Interview with Léa
Introduction
Léa, a 20 year old college student now living in Virginia, is originally from Toulouse, a city located in the south of France. After living the first thirteen years of her life in France, her family packed their things and headed for the United States. Lèa, her older sister, and her parents have since been living in Virginia for the past seven years, and have experienced much change in their identity due to the change in location. In an interview, Léa describes a number of push and pull factors leading t
o their migration, her experiences adjusting to new cultures, and the intersection of identities that drive her away from being a part of one singular group.
Migration
Family and network ties are often a large factor in one’s migration, and in Léa’s case, the theme persists. Her mom is a second generation American from New York, with parents from Paris. Her father is from France, but met her mother in the United States. They elected to move to France in order to be closer to her dad’s family in France and Spain, where Léa and her sister would soon be born.
When Léa was thirteen, her grandfather in America fell ill with cancer, and her mom was told “he didn’t have much time left.” With this, her mom “decided that it was time to move back to the United States to be closer to her family.” Once again, Léa’s parents moved continents to be with those they held closest to their hearts – family; only this time they had a couple little ones to accompany them. For generations, family ties have played a significant role in the story of Léa’s family and their migration, influencing their life and bringing them closer together.
Like many, Léa’s migration was no easy bout. She described having to sell many of their things, such as “technology and appliances,” because they would not be compatible in the United States. This, then, also included having to buy all of these things once they arrived, along with having to buy a house in their new ‘home.’ During this process, she and her family had to be away from her father as he tried to sell their home, all while going through the documentation processes of immigration. Because Léa’s mother was from the United States, she and her sister had already gotten their U.S. citizenship; this was not the case for her father. While they were trying to start their new life in Virginia, her dad was stuck in France, and her mother worried sick that he would not be able to join them. Léa describes the time as “really stressful,” with her parents having “to go to D.C. and go through interviews,” being asked extremely specific questions about one another to prove they were married. She told that some of the hardest parts of the whole experience were that her dad “had to come here by himself,” and that they “knew he’s [their] dad,” but having to prove it was both insulting and strenuous.
So, with all these challenges presented alongside the task of migration, why leave? What other factors may have been at play? At the time of their decision to depart, France had just elected a new president, and the economy was “going all over the place.” Léa’s parents worried that their children would not havea lot of opportunity for “dreams” in their future, and that they would face much hardship. The state of the French economy, then, acted as a push factor that played a part in her family leaving home.
If the economy pushed them out of France, other forces had to gravitate them to the United States. As described above, family was a major pull. Her grandfather’s condition was worsening, and Léa’s mom realized she wanted to be close to her family before it was too late. Additionally, her parents felt the United States offered “more opportunities” for her and her sister, ones they would not have in France. Ultimately, their decision to leave France came down to opportunity and family, two very common factors influencing migration around the world. Léa had to leave her friends, loved ones, and what she’d “always known” behind, venturing into a country that would offer new possibilities, much change, and many challenges.
Integration
Once Léa and her family had gotten settled in America and the migration process was over, their journey through integration was only just beginning. They were in a new place, not one just geographically different from their home, but also socially, culturally, and linguistically distant from what she had always known. She would have to learn new social norms, a new language, and a new way of life that contradicted what had always been true to her.
One of the first experiences of culture shock that Léa remembers after moving to the United States occurred at The Dollar Tree. Léa explained stores such as The Dollar Tree were “non-existent” in France, but that was only the beginning of the culture shock that would incur. When checking out, her and her father realized they were missing just a few cents. A lady in front of them turned around and offered them the money. While this may seem like solely a nice gesture and nothing more to an American, her and her fathers reaction was “what is she doing? This is weird, people in France would never turn around and give you 50 cents like that.” This scenario depicts how what may seem like a minuscule aspect of a society to those living in it can be out-worldly for one just joining it.
While the Dollar Tree story is a more light-hearted example of culture shock, Léa also described a darker side to the concept in terms of social and political aspects. One example she gave was the usage of the N-word she heard in middle school from white people. When hearing the word at school, she didn’t even know what it meant until asking her mom. Quickly, Léa realized the racial disconnect that poisons American society. She explained that she was “just shocked that the divide between the two groups was so big, so early,” and that “racism is a huge thing here […] I think that shocked me.” Additionally, politics also acted as a dividing force in America that Léa had not experienced beforehand. She tells that she “never really talked about politics in France,” but that “people here are crazy with their politics.” In discussing the separation politics can cause in the United States, Léa said it “breaks families, breaks friendships, […] breaks relationships.” Overall, politics and racism proved to be major culture shocks for her in the United States, demonstrating how America “divides people.”
While adjusting to a new society and culture in the United States, Léa also had to learn a new language and get situated in a new school. Although Léa had grown up speaking two languages already, French and Spanish, she would end up having to learn a third due to her family’s migration to the United States. When asked about her experiences with learning English and going to school, Léa replied that they were “very interesting.” She explained that her mom had made sure they were located in a place with schools that offered English as a second language, which is what influenced their decision to live in Charlottesville, Virginia. Even in the English as a second language class, she still felt “like an outcast,” and just viewed as “the French girl” since she was the only one in the class from France. Léa also reflected on being neglected because the teacher assumed she was from a higher-class family than the other students and told her mom she could “afford a tutor on the side” if she felt she was not getting the help she needed in class. Instead, Léa’s mom had her translate songs in English, such as Taylor Swift and One Direction, in order to help her learn outside of the classroom, which apparently paid off because after just six months, she was moved into the honors english class.
