoy that. But then after that I had parents to worry about and started having grandchildren to worry about [laughing]. And I know I didn’t have to take it on, but I enjoy them as much as I did my children. And so, I started working at a laundry at the tech at the laundry and the we took in dry cleaning. And I could have them come up there after school and sit and do their homework, watch TV. And but I think that it does sometimes affect kids when you were, but it probably if they grow up with that, I don’t think it’s quite as effective as long as the parents, you know, are there to really spend the extra time. But I am glad that I mean like your mother, she’s always been such a good, any job she’s had. She’s at the top of the line. I’m so proud of her. But I know she still spent plenty of time with you kids when she was off work.

AC: Yeah.

Janet Smith: And I know a lot of people don’t do that they’re more selfish nowadays. And they want their time.

AC:  Right, well Thank you so much. This was so interesting.

Janet Smith: I hoped that helped you!

Overview and Conclusion:

I conducted this interview over skype and just used the audio recorder on my laptop. I cut out the very end because there were a couple seconds of me just explaining what I was going to do but other than that it was pretty straight forward. I really enjoyed interviewing her, there were a lot of things that I learned about, like I had no idea that they had tried to adopt while they were in Germany. I wish I hadn’t interjected with things like “yeah” so often because it was kind of distracting. I also didn’t realize that I was way quieter than her, because it wasn’t coming from the speakers on my computer. If I were to do this again, I would plan out how I would introduce and end the interview, because I didn’t do that, and it was a little awkward. I would also write down the questions that I have during the interview, so I didn’t forget and have to come back to the topic like I did.