My Digital-Material Feminist Self

As I’ve often mentioned, I came to feminism a little late. I was in my 30s when I started reading feminist work in earnest and asking feminist friends about waves, activism, and everyday feminist politics. It took me a few years to get comfortable with claiming a feminist identity. Like so many of our students, I wasn’t sure about what being an “out” feminist would mean for how people perceive me or engage with my ideas. For me, the digital space gave me a chance to try on a bolder feminist identity without the threat of having to defend feminism face-to-face. I think this process of building a digital feminist identity enabled to me to invite a stronger feminism into my material/physical interactions.

Toward the end of graduate school I created a Facebook account to use as my professional/academic social media persona. In general, the audience for this digital identity was largely aligned, or at least sympathetic, to feminist ideas. In many ways, when I posted feminist material I was preaching to the choir. Additionally, it was in this space I first started to cultivate feminist news and media. As Feministing, Jezebel, and The Feminist Wire started popping up I became more aware of public feminist discourse and the conversations people were having about feminism and gender oppression in everyday life. It was pretty easy to share these posts since it gave me distance from having to engage in F2F debate on the subjects and also allowed me to hide a little behind someone else’s words. Pretty quickly, I began to claim my feminist voice and identity more confidently in other digital spaces as well – twitter, pinterest, academia.edu, LinkedIn, and in my profile on the SCOM website. I also began occasionally cross-posting feminist material on my old Facebook account where all my friends are mostly from my past and definitely outside academia.

Over time, I began to perform my feminist identity more in my material life. I spent time puzzling over my embodied feminism and gender performance in the classroom. I worried about how to live my feminist politics in situations like the job search and in course design. Today, I think most students in my classes would be quick to say – oh, she’s a feminist. A student-lead activity in one of my classes had everyone create a “happy list.” Alongside the many things I love and am grateful for I added “feminism” (in pink). This sign is posted on my office door along with a screen shot of Shout Out JMU with a “This is What A Feminist Looks Like” sticker (also pink – hmm). In all the courses I teach I include feminist material and strive for feminist pedagogy that foregrounds students’ voices.

Despite all the ways and spaces that I claim and communicate a feminist identity there ares still areas where my feminist identity is more ambiguous. It’s only been in the last three years that my sister has taken to simply stating “my sister’s a feminist.” She now buys me gifts with feminist values in mind. She pipes up during family discussions about what women are “supposed” to do with comments like “Oh, Janell is not going to agree with that. You are about to get the feminist perspective!” – and her tone is delighted not snarky. While Kelsey bolsters my personal/non-academic feminist identity I notice the ways I still hide it a bit. Getting married this Fall was a good example. Nearly everyone at the wedding (outside my bridesmaids) expected I would change my name. All the cards were written to Mr. & Mrs. xxxx. And … I didn’t correct them. Despite my feminist convictions I’m still a ways away from being a strident feminist in all facets of my life.