In the interview, Léa mentioned her family’s experiences with integration as well, such as her dad’s employment search. While being Spanish speaking initially helped him to get a job at a grocery store, it seemed to have a negative relationship with his ability to advance his position. She explained that often “people have this idea here that if you have an accent, [and] don’t speak the best English, they kind of make you feel a little bit stupid.” Despite multiple attempts and qualifications, Léa’s dad was not able to become a manager for a long time. They more so received him with the idea of- “you have an accent. You don’t have the best grammar. We just don’t think you’re the best fit for the job because you just sound stupid.” As she explains, even though “a different background and the accent and the grammar don’t mean anything,” he was still not offered the same opportunities because of them – opportunities that had initially pulled their family to the United States.
Membership
Although Léa and her family left France over seven years ago, they did not leave behind their identities. However, living in a new country and society has had its hand at altering her sense of self, working to create a blended identity made up from cultures across the Atlantic. In this blended identity a duality was formed, one containing both positive and negative aspects. Being an immigrant in the United States, there can be a sense of disconnect to those around you. “I definitely will always feel like a forign[er],” says Léa, and for a multitude of reasons.
Léa explained that people will always tell her things such as “you’re so French,”and “that’s so European of you” because of various habits and mannerisms she possesses. From the way she drinks water at room temperature, to the way she studies, people are constantly pointing out to her how she is different from the society they live in. However, for her, this is all normal because it is what she grew up with. While Léa experiences culture shock on a macro-level, Americans may notice it on a micro-level in interacting with her, and their pointing out of it acts as a way to make the small differences hold more meaning, creating a disconnect between those who are more similar than they realize.
In her search for membership, Léa is pulled in multiple directions. She wants to adapt to the new world around her, but also does not want to lose European identity. But how can she hold on to something that is 4,000 miles away? By making it feel closer than ever. In people constantly telling her just how French she is, Léa is reminded that she has not lost that part of her. Furthermore, as a family, they make sure it does not happen. Léa and her parents still primarily talk to each other in French, whether it be over text or in person. However, being at school and away from home can make things difficult. “It’s hard because […] I’m at school now and I speak English to my friends all the time. And so when I come home, I wanna speak English right away. But my parents are very adamant about me speaking French to them because they want me to keep up with my French and not lose it.” In this quote, Léa depicts the pressures one can feel stretching them between their new home, what will always be their first home, and the part of them their parents don’t want to be lost.
By adapting to society and life in the United States, while also maintaining a sense of her French self, Léa develops a dual identity. This duality can contain some negatives, but Léa highlights the positives. She tells that she is “proud of it because it […] makes [her] stand out” and “not like everyone else” that surrounds her. Léa also told that she would use the dual identity to her advantage, identifying as “part of that society; part of America” at times where she can feel proud to be, but also separating herself from it at times where she may not feel pride in representing it, with the same going for her French identity. One anecdote she gave involved the 2022 World Cup. While the United States men’s team struggled, France dominated. She was able to root for France, her home team, briefly disconnect herself from American society, and revive her French roots through sport.
Although Léa has been crafty in successfully playing into her dual identity, it still poses many challenges. While she has been a part of multiple societies around the world, she does not feel complete membership to any of them, as she stated “it’s almost like I don’t fit in anywhere because I’m not American enough to feel American, but I’m not French enough anymore to feel French.” In the United States, she is viewed as French. In France, she is seen as Americanized. And in Spain, she is seen as both French and Americanized. In her endeavor to adapt to the society around her, her past society views it as her leaving them in the dust. And no matter how many efforts she makes to fit into her new society, she will always feel viewed as an outsider.
Léa describes that it is “hard to keep up with what people think of [her]” because of her duality. People will view her differently solely because of where she is from, thinking of her as “stupid” as “stereotypes are a huge thing that people assume when you’re from somewhere.” A topic in microsociology, the ‘looking glass self’ is our identity that we form based on how others perceive us, or the way we expect we are perceived. As Léa experiences a shift in perceptions constantly based on the society she is in, her sense of self then is constantly in flux. One may think you would feel more attached to a society when you are an active member of it, however for Léa, this is not the case. Due to perception, she is always viewed as an outsider, as a member of another society that is merely visiting.
There are a number of forces that push and pull Léa towards conformity as well as towards her roots. She describes pressure from her family, particularly those positioned in France. When doing a study abroad trip in Europe, she was able to visit these family members. She got many comments such as “woah, you’re starting to get an American accent when you speak French,” telling her she had “been Americanized” and that she was “becoming an American.” Léa detailed this, saying it was “hard because like yeah, I moved here. I had the pressure of, ‘oh, you were the French girl.’” While finally feeling like she had “become more of an American” and “finally feeling more like [herself] here than [she] used to,” the reaction in France made her “feel the pressure of not being French enough for [her] family.”
For Léa, there is seemingly no way to win, yet also no way to lose when discussing identity. She is constantly in limbo, floating in between the societies that make up who she is, but never fully settled in one place. Forgetting where she came from was never a part of the plan, and Léa was sure to not let it happen. Without her family here, she predicts she “would’ve been lost.” When speaking of her family’s importance in the formation and sustaining of her identity, Léa said “they help me stay who I truly am, my roots.[…] I’m always from France.” Although her migration may have led to a duality of identity that is in a state of constant motion based on where she is in the world, there was never any question as to where she was from and who she was; the “French girl.”
Conclusion
When asked what she considers herself in America, Léa replied “foreign.” However, as she has become more Americanized, this sense of being an outsider has transcended American borders, and now she feels like no one place is home. In trying to adapt to the society around her, Léa’s membership to her previous hearth was stripped, even though her heart was still with France. Yet, she uses her duality as a superpower, adapting to the society around her while staying true to her roots, never forgetting the place and values that raised her, and the family that held everything together.
Immigration Stories Interview with Léa
Ian Moriarty: [00:00:00] So where are you from?
Léa: I’m from France, Toulouse, like, south of France.
Ian Moriarty: And what was your process of migration like?
Léa: I moved to the United States with my mom, my dad, and my sister. We, I moved here at the age of 13. And we basically put all of our stuff in a big like all of our bigger stuff we put in like a, what do you call it? Like, it’s like a boat. Like a, like a cargo, like a Yeah, container. Like a big container that they put on a boat. So like, we did that and then we had to sell all of like, technology and appliances, like because the, like France and like the US have different like Yeah. What do you call it? Outlets. Outlets. So we had to sell everything like TV to like Chargers, phone and everything, which that was like kind of crazy. And then my sister and my mom and I, [00:01:00] we flew before my dad, cuz my dad had to stay and sell our house and like figure out like a few paperworks and everything. So we were like far away from my dad for like two months. Which was a little bit hard, but that was like the process of like me moving here a little bit.
Ian Moriarty: And you said you were 13?
Léa: Yeah.
Ian Moriarty: Okay. What made you move? Like what factors like pushed you out of France but also pulled you to the United States?
Léa: So my mom is actually American and she was born in Manhattan, New York. And her, both her parents are from Paris, but they moved to the US like for my grandpa’s job. And then they had my, my, my mom and like her two brothers in the US But then my, my parents actually met in the United States. And then my mom and my dad met in the US even though my dad was from France and Spain.
It was very complicated. And then after that, they moved, my parents moved to to be with my [00:02:00] dad’s family closer to Spain and France. And then they had me and my sister in France. And then we found out that my grandpa had really bad cancer. It was like some type of like stomach cancer and it had like spread.
My mom got a phone call that like, he didn’t have like that much like time left. And so my mom decided that it was time for her to move back to the United States to be closer to her family, like her two brothers and their wives and my cousins, and like her parents. But also they, France just had elected their new president which was I think at the time.
And so the economy was just kinda like going all over the place. Like less job positions were getting opened. My parents were just worried that like career wise for me and my sister, we would not have like a lot of options and like for like dreams and like future, like we would struggle a lot there. And they thought like the US would have more opportunities for us.[00:03:00]
So like overall they were just like, well, like to be close to my mom’s family and have. better opportunities for me and my sister like us is the better option right now for like what we need to do. So we decided to move. I was really upset cuz like friends is like what I’ve always known my family like, I mean like my dad’s family is all there. My friends like also Spain. We used to go there every summer to visit my dad’s family and like I was used to the culture and like speaking Spanish in the summers was like what I was used to as well. Having to say goodbye to all that was really hard cuz the US has a very different culture and I just, I didn’t know also any English when I moved.
So I was just terrified the idea of like coming into a country of like not knowing the language or the people and like also like yes I did have family, but like I wasn’t close to my family here cuz I probably had visited like twice before. And that was very little.
Ian Moriarty: Was french your first language?
Léa: Yes
Ian Moriarty: and then Spanish was your second language?
Léa: [00:04:00] Yes.
Ian Moriarty: And then english your third?
Léa: Yes.
Ian Moriarty: Okay. Wow.
Léa: So like I grew up speaking French. I went to French schools. My parents spoke French to me at home. But then when my parents would work on the weekends, my dad would like drop me at my sister off to my grandparents’ house.
And my grand, my grandpa is from Spain, Seville, and my grandma is from Italy. So I have a lot of like culture in my background. So my grandpa, my grandpa was very big on speaking Spanish to me and my sister growing up. And like I said, like we would go to Spain every summer to visit my cousins and like my aunts and uncles from my dad’s side.
We would go to Seville a lot, which is where my grandpa’s from, every summer with my dad’s sister and my two cousins, and that’s how I got like my Spanish to like become like very strong and become fluent in it. And then I learned English when I moved. I was in the English as a second language class for about six months until they moved me to like honors English.
Ian Moriarty: Oh wow.
Léa: Yeah. For the second like semester of seventh [00:05:00] grade.
Ian Moriarty: Did you experience much culture shock coming to America?
Léa: Oh yeah, definitely. Like little things too, bigger things. I have this like vivid memory of like me and my dad being in like, we went to like what the Dollar tree, which is like non-existent in like France.
Like we don’t have a Dollar Tree or like, none of that. But we were missing like, what, 50 cents to buy this like random, I don’t even know where we’re buying, but this lady in front of us was like, oh, like here you go. Here’s 50 cents. And my dad and I looked at each other and they’re like, what is she doing?
This is like weird, like people in France would never turn around and give you 50 cents like that. like, it’s so little, but in France they would be like, sorry. Like the cash would be like, sorry, like you can’t get that. You’re missing like 25 cents. Like, like my mom’s best friend in France was trying to buy like a baguette.
Like it’s like this is a true story. And she was missing literally 25 cents. . She used to buy her bread there every day. So like she knew the worker and the worker was like, sorry, like you’re missing [00:06:00] 25 cents and like, you can’t buy your bread. And she was like, okay. And she had to like literally leave. But like here in the us like the fact that that lady, like, we didn’t know her, she was a stranger.
Just offered her like offered us like 50 cents was like crazy to us cuz we’re like, well, like people are so like welcoming and kind and like willing to give here. And that was a big like culture shock for us because like we had never experienced that. People in France more, or like in Europe in general, like are not as, like, there’s more like like a bubble, like a personal bubble.
I feel like people here are more willing to help one another in a way. And then obviously like the little things, like the roads are bigger here. Everything’s bigger size, like you go to a restaurant, like the cup is bigger. The, the portions are bigger. Like everything is just like bigger. Cars are bigger, houses are bigger. like that was a big culture shock too.
Ian Moriarty: How long did it take to get used to the [00:07:00] differences you think?
Léa: I mean, honestly, like I still sometimes like, I mean I’ve been here now for seven years? Yeah. Cause I’m 20 and I still sometimes I’m like, whoa. Like I still, sometimes I’m like, wait, like that’s different.
So like it still takes a while to like get used to it, and I’m still getting used to some things, but I would say like the first two years, like it took me to get really used to like feeling like this is my new home For sure. Like, I still don’t feel like this is my home sometimes, like I truly feel like I’m from France still.
Like this is where I’m from. Like this is what, like even in the World Cup right now, like I’m rooting for France. Like it’s where I’m from, but like I’ll never feel like an American. Like that’s just not where my home is.
Ian Moriarty: That was actually one of my questions. If you felt more American or more like a foreigner or French?
Léa: I definitely will always feel like a foreign.
just because like my family, like we still speak French. We text in French and like [00:08:00] I feel like I’m very European in the way I am. Like I don’t like stupid things. I mean, I don’t drink water with ice, like room temperature. I don’t, I’m not a snacker. I will, I eat my three meals and it’s just very, and I, I can tell you these right now because people will point these out to me like, oh, you’re so French.
Oh, you’re so, that’s so European of you. And like that I, that’s how I know them. Like I can tell you them like that because people point them out to me like, wait, that’s so true. Like, that makes me European and I’m kind of proud of it because I feel like it makes me like stand out and I’m not like, like everybody else around me in a way.
But yeah, there’s little things like that and like, I feel like in the, even in the way I study, , France is very strict with school. There’s like a certain curriculum that we have to follow, like you can’t write in like you have to write in cursive and like you have to use pen and like, we don’t have computers in France.
Like you have to write everything like handwritten, like use colors, like code, [00:09:00] like color coded notes. So I feel like the way I studied really, like in France has helped me to study and like be a good student here for sure. . My, like studying background there has like, helped me a lot.
Ian Moriarty: So Do you still mostly write notes on paper?
Léa: Yes. Like I’ve never taken notes on my computer.
Ian Moriarty: I used to do on paper, but really my, I couldn’t keep up so I had to start typing them. But it does, I feel like it does help
Léa: for sure. Yeah. And like I’m really big on like color coding and like everything with that.
Ian Moriarty: For sure. So, what’s the primary language you talk with your talk to, with your parents?
Léa: French. Like we even text on like WhatsApp, like we don’t even use, like we all have like iMessage or whatever. But my parents like text on WhatsApp because like that’s where I text my French family and like my Spanish like family. And so my family just created this group chat on like WhatsApp.
So we just text on there and like speak French to each other. I mean, it’s hard because, you know, like I’m at school now and I speak English to my friends all the time. And so when I come home, I wanna speak English [00:10:00] right away. But my parents are very adamant about me speaking French to them because they want me to keep up with my French and not lose it.
Because like, once your brain learns in another language, you kind of start speaking like fran-glish almost. Mm-hmm. , like, you switch back and forth and like your brain gets confused and I mean, like I also have Spanish in there and like, it’s like it gets all like rambled and like, it’s, it’s like a lot to like handle and like when you’re tired too, like you, it’s like hard for you to like, think of just one language.
But my parents are very adamant about me speaking French. So like the slightest bit of English I speak at home, my dad is like, no, like, speak French to me or I will not respond to you. Yeah. Because they want me to keep up with my culture and where I come from. So
Ian Moriarty: do you feel some pressure from them to keep up with your and their, and their roots. And your roots too.
Léa: I do feel like a little bit of pressure. I mean, I went to France this summer to visit my family, like after I studied abroad in Spain and I was already getting like a lot of comments like, whoa, like you’re starting to get an American [00:11:00] accent when you speak French.
Like you have been Americanized. You would be becoming an American. Like, you know, like it’s hard because like, yeah, I moved here. I had the pressure of, oh, you were the French girl. Like, oh, like you have a French accent. Like I had that pressure and then now I finally feel like I’ve became more like I lost my accent a little bit for sure. And like, I have become more of an American, I would say. And so like that felt better cause I was like, oh, I’m finally feeling like more like myself here than I used to. I used to feel, and then I’d go to France and then I’m like, now I feel the pressure of not being French enough for my family.
Yeah. So it’s like hard because now I feel like it’s almost like I don’t fit in anywhere because I’m not American enough to feel American, but I’m not French enough anymore to feel French and I’m not Spanish enough cuz I have a French accent when I speak Spanish. So it’s like I have an accent now in every language I speak. Which [00:12:00] I’ve realized. .
Ian Moriarty: So you have like a tri-identity and they’re all pulling you
Léa: Yes.
Ian Moriarty: Away from the core kind of.
Léa: It’s like I have a French accent where I speak English. I have a French accent where I speak Spanish, and now I have a American accent when I speak French. Mm-hmm. . And I’m like, so where do I be?
Like, it’s almost like, yeah, where do I belong? Like
Ian Moriarty: there’s a lot of tension there. Kind of. . Especially when you’re just trying to like one group won’t accept you or fully like, you’re trying to become more like one group, but then other groups are like, Hey, why are you,
Léa: yeah, yeah. You’re French like you are from this country.
Now you have an American accent. Like, what is this? But it’s because I moved here so young, like, and I live here and I speak sp, I mean, I speak English on the daily, like mm-hmm. , it’s going to happen.
Ian Moriarty: This question’s a little. odd, but what, I’m just curious what language you like think in. Is there a certain one that you think in more, or is it
Léa: kind of like, actually, a lot of people ask me that.
Like people I just meet and realize that I have an accent. They, that’s the first question they ask me. Oh my God. Like, what are you thinking? [00:13:00] It’s interesting because I, I don’t really know actually. I think it depends. Like my mind was like, how do I say this? It’s like I would think in English if I’m already thinking in, like if I’m already in like in like a situation where I was like speaking in English, like right now since we’re like speaking in English and I was like thinking something, I would think of it in English. But if I’m speaking French with my parents and like I get ignored something, but like, I can’t say, I’ll think of it in French.
Ian Moriarty: Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense.
Léa: It like depends like what situation I’m in, what language I’m speaking. . But yeah, I think that,
Ian Moriarty: So what were the, what was your experience of, and your family’s experiences of economic integration?
Like finding jobs and a house and so forth.
Léa: My, so actually like my my mom’s parents owned a restaurant in Gordonsville, like Virginia. [00:14:00] So my mom like, already had a job, like coming in there, like, she was like a waitress and like was helping like had also like a part into like the restaurant like business with like her brother who also was involved in that restaurant business.
And then my dad he got hired by Wegmans, like he was like looking for jobs and got hired by Wegmans. He also knew Spanish, so, which ha like, having that like up his sleeve, like helped him a lot, like knowing a few languages for him. So I feel like he also didn’t really know much English, so he was in the same boat as me and my sister.
But I do feel like it’s really hard because I feel like people have this idea here that if you have an accent, don’t speak the best English, they kind of make you feel a little bit stupid. Like they. . I don’t know, like my dad like tried multiple times to become like a manager, for example, but it’s kind of almost like, oh, like you have an accent. You don’t have the best [00:15:00] grammar. We just don’t think you’re the best for the job because you just sound stupid. Even though like if he had the interview in French, like he like had like the job, I feel. Mm-hmm. . I just feel like people forget that like we come from. A different background and like the accident and the grammar don’t mean anything.
Yeah. So like that was really hard. I mean like, financially, like it was really hard to move because we had to like buy a lot of new things like a tv, like couches, like think of like everything new. Like, like we literally had to sell a lot of things. Cuz it would’ve been way too expensive to move everything from France.
We lived in an apartment for about a year and a half. It was I think that was hard to move from like a house to an apartment. Mm-hmm. For my family which was definitely tough. And then my aunt, who’s a real estate agent, like, kind of helped us for a little bit looking for [00:16:00] houses. My parents just wanted to move in an apartment.
They, because they wanted to like, see the area. At first, they just wanted to not buy a house in an area they didn’t know and then like by, in the wrong area. So we live in an apartment and then after year started looking at houses once we knew the area more. Oh, okay. And then we bought a house with the help of my aunt.
But yeah, it was definitely hard to live in an apartment and like all the moving was hard. And like not having like some appliances we needed right away, like we had to use, I don’t know, like plastic silverware for like months because we didn’t have like, the stuff we needed, and like having to switch everything like that.
I’ve always known like, like I know like you probably have had like the same like coffee machine or like little things like you’ve always known as a kid or like things that you’ve always used as like, like the same mug or I don’t like little things that you’ve always seen at your house or your kitchen and like having to leave these things behind and like buying, all new things was really weird and, [00:17:00] I don’t know, like that was like really odd and like upsetting thing to go through I think for me and my family. But like once we like got past that, then it was fine. But I, the first few months were definitely weird, I would say.
Ian Moriarty: What were your experiences with naturalization and citizenship? Like,
Léa: so my mom, because she was American, she right as we were born with my sister, she was able to pass on her citizenship to my sister and I because she just wanted to like, just in case be able to like give that to my sister and I. So we’ve always had dual citizenship. My dad on the other hand had to get a green card when we moved, which was a whole process because he had to prove that he was married to my mom. So they had to go to DC and go through interviews, where like some of the questions were what side of the bed do you sleep on and what color toothbrush does he have? And if they didn’t match their answers [00:18:00] and you know, cuz I think a lot of people like tried to lie about it. They’re married, just they can stay in the country and everything.
So that was a really stressful time. But yeah, so he has the green card and he’s gonna try and get his citizenship but that also takes forever. But yes, that was stressful, especially cuz my dad had to come here by himself. Like I said, cuz he had to deal with all the paperwork and everything. So that was a little bit scary. And I know my mom was worried a little bit.
Ian Moriarty: My professor for this class actually went through the same process. Like his wife wasn’t from America or a citizen. So he had to like go through all those tests and be questioned. And he said it was kind of almost insulting at points and just,
Léa: yeah, it is.
Like literally they asked what kind of, what color toothbrush. Yeah. Does your husband. Like, I’m sorry, but I don’t even know my own color toothbrush. And my mom, they ask her the same question. I mean, and my dad, they ask him like, what color toothbrush do you use? And if their color didn’t match or something like it might be a lie. Or like, like they ask like the most random question. Like, [00:19:00] I don’t know. I just feel like it’s like crazy that like, and we had to like, I know my mom was really stressed one day cuz she was like trying to find pictures of me and my sister with my dad throughout the years to prove that my dad is our dad. And like, it’s just like a stressful process because like, like we know he’s our dad. Like my mom literally had, was panicking cuz she couldn’t find pictures with us and our dad from like, the ages of like seven to like nine. And she was like, oh God. Like I can’t find pictures right now. Like, and we had all our stuff in boxes and yeah. That was stressful for sure.
Ian Moriarty: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. All right. So what, you’ve already touched on this a little bit. What were your experiences like with learning English and going to school.
Léa: Very interesting. My mom, like we made sure to find an area where English as a second language was offered in the school cuz her family lived in Gordonsville, like near the orange area. But we actually decided to move closer to Charlottesville, Virginia, which is like 25, 30 minutes away from that Gordonsville because English has a [00:20:00] second language was offered. So I was in seventh grade and I was in that like English as a second language pro like classroom program thing for six months. And I was in a class full of people from like El Salvador and Honduras, so they spoke Spanish. And I was the only one from like France. So they were already all friends and like got along with each other and it was nice that I could speak Spanish, but, I feel like I almost was like an outcast because they just took me as like, oh, the French ground we are like from like, like El Salvador and Honduras. Like we are own like group and like you’re not from like where we are from. And I think the teacher also understood that. And then this guy from Russia also, came late like a two weeks later into like the classroom.
So him and I were kind of like in the corner learning English really fast because we didn’t have really anybody else to talk to in our own, like first languages cuz he spoke Russian. So we were just kind of like learning in a fast pace. [00:21:00] And I came home one day and I was kind of frustrated because I felt like the teacher didn’t help us out, but she helped that big group of kids out more than she helped us out.
And so my mom, I remember, met with the teacher, and the teacher basically said that we could afford a tutor on the side, but the kids couldn’t because they came from, you know, lower class income families. But me and the other Russian kid came from what it seemed like, higher class families, so we could afford tutor. So that’s why she was giving them more time than us, and that’s obviously not right. So what we did is like made my mom like on the side, like we, like, she would like make me translate like songs in American that I liked in English, like Taylor Swift songs, one Direction songs that I liked and I would translate them in French and like, so like that would help me like learn.
And then me and the kid from Russia we like really like learned English super fast cuz the [00:22:00] assistant teacher would. Well, like the teacher would have the other kids. And then we moved to honors English, both of us after six months. Wow. So by like February we were in honors English.
Ian Moriarty: Wow. And honors too. That’s very impressive.
Léa: Yeah, because I think we were just so ready to get out of that classroom cuz we didn’t feel like we had any support or help from the teacher. . and also those like kids from Honduras and El Salvador were just like, kind of like bullying us almost, because like they could see that we were like advancing really fast, but they just kept speaking Spanish to each other and they weren’t learning because I felt like they didn’t have the motivation we had to just get out of there. like we just felt like an outcast group. Like we just wanted to get outta that classroom and just like be done. So we just had the motivation to just like learn it.
Ian Moriarty: Once you were once, after the six months, once you transferred into honors English, did you still feel like an outsider or were you able to like, make friends and find your group?
Léa: I did feel like an [00:23:00] outsider until like mid high school for sure. Just because like, you know, middle school is like a rough time for everybody, everybody has their own groups. It’s like people and there’s like drama involved and like, I always felt like the new girl for like the first two years for sure. I always had to do these tests, like to see where I was at with my level of English. So until ninth grade or 10th grade of high school, I had to do like this like English as a second language test, which would test my skills in English, like grammar and like, I think it had like a listening and like a writing portion as well to see if I could like be done with English as a second language class. Even though I wasn’t in the class anymore, I had to take this test to see if like I needed more practice or whatever. So I think I passed a test ninth grade or 10th grade. But my friends have always called me and known me as the French girl. Like I’ve always been that to everybody. Even when I meet people now, they’re like, oh, like do you have a speech [00:24:00] impediment or is that your, or is that an accent? Like I will always feel like an outcast no matter what because of my accent. And like I tried so hard to like try and get rid of it, but like I know at this point I’m like, well, it is what it is.
Like I have an accent. But it’s hard in like a group of like people who were born here who have always lived here to not feel like an outcast. Especially when I have like a different culture, a different way of like eating, a different way of living, different of talking that like you can’t like not feel like one.
Yeah. You just, there’s a difference in like, can you feel like one and like be okay with it and just like doing your thing or like, you know, like you just have to like,
Ian Moriarty: it’s like a limbo.
Léa: Yeah.
Ian Moriarty: I remember actually when I first met you, you introduced yourself as the French girl. And then, and to me, actually, what I thought of was just that you had French with Ella, but
Léa: Oh,
Ian Moriarty: then I remembered she had told me you were also from France,
Léa: but [00:25:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. .
Ian Moriarty: So what are your experiences with like political and social aspects in America compared to where you were? .
Léa: A big thing that shocked me is I feel like the N word is used a lot here and I think that shocked me the most.
I feel like like African American, like people and like white people like is a huge deal here, which is not like that at all in friends. I. , there’s a lot of like, like black people in France and like here, like I just like, I don’t know, like for me, like wasn’t like normal. Like I never really thought, like, I kind of see them like as like me, like I don’t think there’s a difference.
Like, because like there’s so many like in France and like here, like I was confused what even the n word meant, like, you know, like I didn’t even know like what it meant because like, I’m not from here. And I heard and heard and some, and I came [00:26:00] home one day and asked my mom like, what does that mean?
And she told me like never to say it and like, it can be really offensive for somebody. And like it is just like wrong. And like, you know, she like kind of explained to me and I was like, I had no idea. And like I was shocked that like in middle school, like people would say it because like, we’re so young and like, I don’t know, I was just shocked that like the divide between the two groups was so big, so early.
Ian Moriarty: Mm-hmm. . I feel like especially in schools, you can notice that like on the playground they like, yes. People will still be segregated, even though we say yeah, like, oh, racism like,
Léa: like racism is a huge thing here. And I, yeah, I think that’s shocked me. So early on I had no idea. Like, I was like, whoa, that’s like a big thing there. Like I don’t think in France I ever- like I think in France the racism is more towards like Muslims. Mm-hmm. like I don’t think so [00:27:00] much versus like black versus white people but here it definitely is. Mm-hmm. and it’s crazy how, what shop music, like how early I like figured it out.
Ian Moriarty: Yeah. I mean it’s, it happens from such an early age. Did you notice any racism within the school and between teachers and students?
Léa: I wouldn’t say between like teachers and students, but within the students themselves. it’s more like, kind of like a joke, but you know, that it could offend someone. It’s just like, I think again, like what’s shocked me the most is how like young we were and it got brought up so early on into like school, like middle school, and I was like, whoa.
Like it almost makes you believe that like parents are like bringing it up. like politics too. It’s like I never really like talked about politics in France. Like Yeah. I mean like you hear about it in the news, but like, I feel like people here are crazy with their politics. [00:28:00] It’s like people bring it up at the dinner table. like Americans like bring it up at the dinner table. Like, it’s like a conversation starter, like in France. Like we don’t talk about politics. It’s like, okay, like we see on the news. Great. Like, I don’t know, like we don’t care if you’re left or right or whatever. But here it’s literally like breaks families, breaks friendships. Yeah. Like it’s insane. Like breaks relationships, like it’s like a huge thing. I feel like racism and politics here are crazy.
Ian Moriarty: Would you say America’s more divided?
Léa: Oh, 100%. It divides people for sure, it’s, I feel like it’s like what people talk about probably like on their first date, like literally it’s like a deal breaker for people, which is insane. Yeah. Like in France, you probably won’t talk about it to like, I don’t know, like, like until like you’re very close. Like it’s not something people care about [00:29:00] as much as here For sure.
Ian Moriarty: And even like, so for me, I went to an elementary school where white people were the minority. And so like, I had a lot of friends that were not white. Mm-hmm. . And then right as we got to middle school and they started placing people in classes like honors and standard. Suddenly I was not in the same classes as was all my friends and, and even though they were just as smart as I was, so that kind of seemed a little bit racially structured. Did you notice any of that in your experiences with where you were placed?
Léa: A little bit, honestly. I mean, now that I think about it, yeah. I mean, in my high school that I think about it, there was always a classroom with more white people than like black people. Like there, there was a classrooms like that and in, in the moment, like I would never, I didn’t even think about it, but like now that I look back, yeah, there, there was classrooms like that. Yeah.
Ian Moriarty: Do you think you were. , like thought of as not as smart just [00:30:00] because you weren’t from America?
Léa: Oh yeah. All the time. And I still struggle with that and I’ve actually had a conversation with one of my friends about it, like the other night. People assume that, you know, because I have an accident because I’m not from here, I am stupid. Or like, for example, like I told one of my friends that I was going into college with a, wanting to be a bio pre-med, and she looked at me and she said, really? I thought you were gonna be a communications major. It’s like, people don’t believe that you can become a doctor or they don’t think you can become an engineer or like something like more than just working in like a little office or working, you know, like more than a cashier, like, because you have an accent and because you, your grandma might not be a hundred percent or because. Or, because sometimes I can’t find the word in English, like, because it comes to me in French. But all these factors make it that, like I have had many people like [00:31:00] think I’m dumb or go past me when they need a question or help with an answer. They don’t think I’m the person to ask because I’m not American, so I’m like stupid.
Ian Moriarty: That’s such a puzzling construct too, because like you said, where you’re from, it was more strict and more adamant about studying. And you probably have better habits than a lot of what it is taught here. So it’s just really obviously racist and unfair.
Léa: And like I said, like my dad too. as like a grown man deals with it on the daily as well as with work. Like he’s not taken seriously by like he has now he’s a manager at like the place he works. So he’s like high up in there finally, and like I feel like people still don’t treat him seriously because of his accent. It’s so upsetting because you want people to treat you seriously, especially when you’re in your place of authority and it’s just annoying. , it’s your [00:32:00] accent or like the way you speak shouldn’t determine whether you’re smart or not. But people like make it that. And like the amount of people that have told me they thought I had a speech impediment the first, like the first time they met me because my accent is like not thick enough that you can hear it as an accent. Sometimes like people are just like wondering, oh, does she have an accident or a speech impediment? And. Very frustrating to me. Yeah.
Ian Moriarty: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. So what ties do you feel like you have back, like to your home country and do you go back often? do you communicate with your family that is from there often?
Léa: So I have my dad’s parents live there and my godfather, my godmother, a bunch of cousins, aunts, like my dad’s sister. So I have a lot, a lot of family. I have gone there three times since I moved there in like the past seven years. And a few of my family also has [00:33:00] came here to visit. Like my grandparents from France just came.
I do com try and communicate with my family as much as I can, like on WhatsApp and like apps like that and like FaceTime them. I think it’s really hard, especially with my grandparents because they’re old, you know, you kind of like wonder like how much time you have left with them and will I see them again or so, like every time I do see them, it’s kind of like a goodbye, like, will it be like a forever goodbye? Will I see you again? Like I think that’s the hardest thing for me and like for my dad especially cuz they are his parents. and then like my little, little cousins and like the newborns, it’s hard cause like you miss out on them growing up and you wanna like see them. So like, thank God for technology because now we can, like, I can see them like pictures and everything, but when I did go back this summer, there’s like, my aunt had a new house and like my little cousin was like three now. And I, I felt like I didn’t know him like. it’s really hard to like go back and like see that, cause you feel like you’ve missed out on so much. And they feel like that way when they [00:34:00] come here and visit us, like, oh my God, we’ve grown up so much. Like now we’ve came from being like girls to women to them and like, like me and my sister, like we’ve changed. And so like, it’s just really hard to like keep up. Cuz we’re so far away and like, like a flight ticket is so expensive and Yeah. You know, like we don’t have the means to just like do that every year.
Ian Moriarty: So what feelings of membership do you have towards the US? Do you feel like a member of society in the US or still like an outsider?
Léa: I think it depends, like in situations and where I am. I think I feel mostly like not an American most of the time because like I said, the way I am is very like European and I feel like a European at heart. Just the way I do things, the way I’ve grown up, the way I eat, the way I talk is very European, I think. [00:35:00] There has been times where I also feel like I could feel like a part of society because I have gone to like, like I’ve gone voting like I voted when I turned 18. And I felt like a proud American in that moment, which like I was proud, that was a big election that was happening and like I felt proud to go and vote for such a big election, a big moment.
So that was a good time where I did feel like part of that society, part of America, like but then like sometimes I’m just like proud to not be from here with, you know, like I’m just, it’s kind of like, I’m almost like, I will use it to, my advantage should not be from here and I will use it to my advantage to be from here, which sounds bad and selfish, but yeah, I think when it helps me out I will be like, yeah, I’m not from here.
And when it helps me I’ll be like, no. Yeah, I’m from America. .
Ian Moriarty: I think that’s good to use the dual identity and dual citizenship to your advantage because there’s things you’ve had to also deal with with [00:36:00] all that. Were people ever hostile towards you when you, or were people more welcoming when you got here?
Léa: I Think people were, whenever, you know, you bring up the fact that, like I brought up the fact that I professed from France, people always thought, whoa, that’s so cool. I. people have this like weird like idea, whoa, like she’s from France, that’s super cool, but then they’re quick to like judge at the same time. It’s like, whoa. What’s so cool is I’m from France, like she’s from France. I’ve always wanted to go to France, like, but then they have all these stereotypes also with that and they assume things really easily because I’m from there and then it’s just hard to like keep up with like what people think of me just because I’m from there and like.
like I said, like feeling like I’m stupid because I’m from there. And like, just like, I think stereotypes are a huge thing that people assume when you’re from somewhere. And I, it’s like I also have stereotypes of Americans, but because now I’ve lived here, I’ve understood what’s [00:37:00] right from wrong with those. But because people obviously from here have never lived in France, they can’t understand the right from wrong.
Ian Moriarty: How do you build like your own identity with all these kind of different parts of it coming together?
Léa: Like me being from like all these places, how do I build my own identity kind of?
Ian Moriarty: Mm-hmm
Léa: that’s a great question. I think the biggest thing is I moved here with my family and like the fact that like we stuck together is a huge thing. If I moved here by myself, I think I would’ve been lost. But the fact that I have my family, my sister is like my best friend and my parents make sure they always check on me and everything. And like they help me stay who I truly am, my roots. And I will like, I’m always from France, like I’m from France and they keep my culture in check and where my roots and like where I come from, my values. And I think [00:38:00] also having family here also have like my uncles and my grandma who have all the same values and culture because also my uncles are also French, they grew up in the French Way cuz my mom’s parents were French.
So I think like having that helps keep my, keep everything together. And that’s how I find my identity of just feeling very European in my culture and everything, the way I grew up, basically. Because like how I grew up for the past, for like the first 13 years of my life is how I, I still am now, even though being in school is hard to keep up, but when I go home, like it’s easy for me to keep that up.
Ian Moriarty: So, outside of your family, was there anything in like the Charlottesville community that made you feel closer to your home in France? were there any communities of French people or like things that reminded you of home?
Léa: No. Not really. I mean, I know like jmu helped in a way that they [00:39:00] have study abroad programs. And I did apply to one, like last year I got in and did like a whole, like three months of studying abroad in Spain because I was missing the culture so badly and I felt like I needed it, so I decided to do that. So I feel like there is options to, like JMU gave me the option to go back to Europe, so I can get my, a little bit of culture back, practice my Spanish, which I had missed. So I was so glad I got to do that. So I feel like there is ways for me to like gain back a little bit of my culture and values a little bit that I missed.
Ian Moriarty: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You’ve answered all my questions.
Léa: Okay. Awesome.
Ian Moriarty: All right. Thank you.
Léa: Yeah.
Recent Comments